Thursday, October 25, 2007

He is writing my story

… And the plot He has in mind sometimes has nothing to do with what I would have written. His plans often disagree with mine, and sometimes leave me puzzled for a long time, wondering and asking: "what is it that You want me to do? What is the lesson You are trying to teach me?"

Sure, had I been given an author's license over my life, I probably would have made a completely different story of it. I would have had myself born into a big, warm, loving, strong-knit and deeply religious family, residing somewhere in the beautiful countryside. There would have been no core disagreements between myself and my parents and siblings.

Had I been able to write my own story, it would have included being faithfully guided and instructed by my parents from a young age, never lacking in feeling of security and abundance. At the age of 18, I would have planned meeting Prince Charming, courtship with the blessing of my family, marriage, and two sweet children – a boy and a girl – by the time I was 21.

I would not have chosen for myself a fatherless childhood, growing up with a mother who did her best – as the situation allowed – but was naturally tired and overwhelmed; many years of emotional and financial struggles; lack of instruction in the things most crucial and important for a young girl; rebellious years, which included every folly you can think of; pain and hardship, neglect and abuse, disappointment and sorrow, fear and despair. No, I would not have included all that in my story.

But He is the author – not me. And every day, he is writing another line, paragraph, chapter, making the story of my life unique and beautiful, and suited for His special plan. He includes darkness to accentuate light, and allows misery so that joy and hope can shine brighter. Like a painter, He chooses the loveliest colors; like a sculptor, He carves rough stone into a beautiful statue.

Sometimes, I involuntarily stop in my tracks, turn to Him and say: "You made a mistake. See, it was supposed to happen this or that way. And this wasn't even supposed to happen – what are You thinking?"

But today, I will try to find peace and put my life in His hands. I will try to enjoy the story He is writing, without forcing my own humble suggestions if I see they don't fit in His plan. I will try to let go of anxiety and frustration, bitterness and resentment, fretfulness and desire to be in control. Today, I will drop my pen and become a faithful reader, a reader who enjoys and delights in every word and every bend and turn in the story, not taken aback by the unexpected, not broken by the undesirable.

He is writing my story. And yours, too! Are you delighting in yours?

42 comments:

Jimena said...

Great Post Anna, I just started reading your post and I'm getting so much out of your writing. My story is not at all how I would write it, there are many many things I would have left out, but then I see that the Lord has used so many of the things I would have left out to mold me, make me, and bring glory to Himself. In my weakness He has shown His strength and blessed me in so many ways. Now I know this book He's writing is really an adventure book and what is a good adventure book without difficulties, danger, hardships, love, miracles, music, romance, disaster... and so on. I'm really enjoying your posts and have tons of catching up to do as I have just started reading you. Have a blessed day!

maria said...

I really enjoyed your post as this is central to in my life (and I guess to any christian). I have for the most part stopped praying for my wishes to be fulfilled but rather I pray for His help in becoming all that He wants me to be (even though I don't always necessarily know what that is) and that He give me the tools to deal with whatever happens in my life.
"Thy will be done". That always strikes a chord in me. However, that was not always so, and I must admit that ws I to write the script of my life, I would gladly "improve" it!

Terry said...

Don't we all have a vision of the life that we think would be just perfect? I know I do! And then I remember that He knows what I cannot know and sees what I am unable to see. You're right about what thing: it's the hard things that build in us the character and compassion that equip us for the master's use. Thankfully, He is more than able to take the shattered peces and create a masterpiece more beautiful than we could ever imagine. Thanks for writing such a beautiful post.

Sammybunny said...

it is so amazing how sometimes our story does not coincide with HIS story for our lives. I am glad that you are delighting in yours. He can make Christ shine in us wherever we are in life and whatever circumstances we have faced.

Christian Student Scientist said...

What a wonderful post! I agree with what you and the other commenters have said about our wishes versus our actual stories. At some point in my life I've discovered that what I want for myself will usually not make me happy. It will either be downright disappointing or will just make me hungry for more and unhappy. But God can turn even the darkest moments into my deepest treasures. To Him be glory forever!

Chelsey said...

Wonderful post Anna! And oh how true! May we always remember while we can only see a small piece of the puzzle, HE sees the whole picture! He alone holds the masterplans!

Jenny said...

I relate so much to this post. The past year has been one of those questioning times in my life. But when I think back over other situations I've been through, I can see God's hand in it all. Thank goodness my life is not up to me. I just have to remember to trust Him. His plans are so much better than mine could ever be.

Bethany Sue, CFO said...

Anna you have a beautiful gift with words.

Christina said...

Wonderful post! Sometimes I need the reminder that I am simply the reader, not the author ;o)

tales_from_the_crib said...

good post!
my mom recommends the book "Blue Like Jazz" which is an intersting spiritual biography...written as a series of snippets of the author's life...very good...oh and here's a good video too!

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5
have a great day!

AnneK said...

I think this is my favorite post of yours so far. I had a question though. Was this always what you wanted in life from small age or is it a vision in hindsight? If you had it from childhood, how did you fall from it during your teens?

Anonymous said...

This is a good post, Anna! Hmm...am I delighting in my story? I confess that sometimes I do not. I fight what is happening to me, I even pull away from Him when I know I should be drawing closer. Not good, I know. It is a daily thing, I believe, to submit to His will. It helps to be on the other side of a problem or adventure, & be able to say, "Oh, now I understand..." But of course, we're not always granted that this side of Heaven!

Brenda

Tracy said...

It is often had to delight in the past, with it being so bitter, but I know also, that God has a plan, and that he means it for my good, and His glory.

USAincognito said...

Well written, Anna. A great reminder that our lives our in His hand and that He sees the greater picture. He knows what He is doing and we just have to learn to trust Him, no matter how hard that may seem some days.

Anonymous said...

Anna, your words are so true. How I wish that so many aspects of my life could be undone or re-written. Perhaps at some point in the future God will know that I have suffered enough and a light will shine. Please pray that it does.

JoAnn said...

Anna, you write so beautifully. It is so very hard not to be the authors of our lives. But the one true Author, does know what's best. Though it doesn't always feel that way at the time. It can be so very hard. Thanks for the encouraging words. :)
JoAnn

Rebekah S. said...

Oh wow! I'm left speechless! What a beautiful and really well written post! What a blessed joy and comfort it is to know that the Lord of glory is in complete control of our lives and not one thing happens to us apart from His good, pleasing and perfect will! Our family's move is a clear testimony to that truth. I was angry at the Lord when He moved us from Texas up here to Tennessee 2 1/2 years ago, but so many changes in our convictions and beliefs and so many many blessings have come about simply because of our move! If only I had just completely trusted in the Lord from the beginning! What a blessing it is to know that we can always trust in Him!!

Thank you again for a delightful post!

Blessings,
Rebekah

Chez Moi said...

Thank you very much for sharing this today. Your post and all the comments were very meaningful for me to read today.

Sheri said...

Anna, I have missed your blog since I haven't been online much the past month... but this last post was just BEAUTIFUL! Yes, the "Author of Life" writes much more wonderful stories than we are capable of on our own.

There have been times in my life that I've wondered why the ink looks smudged or why I can't understand the language used, but ultimately, I praise the thank my Heavenly Father for all the has done... knowing he works everything out for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose.

Remember... He knows the end of the story!

Elizabeth said...

I can relate to this ... I often think of my life as a story (which comforts me, since God is the writer, so He already knows what is going to happen and He is weaving everything together for a good and rational purpose!) and wonder why things haven't turned out the 'perfect' way, the way *I* would have chosen, if *I* were the writer! Today, I really needed to be reminded that God is writing my story ... thank you for writing EXACTLY what I needed to read right now!

Anna S said...

"Was this always what you wanted in life from small age or is it a vision in hindsight?"

Annie, oh how I *wish* this was what I had wanted from small age. This would have prevented so many mistakes. But of course in my "ideal story" I would also know everything, all the good and bad choices, from the start.

I'm more than happy just as I am now, though :)

Katy-Anne said...

Great post Anna. I would have had my story different, but God allowed otherwise. I love what I have now though, even when it gets tough like it is at the moment!

Julie's Jewels said...

What a great post!! I know that my story as it started out many years ago was not as He would have wanted it to be written...but I had other plans for myself. I just thank Him that He was patient with me as I made my mistakes and bad choices and although I was writing my own story He moved the pieces of my life to get me to where I would begin to let Him write the story of my life. Do I always let Him write another chapter or another page in my life....I'm sad to say not that I don't always let Him. But my desire is to let Him write each and every paragraph of each and every page of each and every chapter that I might bring honor and glory to Him as my story is continuing on. So that at the end of my story the final words that will be written will be "Well done my good and faithful servant".

Thank you for this post and for the way the Lord led you to put it.

neuropoet3 said...

Anna, thanks for the reminder. The story of my life has been going through one of those points where the reader finds themselves holding their breath and wanting to read faster to find out what happens. :) It's comforting to know that the Author already knows where we're going to end up - and how we're going to get there!!

~Jenny

Ashley said...

Ah, Anna! This is so true. :)

As I told my SIL a few weeks ago, I think I would have chosen my firstborn son. Everything went so smoothly! I would never have choosen to miscarry. And I'm not sure I would have choosen to concieve Elijah, knowing the pregnancy would result in my baby being in the NICU for 12 days.

Was it worth it? A thousand times, yes! God didn't give me the strength to get through the seperation from my son until I needed it - until he was born.

I am so thankful that God is in charge of our family planning; there are so many times I could second-guess myself but there is no second-guessing God. Everything is for a reason....

Had I known growing up that I would move to the city for 3.5+ years, have two sons, and one would be born premature? The image I could paint in my mind would not be anywhere near as lovely as the reality God has created for me. I could not imagine the happiness and the peace that would come from living this way, in surrender to Him!

Thank you for a lovely post!

Mrs.B said...

Wow Anna, this is a beautiful post. Much to think about and so gracefully stated.

Thank you. (o:

Amy said...

What a wonderful post. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!

Kelly said...

Oh Anna, you are such a blessing! I continue to be so inspired by your writings. It'll be amazing what God has in store for your future...and He's created such a beautiful soul in you today. :o)

Praying Lord Jesus's blessings on you this Thursday!

Brenda said...

Anna, He would not have chosen those things for you either. You know that, right?
But He is faithful and it doesn't even make sense that you should have turned out as you have. My husband is the same way. Statistics prove I should never have married someone from an abusive, alcoholic, divorced background.

But God changes lives. And he is an awesome man of God. The story of our family (and by that I mean in the next generations) is indeed being written by God.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this post - I really needed to hear this today. The story of my life is so similar to yours, from what I've read in your blog, that it leaves me a little stunned.
I often find myself mulling over the past in my mind, re-punishing myself over and over for things that are already forgiven. It's good for me to re-focus. Thank you.

Melissa

Mrs. Jo said...

Absolutely beautiful! A good reminder for me in those tough times when I'm tempted to think other people have it more easy or that life isn't fair.

Kathleen said...

Thanks, Anna. You're a wonderful writer, you know. I especially liked the line, "Today, I will drop my pen and become a faithful reader".

Bless you!

Kelly said...

Beautifully said Anna, and one of the hardest lessons of life to learn.

Kristi said...

Anna,
That reminded me of a poem I read a little while ago. I think I'll post it on my blog - it's really encouraging.

God is good and makes no mistakes. It's good to see your desire to submit to the Master's hand.

Jenn V said...

Mmmm...I love the idea of "dropping the pen." I SO need to do this as I have been going through a lot of stuff right now I never would have chosen. I know the story has a happy ending. Despite the twists and turns in the plot along the way, the author is the Master at tying up all the loose ends until it all makes comes together in the end.

Blessings,

Jenn V

Karen said...

I never was a predestinarian in any sense of the word. Perhaps my view is not quite as optimistic, but I tend to stress free will and the fact that a lot of the wrong done us, and that we've done, was a result of our poor choices and could've, yes, SHOULD have been avoided. But we live in a fallen and sinful world and we just have to make the most of it. Try to do our best in everything and decrease the suffering of others as much as we can.

We don't know how very lucky we actually are. I just can't believe that God's will for so many millions of people would be such horrible lives, starving to death or dying of diseases before they are 40. We need more compassion on the world, and less people who think everything is just the Lord's plan. I just don't think that's true.

But I think you've become a wonderful person DESPITE you're past obstacles, and have used them to relate to other people. Not all women would do the same. :)

Zeljka said...

Beautifull post, thank you!
Zeljka from Croatia

Rebekah S. said...

Hi, Karen! I have a question. Do you think that the Lord God Almighty, Whom we serve,is Sovereign? Just curious.

Karen said...

Well, as I understand it, sovereign means having the ability to control absolutely, but not necessarily exercizing it all the time. At least, that's what it means in politics. Does He have the right to control everything, certainly. But that is not what he chooses to do.

Would a loving God cause millions upon millions of people to be born and die and the same day, one after the other, born to mothers who cannot take care of them? I think not. I think it must be our faults for not caring enough about each other.

Anna S said...

This already goes a bit off topic, but I believe a hair doesn't fall off my head without God personally supervising it and deciding it must be so. I also believe that He sometimes allows things I cannot grasp in the timeframe and perspective that are allowed to my limited human mind. For example: why do millions of children die from abortions? Why did 6 millions Jews perish in the Holocaust? Why do innocent babies starve to death every day? I can never know why until I actually stand before Him. But I know He is loving. He is faithful. It doesn't mean nothing bad will ever happen to good people; but if I thought He isn't in control of something - anything - I think that would shake my faith terribly. I cannot imagine something as important as human lives just slipping through His fingers. I find it much easier to believe that even the most horrible things are something to be used in His plan.

Rebekah S. said...

I agree Anna!! He is completely and totally sovereign, in control of all things, working everything according to His good, pleasing and perfect will, for His glory. We are humans, and therefore have human minds, and so cannot comprehend some of the things that take place. But I know my Lord is in total control, and what a comfort it is to know that!

Emily said...

This is so true, Anna. I am delighted that God is writing my story and that it is in His hands! He knows what He's doing ;)