The makings of a Shabbat

Pita bread looks good, doesn't it? Challah is more traditional, but pita goes better with the salads I normally serve at the beginning of the meal. But whatever we choose to make, my husband is quite the baker.

There are so many things to do it makes me feel slightly disoriented. Cooking and cleaning and ironing... fortunately, I have my to-do list to keep me on track.

A bit about observing Shabbat

I get many questions via email about Shabbat observance in our home, so I thought I would write a bit about it here.

The matters of Shabbat are so multiple and there is no way I will be able to discuss them all right now, so I'll just start by saying that the purpose of Shabbat is, of course, rest, though non-Jews are not expected or supposed to observe Shabbat in the same way Jews do.

For us, the types of work forbidden on the day of Shabbat are explicitly described so there is no problem defining what isn't supposed to be done. A general rule is not doing creative work (which would include painting as well as cooking) and not preparing for the upcoming week, which means that we don't sit around on Shabbat talking about what we are going to do tomorrow. This allows us to recharge mentally.

Naturally, there is still "work" to be done, such as serving meals and clearing up the table later, not to mention there's a baby to take care of, diapers to change, and dishes to wash.

Speaking of dishes, I wash mine. I simply don't have enough plates, cutlery, glasses and serving dishes to last me through the three Shabbat meals without washing up. So I wash what I need for Shabbat itself - I try to wash up the pots before Shabbat, but if I'm stuck with dirty pots, they wait until the Shabbat ends, because I wouldn't need them during Shabbat. I know families who simply let it all (dishes, glasses, etc) sit in the sink until the end of Shabbat. I don't do any wash up between the third meal and the end of Shabbat, because that's a period of time when we don't eat.

We heat our meals by using a Shabbat hot plate. A Shabbat hot plate is a simple device to keep food hot, but not hot enough to cook the food (as opposed to leaving the food on the stove). It turns on according to a pre-set clock so we have time to heat the food before meals. While I was single I didn't have a hot plate so I just ate cold food on Shabbat.

Other details of Shabbat: bathing the baby

Theoretically, I would be allowed to bathe the baby, but there's a problem with heating water on Shabbat, so I bathe her on Friday afternoon, and then her next bath is Saturday night.

Brushing our hair:

Brushing one's hair is forbidden on the day of Shabbat because hairs might get pulled out, but we can smooth out hair using one's hand. By the way we never had to brush Shira's hair yet, because it's so sleek.

Training children in Shabbat observance:

We always have Shira at the table with us during kiddush and meal times, and if she happens to touch something that we don't touch on Shabbat (like an electric appliance, a pencil, etc) we tell her "no. It's Shabbat!" - she will understand eventually.

Tending to animals:

Generally, there is no problem tending to the animals - your animals, just like your family members, need to eat, after all! And if you have a dog it must be taken out for a walk, Shabbat or no Shabbat.

I think it's very important that other family members pitch in with Shabbat chores (serving meals, clearing up) as well. I've been saddened to see families where people sit leisurely around the table, while the mother spends the entire meal dashing every minute to get this or that for one of the children, her husband, or the several guests that were invited. There is also the mad race from Friday morning till afternoon (you Jewish wives surely understand what I'm talking about!). Shabbat is supposed to be entered peacefully, not in a state of collapse from exhaustion.

The mad chase after degrees

It seems that today, hardly any people don't have a degree in something, which causes employers to be increasingly picky about people who don't have degrees, even if the job in question doesn't really require studies of three or four years. I used to work as a secretary when I was fresh out of high school, but now, most secretaries are required to have a degree, even though in my opinion it's completely unnecessary.

My husband is currently hunting for a job, and many places won't even interview him because he hasn't completed his degree yet. Those who do interview him, however, are deeply impressed by his level of both theoretical knowledge and practical skills. It's really frustrating that a piece of paper should stand in the way when everything else fits right in.

Not long ago, I was asked to provide daycare for a one-month-old baby. It didn't work out eventually and I'm glad it didn't, because it would have broken my heart to see this little one left with me every day, instead of being with his mother where he belongs. I refrained from judging, of course, because who knows what desperate circumstances might force a new mother outside the home so soon after her baby was born. I soon found out, however, that she was about to begin studying for a Master's degree - hardly an emergency. I remained speechless for several minutes after I heard this. This young woman, only 22 years old, now leaves both her babies in daycare every day before catching a ride to university. Again, who am I to judge another person's choices? Yet I can't help but wonder whether she will regret it in, say, ten years.

As you know, I have a degree in nutrition. While what I learned was interesting and useful, I don't think the degree would have been worth the sacrifice if I had to accumulate debt or postpone starting a family because of it. Thankfully, I didn't have to do any such thing, as I received a scholarship and continued to live at home. But now, practically, if I chose to work outside the home I wouldn't be able to afford a nanny. My friends from university work at jobs with the most pitiful salaries, which might be alright for them now as they don't have children yet, but I'm sure that as the years go by, choices will become increasingly painful and complicated. Four years of excruciating effort, and there is hardly any way they will earn more than the cleaning lady.

A young woman I know recently started a two-year study program which will give her a professional license. She was almost ashamed to admit that what she is doing isn't a degree. Yet what she is doing is much more sensible, in my eyes, if she plans to settle down anytime soon.

I'm not trying to bring across that degrees are useless. I'm just questioning their need for any and everyone. Now, it seems that even having a bachelor's degree isn't enough - more and more people are doing their masters', which means more years of much effort and little income. I do believe there is a place for a reform, for reasonable evaluation whether the job (or person) in question really requires a degree or not.

Becky continues writing her diary

The previous part here. Sorry for not updating for a while, but the draft isn't written in English so I need to translate and it takes time.

***

After dinner, we proceeded to the living room. I was strongly tempted to try and see just how wrinkled my skirt was at the back, but refrained from doing that. Aunt Anne served tea and cakes – Catherine made them two days ago, and they were still good. Everyone took their favorite place on the old sofa and armchairs.

- You know, Becky, - I jumped up, startled, when David addressed me, - when I first found out why you are going to live with us, I felt really sorry for you.

Oh no. Why does he have to bring this up now, in front of everyone? Even though his voice was very quiet, I was pretty sure Aunt Anne and Catherine are listening.

- Mom forbade us to tell you this, though, - he went on.

- I'm glad she did, - I nodded, - I don't want anyone to pity me. Around here, I'm treated just like one of you, and that's how it should be.

As soon as I said this, I felt just how true it is. As annoying as it can sometimes get around here, I didn't want to be singled out. Somehow, being treated just like Catherine made adjustment easier.

... Today, Aunt Anne felt better and even ventured into making strawberry jam early in the morning. It smelled delicious. When I went down to the kitchen, it felt as though I'm standing in the middle of a bountiful strawberry patch.

Naturally, Catherine was in the kitchen too, preparing to make pancakes for breakfast.

- Want me to lend you a hand, Cat? – I asked, surprising even myself, though not as much as Aunt Anne and Catherine, who both gave me startled looks. However, Catherine just smiled and handed me the pan. And imagine this, I spent an entire hour making pancakes while I could have been sleeping.

Later, while we were breakfasting and everyone piled up their plates with pancakes and fresh strawberry jam, Aunt Anne declared that today, as a special treat, school is called off. Her last words were drowned in exclamations of delight from Sam, Nat and Rachel. I, however, lowered my eyes and merely played with my food.

- What's the matter, Becky? – Asked Catherine, - Strawberry jam not to your taste?

- No, no, it's delicious, - I said quickly and started shoveling pancake into my mouth. A second later, I chocked, and after a coughing fit and lots of clapping on the back from Catherine, I gave up on eating anything else and just finished drinking my cup of coffee in total silence.

All of a sudden, I remembered that conversation with Catherine, when I first told her about Ted Pearson, the boyfriend I had back home. It might sound strange, but I really wished I hadn't said anything about it. Of course, I only touched the subject once, but I felt sure Catherine could remember it, because of how shocked she had been when I brought it up.

After the rain

We've had a couple of really rainy days here. I love the feeling of the first heavy rains of the year, spending my time holed up at home, watching out of the window as our plants are drinking their fill. When the sun came out again, everything was nice and washed up after the rain, and our garden truly came to life.
Plants have hit a growth spurt, and some funny creatures came out. I'm not sure what these are, bu when we have chickens, they will love to eat them, don't you think?
Yesterday and today, it's time to catch up on laundry, which has been put on hold during the rain (we don't have a dryer) and see my clothesline nice and full again.

Chickens

Dear friends,

It looks as though my husband and I are soon going to venture into raising chickens in our back yard. The chickens will be intended only for eggs and not for meat. Since we are real novices in this area, I thought I'd share some of our questions and concerns here, in the hope that some of you who are experienced in raising chickens can give us a bit of advice. We have already read through Rhonda's excellent guide for raising chickens, but there are still some questions left.

A little note about the climate in our area: it's generally pretty warm here in Israel, but some winter days it can be as low as 0 degrees Celsius and that must be taken into account.

Nests. How do we arrange nests for chickens and make sure they lay their eggs there and not all over the place? There is one guy in our area who has chickens, and every morning he combs his entire yard, collecting the eggs. We would like to avoid that if at all possible.

We would like to get our chickens as young as possible, but we want only hens. How old must the chicks be before you can tell the hens from the roosters?

How do we make sure we avoid salmonella?

Frugal feeding. Any tips? How should the chickens' diet change, and at which stage, as they approach laying age?

Which breeds are the most reasonable to have in your back yard? I mean taking everything into account - a reasonably large number of eggs (doesn't have to be too many, but preferably not too little), friendliness, ability to get along with each other and with children, neighbors and other animals.

Do chickens like to eat ants, and if yes, which breeds prefer ants and other insects? We have repeated infestations of ants all over our yard no matter what we do.

We haven't got a chicken coop yet, but our back yard is very small so we think we'll get something of about 120X60 cm (that's about 4X2 feet), which should house a small flock of about 3-4 birds. Do you think that should be enough? What about the height? Should 80 cm be enough? We intend to let them roam around the yard during the day.

Predators. We have plenty of foxes in our area; is there a way to guard the chickens from the foxes without having to lock them in the coop every night? Sounds tricky, I know. Or will we have to lock them in every time we go to sleep? My husband came up with the idea of perhaps lifting the coop up from the ground and installing ladders, or maybe placing something that will ward the foxes off but I'm not sure it can work.

What do we do if we need to be away for a few days?

Are there plants or any kinds of food that are harmful to the chickens and should be kept away from them?

I think that's about all for now. I might come up with more questions as we embark on our chicken adventure. Thanks in advance for sharing your experience!

Why should a breech baby mean an automatic c-section?

I feel very strongly something is wrong with this practice of automatic c-sections when the baby is breech. After all, merely a generation ago breech births were considered almost routine. I know many people who were born breech. I do realize there are more risks to a breech birth, but why does it automatically have to be a c-section?

I suspect that at least a part of it is because the doctors making the decision about the delivery are thinking short-term. They don't really know their patient, and they certainly won't have to meet her in a year or two, when the risks and complications from the (perhaps unnecessary) c-section present themselves when she is pregnant again. If this time she truly is in need of a c-section, performing two of those makes it highly unlikely for her to have a natural delivery in the future.

I think it's a point of grave concern that these days, as my doctor told me, young doctors are not even taught how to deliver breech births, and rely entirely on c-sections. This means short-changing women who could deliver a breech baby with no complications if only they were given a chance.

Read this article; it seems that in some countries, the medical community is starting to become more open-minded towards this issue. I hope Israel follows.

Also take a look at this article about a campaign to stop unnecessary inductions.