Saturday, October 6, 2007

Why I am against feminism

Lately, I've received several emails from people who couldn't understand or accept my arguments against feminism. "But how," – they inquire, - "how a bright young girl, who was obviously given so many options by feminism, can so totally and wholeheartedly reject it?"

Let me share with you my perspective on how different my life could have been if it weren't for feminism.

If it weren't for feminism…

… my mother would probably not be unmarried; she would have a husband and wouldn't have to take on a masculine role. I would have a father who would support and protect our family.

… my father would probably not neglect his duty towards my mother and me; he would not ask her to seek an abortion, or 'deal with it' without him; he would assume responsibility for his actions.

… I wouldn't feel marriage and a normal family is something out of this world; I'd view it as natural.

I hope you understand: I'm not blaming feminism for my personal hardships, or saying all of these misfortunes could not have happened without feminism. But I do think feminism is responsible for creating an environment in which a woman is much more prone to become unprotected, exploited, abused, overwhelmed, torn apart and generally unhappy. And yes, I'm accusing feminism of creating an environment in which I, and countless other young women, have grown up in broken homes, with mothers that were never there. Are we supposed to say 'thank you'?

Now, I don't want this to turn into a pity party; after all, I've been blessed in countless ways. And I'm not saying all those things didn't exist before feminism came into the picture, or that I'm certain they wouldn't happen to me. I'm only stating that the incidence of them used to be much lower. They were an exception, not the norm.

And please don't tell me, 'you don't know feminism'. I do. I was educated according to the feminist doctrine throughout my years in public schools and college. Believe me, I know it through and through; I used to support it, I experienced all of its detrimental effects – starting from growing up without a father and ending with being sexually exploited in the name of 'liberation' – and this is precisely why I reject it.

I don't care about pretty slogans that say, 'it's all about choice, that's all'. I observe the life of women since the onset of modern feminism, and I'm very sorry, but when I look at unstable marriages, skyrocketing divorce rates, incredible pressure to earn money and neglect our duties at home (or worse, being told we can, and are supposed to, 'have it all'), infertility (due to waiting too long before having children and/or many years of using the Pill), abortions, immodesty, exploitation, lack of respect, immorality, ungodliness – and I could go on, and on, and on – I just don't see how it's supposed to make us happy?

If it's all about 'choice', then how come those who choose to be focused on the home, are convinced in every way that their choice is inferior? If it's about choice, how come I need to justify and explain my 'lack of ambition', telling I do have ambitions, only in a completely different area – and how come this explanation is never accepted?

59 comments:

Katy-Anne said...

Great post Anna! I totally agree with it, particularly the last paragraph.

PaulaB52 said...

Very good post Anna.

Anonymous said...

Amen Anna....I will have to agree with you as well about that last paragraph. What a lovely young girl you must be! I just found your blog this week and I am enjoying your insights.

Laura

Kelly said...

Well said Anna.

neuropoet3 said...

Anna, this post about sums it up for me too. :) I, too, have experienced enough of the side-effects of women's "liberation" to know that it does more to free men from their responsibilites than anything else. I wish our culture could be reminded what a wonderful thing it is to be a woman - not just a woman, but a lady. I was blessed to have a mother at home throughout my growing up years - despite the fact that my parents divorced - we just lived on the child support my father provided - we were broke, but we had food, shelter, and clothes - and I had my mother at home. Even at a young age I knew I had something special. My mama knew how to make our tiny house a home, and even though I had few friends (at that time I was the only one in our little town from a divorced family - though everyone I knew had parents who followed suit in the following years) - the friends that I did have thought I had the most wonderful mom. When the "cool" lunch boxes came out and we couldn't afford them, my mom drew the cutest little pictures on my brown lunch bags. They were so great that the other kids would come over to see them everyday - I carefully cut each picture out and saved them. (In fact, I still have them in my memory-trunk.) Yes, I knew that having my mother at home was a blessing - and when I dreamed about being a mother someday I knew it meant more than just giving birth and raising children. Having a mother who is a homemaker - a maker of a home - is a wonderful gift, and I'm so glad I've been able to give it to my children - especially since they have "special needs". I do, however, find it interesting that the "outside world" has different opinions about my SAHmotherhood due to the fact my children are "different" from other children. There are two different camps I hear from, the "Well of course - you have to stay home - you're children need you" (as if a "normal" child somehow doesn't qualify as needing a mother) - and then the "You need to send your children to the "schools" (ie institutions) so that the "experts" can give them the best care (ie somehow someone else can raise them better than I can - even though I'm the one who loves them and I can focus all my attention on them without having to keep track of at least 20 other kids in a classroom). What really surprises me is that from what we are led to believe about feminism you would think that a woman who "chooses" to stay a home would be just as respected for her "choice" as other women are for their choices. But it doesn't work that way at all. Feminism doesn't seem to be about choices afterall - only about convincing young women to make specific decisions about life, and making them feel inferior if they don't make the "right" ones.

Karen said...

I used to call myself a feminist too. I thought it was just the right way to view being a woman, and assumed that I would have it all. But a few months of hard full-time work woke me up to the fact there is NO WAY I could do that and raise a happy family. I used to think that all conservative Christian men were chauvinist, women-hating, selfish monsters lol. Wow, it was a big wake up call to meet so many loving and protective Christian brothers, and marry one, who really loved women and didn't exploit them in the ways you described. How many feminists would hate men if they understood that the Bible says your husband is supposed to love and lay down his life for you? If they saw men who did just that?

Who but the devil could've thought up a philosophy in which money and power is the central goal, family is second (and limited at that) and men are the enemy??

Penless Thoughts said...

We never had to defend our stand on what we chose to believe. We never had to convince other people. We just have to stand firm and unwavering in what we do believe and how we live our lives.
Susan

Anna S said...

Ah Susan... how I wish it was so!!

Ana said...

What a thoughtful post Anna. Thank you for sharing your views with us! I too wonder, if every one has a "choice" and every one is free to do as they wish why are we all pushed into something we may not want to do, like being away from home? I totally agree with your last paragraph.

Kyla said...

Anna,

I don't want to downplay what has happened in your life because you have had hardships. But to be fair I think that you are only looking on one side of the coin. Our country would be a far worse place if weren't for the women who fought for our rights. Early feminists gave women and minorities a voice that once only belonged to white men.

Throughout history women have had to at times work outside their home because of wars, global tragedies or personal tragedies. Early feminist fought for equal pay for equal work. Theylobbied for women and minorites to have a say in what happens in our governement. Men die and leave women all alone to handle their homes, children and sometimes businesses and they have a right to vote for the laws that will affect them.

I would suggest that you study closely the lives of some of the earliest feminists, they had husbands, homes and children. Many were Christian women who stood up for abused and battered women. They fought to end prostitution and pornography. I will agree that like all good things there are those that take it to the extreme. Many of those women are vocal about their thoughts and because of that all feminists have been labled as man haters. Thats why I am so glad that there are organizations like Feminists for Life and women like Elizabeth Vargas are standing up for putting your children before your career.

Because of Feminism you have a choice to stay home and I have a choice to work. I don't have a career because some extreme feminist thinks that I should. When I was a little girl I spent equal amount of time playing house and playing office. If there had never been feminism I would have never been able to have this choice. I wouldn't have had a husband who not only provides financially for our family but posseses a humbleness that allows me to be succesful in my career.

I am not trying to difficult or unloving towards your trials and I hope that the tone in which I meant this comes through.

In Him,
Kyla

PhDCow said...

"Because of Feminism you have a choice to stay home and I have a choice to work." -- well said, Kyla!

I think feminism was bastardized toward the middle of the twentieth century and turned into a radical movement that did not necessarily follow the true spirit of feminism.

Not only do I have the choice to work or stay home, but I also have the opportunity to participate in democracy through voting, supporting candidates, and running for office if I so choose.

Historically, the first feminists weren't pushing for equality between men and women as much as they were looking for women to be granted the same unalienable rights given to men. If you've voted in any local, state, or national election, thank the early feminists.

When I look at my 5-year old daughter, I'm very proud to see a future ahead of her that is only limited by her imagination -- the very same thing that I see for my 3-year old son.

As a college professor teaching management, I have about a 50/50 split of young men and women. It warms my heart when I hear a young woman tell me that she's taking my classes to learn how to manage her future household better. And then I say a breath of thanks to those early pioneers who gave her the opportunity to do so.

- Angela

Anna S said...

Saying that now, thanks to feminism, each one of us has a choice to do what she wants, does sound pretty - but let's take a good hard look at what's really going on.

For someone like me, choosing to be home-focused goes against all odds, and brings very appreciation or even understanding. Finding a man who is willing to provide for his family goes against all odds too, today.

Many, too many women feel trapped in college or in the work force, longing for their homes and their families, and simply not knowing how to *go home*.

LisaM said...

I know it's because you've had lots of practice answering these things, but I'm thankful that you've developed that ability to communicate the reasons for the hope you have within you regarding these things. You've found a way to write out things that I have come to be really confused as to why anyone couldn't understand. More power to ya.

Anna S said...

Lisa, you're absolutely right - this isn't the first time I have to think about a well-rounded answer to those questions. Maybe I should include this post in my FAQs section.

Mimi said...

Anna,
I am so sorry you have problems because of your choice to be a stay at home wife and mother... any time you decide to follow a lifestyle for yourself that goes against what is considered popular it is going to be hard...
but you just stand by your convictions and I will pray for you that your mother will understand your choice.
If you took a poll I think you would find that there are more women that would like to stay at home than there are that want a fancy career...
Many of the women work for financial reasons (of course that is a choice perhaps made by their husbands)
you keep voicing your feelings on your blog... it helps many young women to sort out their choices(and live with the choices they must follow)
I do enjoy your blog...when I was your age I didn't have the opportunity to voice my opinion and if I had... perhaps my choices would have taken a different path...
and Anna please try to understand why your mother feels the concern that she does for you... she only wants what is best for you!!
just because her opinion of what is best differs from your opinion of what is best, doesn't make her love and concern any less!!!

Kristi said...

I think the reason a Godly, biblically based lifestyle is looked down on/considered an inferior option is found in the Bible.

1Cor. 1:18 says: "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God."

The world considers us to be foolish. God even calls us "a peculiar people" but the reason is "that ye might show forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." (1 Peter 2:9)

If we are doing all for the glory of God, we will be considered fools, but there will be some that will see and be won to Christ by our good works. Let us continue to let our light shine!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Anna, for being a voice against feminism. I found your blog through an LAF article a couple of months ago. It has been refreshing and to read your insightful posts regarding Feminism.

To those who challenge or argue for the sake of feminism, I want to establish that the root of feminism is Marxism, who's goal is to destroy and subvert any and every example of God's creative order and the destruction of the family, to be able to establish their own idea of what society should be like. It is a war against God. If you really want to know what true relationships, femininity and masculinity look like, look at Christ and the Church. Anything else you are fed is going to be warped and distorted by Satan's war against God's order.

Feminism is about self, me first, my rights, do not fallow but be the leader, I want to do this, I want to do that, I don't want too do that, I WON'T do that... True Christian femininity and masculinity is about God first in ALL things even if it is hard or goes against the grain. Serving, giving up our wants and rights for the good of others, teaching others, loving others do not come naturally.

Why should we do those things? Because that is what he did for us, the Church, and since we are to be one with Him, we are to be like Him. That means FALLOWING him,(even as He obeyed the Father). That means looking to His word for the example that is set for all relationships. The first being Christ, the Groom, and the Church, the Bride, and the roles that God has laid out for both. Christ leading, ourselves fallowing, are the two most basic roles.

Marriage is the first and foremost contested, assaulted, and distorted relationship today. And we are paying a heavy price for it. Every thing flows out of and is affected by this one relationship(children, families, education, businesses...,)just like everything we do SHOULD flow out and reflect our relationship with Christ.

The fight is over who we are in relation to God, not what "good" Feminism can and has seemingly brought us.

A SEA

Mark said...

Hi Anna,

Just wondering about this statement you made in the comments section:

Finding a man who is willing to provide for his family goes against all odds too, today.

Do you believe it is wrong for a man to want (not need) his wife to help out financially?

Would your answer change depending on if the situation was before or after the arrival of their first child?

Gothelittle Rose said...

I'd like to clear up a few misconceptions about voting.

In several states, women were allowed to vote a good deal earlier than the Constitutional amendment. However, the whole idea of limiting the vote was not a deliberate slight to women and their intelligence. In such places, not all white men were allowed to vote, either. In many cases, they had to also be property owners. Why?

The idea was to count a family as a voice. The family unit was meant to be one voting unit, the father speaking the voice of the entire group. Adult sons working his fields did not have a vote. They all spoke together as one.

While I don't look back to those days as 'perfect and golden', I do regret the breakdown of the family unit and emphasis on individualism. It's truly a sad thing when the husband and wife consistently vote against each other, and I've seen it many times.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of big assumptions in this post. That your father would have behaved responsibly absent feminism is a big assumption. That you would have been happier if your parents had stayed married is a big assumption. That people didn't view homemaking as inferior before feminism is a big assumption.

But I do think feminism is responsible for creating an environment in which a woman is much more prone to become unprotected, exploited, abused, overwhelmed, torn apart and generally unhappy.

Because of feminism, it is a lot harder for anyone to exploit or abuse me than it was to exploit or abuse my grandmother.

You talk a lot about the importance of a woman's duty to her children, but as a dependent woman in a pre-feminist era, my grandmother couldn't even protect her own children. My grandmother had to watch helplessly for years while my grandfather mercilessly beat and abused their sons (including my father). My grandmother could do nothing to protect her own little children, because if she left, she and her children would have been out on the streets.

If I were ever in that situation, I could leave and I could support myself and my children comfortably. I am better positioned to protect myself and my children, because law enforcement takes domestic violence more seriously, divorce is more accepted, I can earn a living on the same basis as a man, and I was raised to believe that I do not need marriage to complete me. These changes are due to feminism, and these changes make me and my children safer as well as freer and happier. It is naive to believe that abusive or exploitative men will be inspired to treat us better if we are dependent.

Pendragon 3

Terry said...

Good post, Anna. I think our society has lionized the idea of having lots of choices. While choice in some areas is great, too many choices can lead to a lot of confusion. For example, it's possible to spend 30 minutes in a drug store just trying to pick the right pain reliever! In fact, they all have the same active ingredients in differnet packaging. It's much the same with feminism. In reality, we have two choices: will we value the world and all it has to offer, or will we forgo all the external trappings of success for the eternal values of home and family? All the rest is just distraction in different packaging. When we try to choose 'it all', our homes and families suffer the most.

Anonymous said...

How many feminists would hate men if they understood that the Bible says your husband is supposed to love and lay down his life for you? If they saw men who did just that?

It is unfair and misleading to say that feminists hate men. Hating the idea of submission to a man is not the same thing as hating men.

This comment also implies that a feminist would be happy to submit to a man if she could be confident that he would really love her and lay down his life for her. But even if every single man was as loving as the Bible commands, most feminists would still not want to submit. Why not? For the same reason that a man can love and trust his wife but still not want to submit to her.

Feminism is about self, me first, my rights, do not follow but be the leader, I want to do this, I want to do that, I don't want too do that, I WON'T do that...

Just like the men who fought the American Revolution and wrote the Bill of Rights! I'm serious. I don't think there is a real difference between what the Founding Fathers did and what the feminists did. They both fought for individual rights, the only difference being that the Founding Fathers fought for the men and the feminists fought for the women. The feminists aren't just a "me, me, me" group, any more than any other civil rights movement. The feminists didn't fight for themselves, they fought for you and me.

And regardless of how much criticism you hear about homemakers, there is nothing to stop you from pursuing that dream, as long as you find a willing partner. Feminists may criticize the choice to become a housewife, but no feminist would ever want you to be stopped against your will from doing it. Before feminism, women WERE stopped against their will from a lot of life choices. Now we do have choices, even if we face a lot of criticism no matter what we do (and I have read a lot of hurtful criticisms of career women on this blog and elsewhere).

Pendragon 3

Jenn V said...

Anna,

Well-said. I find myself so drawn to this subject and have unintentionally been gravitating toward it in my own posts. I would like to share with you something Elisabeth Elliot wrote to her daughter. She was speaking about women ordained as ministers, but it certainly is applicable here: "The universe moves at the command of God, and men and women are at all times under that command, but distinct from robins and lobsters, they have been given the power to disobey. They are capable of doing a great many things they are not supposed to do. The ability to do them is not a command to do them. It is not even permission...it is in obedience to the command that we will find our full freedom."

Blessings,
Jenn

JoAnn said...

That is a very well written post. I have often wondered the same thing. If it's all about women having a 'choice', why is it when we don't choose their way, we are ridiculed and made to feel inferior. That doesn't sound like they want you to have a choice, it sounds like they want you to chose their way or no way. Very sad. Thank you for such a goo post. :)
JoAnn

Brenda said...

Come on, Anna! You are supposed to use your "choice" to NOT choose to be a housewife. You didn't learn the lesson very well. (extreme sarcasm over)

Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years said...

I like your post. I'm soooooo sure of a woman's duty

*gasp* did I say, "duty?"

I'm so sure of my duty to husband, home and children that I don't even need to defend it to nay-sayers.

That's peace.

But *you* keep speaking for the Truth, Anna!

Nice to "meet" you...I can't remember what rabbit trail I used to get here. (:O)

Anna S said...

Mark,

I believe it is entirely the man's duty to provide for his family. Earning bread is the man's curse, not woman's (Genesis 3), whether they have children or not.

Pendragon,

I do encourage you to read my post again. I said, "I'm not blaming feminism for my personal hardships, or saying all of these misfortunes could not have happened without feminism" - but hey, *how* many men sent their women to have abortions before abortion became such an easy choice? How many men took dishonoring a woman so lightly, before we overthrew the protective authority of the father?

I agree with you that some men were probably not acting up to their Biblical role (my own earthly father), but I'd rather have my rights protected by enforcing that role, not overthrowing it. No woman or child would be abused if all men treated their wives as prescribed in the Bible. Now, since we don't live in an ideal world, men who abuse their wives should definitely be taken care of. But it doesn't say anything about the validity of the God-given role of man - leader, provider and protector.

"Feminists may criticize the choice to become a housewife, but no feminist would ever want you to be stopped against your will from doing it."

I doubt it. Yes, some feminists would be respectful of my choice, I know (I'm aware of the fact that not all feminists should be lumped together!). Some (the likes of Linda Hirshman, for example), however, would be only too happy to make it nearly impossible for a woman to remain at home. For her own good. *sarcasm intended*

Kyla said...

The women in my family have always stayed home or earned a lower income than their husbands. I don't, I earn more money and I have a career not just a job. So I do get questioned about my decisions because they are out of the realm of knowledge for those in my life. But I don't feel that I have to defend myself.

I read on these blogs all the time about how SAHW & SAHM are made to feel infeior but I can't find any blogs tearing down your decisions or choices. But it doens't take long to find a blog that points out how unbibilical and wrong I am for having a career and a home.

So I guess until women start respecting each other and looking past the SAHM or the working woman titles than we will all be defending our choices.

Anna S said...

Kyla, there are more than enough blogs and websites that criticize, bash and belittle home-focused women; don't ask me for links though, because even though I run into them from time to time, I don't bother to read them - I face enough criticizm in real life.

Anonymous said...

Pendragon,
I grew up in a situation where my father was abusive, to my mom, she did not leave and they got married in the sixties, right around the time for the feminist "revolution" so your belief feminism somehow freed her to choose differently is flawed, women don't leave abusive situations because there is no money or no where to go if they leave, they don't leave because they have been taught to feel worthless by thier abuser,how has feminism helped solve that? My church sometimes helps the women's shelter (one of the 1st in the nation)and the reasons they say they get for women not leaving abuse is the same as 70 years ago, "I would be out on the street" how has feminism solved this problem? it hasn't. The problem in these situations now and then was that the CHURCH did not step up and do it's role, to help these women and children, church members rarely (I'm generalizing)want to get out of thier comfort zones and deal with the messy issues of life, I feel if they did (as a whole) there would be less abuse and less abortions. Also the revolutionary "fathers" did not vote to overthrow England just for men. Entire families where being harmed by the laws of England, people couldn't feed themselves, pay their bills, or live decent lives because of the taxes and laws of England. If you read the history of these men you would find that they greatly respected and admired and yes even loved thier wives, counseled with them and held thier ideas and opinions is great esteem,and thus helped shaped America, all BEFORE the feminist "revolution"

Anonymous said...

Hi Anna, very well said! You have a great perspective on things. I'm 38 and live in the US. I really think many of my generation were raised to believe that unless you had that great career you had failed in life and wasted your potential. It has taken me a long time to throw off that feeling. I do work, but it is just a job and my primary focus is my family. How much better still if all of us working ladies could stay home! There are several of us who talk about that wistfully on our breaks. If only women were considered "good enough" here for just being great wives and homemakers! Feminism has done us no favors. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Pendragon 3 :It is unfair and misleading to say that feminists hate men.

Let's see...

"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honourable and viable political act..." - Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor

"In a patriarchal society, all heterosexual intercourse is rape..." - Catharine MacKinnon

"Marriage . . . is a legal license to rape." -- Andrea Dworkin

"I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig" - Andrea Dworkin

"If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males" - Mary Daly

"We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men" - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

"I have always been principally interested in men for sex. I've always thought any sane woman would be a lover of women because loving men is such a mess. I have always wished I'd fall in love with a woman. Damn." - Germaine Greer

"[M]ost mother-women give up whatever ghost of a unique and human self they may have when they 'marry' and raise children." -Phyllis Chesler

No wonder feminism is associated with man-hating. Even though all feminists claim that they do respect men, every mainstream feminist has spewed hatred against men, marriage, family and motherhood. The dictionary meaning of feminism and what exists in the real world are totally different. The reason why feminism is not taken seriously is because the movement never had a leader like Mahatma Gandhi.

-----

Kyla : I read on these blogs all the time about how SAHW & SAHM are made to feel infeior but I can't find any blogs tearing down your decisions or choices.

Every time a woman chooses to stay home or leave her career, feminists feel rejected and hurt, because they feel that these women have 'betrayed the sisterhood', or have been 'brainwashed by the patriarchy' and are ungrateful to the feminists who 'fought for them.' By choosing marriage and family over career, a woman is choosing a life where the man and the woman have different/'unequal' roles to fulfill - which is 'un-feminist', and hence the feminists, though not all of them, will condemn this. At the same time, no feminist will ever encourage this.

-----

Anonymous : ...how has feminism helped solve that?
Feminism is not here to find solutions, feminism is here to find problems - and thus justify its own existence.

Michelle said...

Wonderful post Anna! I tell ya because of the end result of feminism which stemmed from the founding feminists, I'd rather not have the "right" to vote or be equal with men. Yep, I actually disagree with sufferage - because it displayed an ungodly discontentment and the end result (no matter how far the intent has strayed from the original)was something very evil. It started a chain reaction of dominoes that have not put us women in a good position. I'm sick of being asked if I work. YES I WORK! What do you think I do all day in the home? I'd give anything to live in a society where women were cared for and felt their worth - but realized they were not equal and were happy with that...
Good post

Mrs. Brigham said...

Wonderful post as usual, Anna!

"how a bright young girl, who was obviously given so many options by feminism, can so totally and wholeheartedly reject it?"
Because our wonderful Heavenly Father has blessed you with both wisdom and free will to make decisions for yourself, including the one He so desires us all to make- serving Him and submitting ourselves to the callings He has given us for each of our lives.

Feminism has given us *nothing* "good" as only our Creator can give us things that are good, pure, and right. Goodness and "rights" do not come from man, neither does knowledge, wisdom, or good ol' common sense. The world can certainly give us evil, bad things, and knock us off the right path, but it can never bring up goodness or true happiness, fulfillment, and liberty.

Anonymous said...

Kyla : They fought to end prostitution and pornography.

Have you heard of Slut feminism or Sex-positive feminism ? How can both anti-pornography feminism and sex-positive feminism be justified using feminist theory ?

Thats why I am so glad that there are organizations like Feminists for Life and women like Elizabeth Vargas are standing up for putting your children before your career.

Same goes for pro-life and pro-choice feminists. All of them claim to be 'true feminists'!

-----

Feminists were the ones who felt women were being oppressed by the patriarchy and encouraged women to go out and have sex like a man...the sexual liberation of the 60s-70s - we have sexualized the society so much that chastity has no value...and now feminists are complaining that women are being treated as sex-objects and hence being oppressed by the patriarchy.
So, again, they found problems with society, but no solutions.

kyla said...

I have read all of the man hating quotes before and I can obviously not speak for an entire movement. In fact while I do consider myself a feminist, before any other label I am a Christian and therefore my thoughts and ideas are motivated by my faith and beliefs and will not coincide with a secular viewpoint. So to say that all feminists are marxists is not an accurate label.

Anna S said...

Kyla, as a general statement, feminism is rooted in Marxism. There's no escape from that.

Cyndi Lewis said...

It is so sad to see women who think having a "choice" is so good. What is a choice but a "do your own thing" move rather then submitting to God and letting him lead in your life. I don't think it is wrong to have a "career" if God has indeed called you to that. And if he has indeed called you to that then he will open the doors for you feminism or not. But I wonder how many women, if they really and truely submitted to the will of God, would find themselves working outside the home. We need to kneel before God and follow him and not just each other.

Anonymous said...

Great post Anna. I agree with alot of what you say. Feminism has gone overboard and done more harm than good for the family. However, I must say that you need to be careful about your opinions of infertility. I am not able to have biological children and yes it's partly because I "waited" until my 30's to have children. That's because I waited to have sex until I was married and did not meet my mate and marry until 33. It was in no way because of taking the pill too long or putting a career first. It was because I was following God's command to be pure. I have alot of Christian friends in the same boat as me - it has not been our choice to wait.

Karen said...

Anonymous,

Hmm...well if feminists have a problem with submitting to a man, even a good man who truly loves them, then that just proves how unbiblical the philosophy is, no? I don't know about you, but the Lord's views are more important to me than any person's, man or woman. The Bible plainly says women are to submit to their husbands. As for feminists hating men, I have plenty of experience with many who do, and there was a very popular book by a feminist about a world where women ruled and men had to live underground and were good for nothing but breeding. You can say that is far-out, but like I said it's a VERY popular book among feminists.

Michelle,

I am disturbed that you say that women thought they were unequal and were okay with that. Having a different role doesn't make you less worthy. We are all of equal worth in God's sight.

Jenny said...

There is a very insightful article on the LAF website entitled "You Don't Know Feminism"

http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/LAF_Theme_Articles_13/You_Don_t_Know_Feminism_744100744.shtml (Sorry, I don't know how to embed,)

and it has some quotes going back to the beginings of feminism... which unfortunately, debunk the thoery that it was soley for helping the abused and downtrodden. And the notion that it was only in the 6o's that it became something nasty... for example,

"Housewives [are] an endless array of 'horse-leech's' daughters, crying Give! Give! -- [a] parasite mate devouring even when she should most feed [and who has] the aspirations of an affectionate guinea pig." ~ Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Women and Economics: A Study of the Economic Relations Between Men and Women as a Factor in Social Evolution, 1898.

and

"A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism...the [housewife's] labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable.... [W]oman's work within the home [is] not directly useful to society, produces nothing. [The housewife] is subordinate, secondary, parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a 'career' for woman." ~ Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949.

The whole article is very well (and graciously) written, and I especially like this paragraph...

"Feminism isn't the answer. It never was. Occasionally it has pointed out real evils. Every now and again it has done noble things. But, on the whole, it is built upon a foundation of radicalism that hurts the very women it claims to want to help. This doesn't mean every feminist is an evil man-hater. We've never painted feminists with that broad brush. But it would behoove those who want to claim the title of "feminist" to look carefully into the history of a movement that has done real damage to women and families in the name of "equality." It also wouldn't hurt to consider that the woman who chooses to reject feminism and remain at home is not a mindless doormat who has been robbed of her "core of self." "

Anna S said...

"However, I must say that you need to be careful about your opinions of infertility. I am not able to have biological children and yes it's partly because I "waited" until my 30's to have children. That's because I waited to have sex until I was married and did not meet my mate and marry until 33."

Dear anonymous lady, I do hope you understand I didn't mean women such as yourself, whom I admire for their commitment to purity. If I were to remain single until I'm 45, I would probably remain childless as well, because sex without being married is out of the question for me.

However, the *majority* of women who start having children when they are 35+ don't do it because of religious reasons, but because of career or just 'wanting to have fun'. I do hope it was clear that's what I meant, not women who don't have children because they surrendered themselves to the will of God and God didn't call them to marriage until later in life.

Karen,

Well said!

Michelle,

I've read that article - good stuff! Actually I used some quotes from there in one of my posts about feminism a while ago. It was called "feminism vs. women's rights", and you can find it if you do a search on this blog.

Anna S said...

Thanks to anonymous for sending the great link I now added to this post! By the way, I'd love it if you signed your name sometime, but of course don't feel like you have to do that! :)

Kris said...

Hi Anna. I recently started blogging, and the experience has introduced me to several ways of thinking that were fairly foreign to me before. I like your blog, and would like to pose two quick questions, for discussion and rumination. I'm curious about your views (and the views of other commentors) on the matters.

1. Many non-feminists find solace and self-worth in marriage and family (which is great - no problems there), but what happens if that person never marries? Do you believe she'll feel that she missed out? What goals should she have, then?

2. Globally, it seems that societies which don't allow women to work, become educated, etc., are worse off in many ways. How can this be explained?

Thanks again for your blogging. It's educational, and I appreciate the variety of views.

Anna S said...

Hi Kris, and thank you for visiting.

To your first question: I'm a single young woman, but I wouldn't say my 'goal' is marriage. What I'm working for, and praying for, is an opportunity to serve God and surrender my life to Him. If He wants me to serve Him through marriage and motherhood, I'll gladly do that. I admit I want it very much, but eventually what will matter is how I serve God. If He wanted me to serve Him in another manner, I have no doubt He would provide an opportunity for a joyful and meaningful life as a single.

As to your second question, I must say I'm a little confused. First, I'm not sure which societies you mean, and what you mean by 'worse off'.

Women have *always* worked - in their natural God-given realm, home, caring for their husbands and teaching their children. To do that, women obviously can't be brainless ornaments. Women must be well educated!

For more thoughts on women's education, I encourage you to browse my FAQs section and 'Education and training' category.

Kris said...

Hi again, Anna. You're right, my second question was very vague, and I apologize for that.

I had certain Mid-East cultures in mind - not necessarily extraordinarily repressive ones like pre-2000 Afghanistan, but other strict Islamic societies where women aren't encouraged (or allowed, in some cases) to work, learn, drive a car, or even leave the home without a man's accompaniment. These nations seem worse off politically and economically than ones where women are encouraged to work.

"Do you think a feminist movement might benefit these women, as well as their home countries?" might have been a much better question.

Thanks again, and I look forward to reading your thoughts.

Anna S said...

Kris,

I must tell you right away that I know very little about Islam and its attitude towards women.

But I'm certain that feminism, which is a rejection of God and His plan for women, can never bring anyone any good. The only way to *truly* enhance women and their happiness, in my eyes, is to enforce the Biblical roles and make sure all husbands treat their wives like God commands. Simple crying 'revolution!' and overthrowing the husband's and father's authority won't do the trick.

As for being better off economically, which are the countries where people tend to accumulate debt most often?.. Precisely the two-income ones!

Krystyna said...

Anna, I've been reading your blog for a while, because American Christianity and its position on women is very interesting to me as a European atheist feminist, and because despite my differing opinions your writing is very enjoyable.

Obviously, I have a diametrically opposite outlook. I realize that as I don't regard the Bible as a source of authority, there is no way that we can agree on anything (or at least on many things). I don't really know if there is any point in me writing anything, as neither you can convince me that the Bible is right about gender roles, nor can I convince you that
it is wrong. But the debate here is so diverse and respectful that I gave in to the temptation of writing something, even if I'm not very coherent :)

While you are bitter about feminism, I'm bitter about Christianity (generalisation, but basically true).

If it weren't for Christianity, I wouldn't be facing the problems I am today: how to create a partnership based on equal division of home, work and relationship upkeep responsibility in a culture where work is seen as the domain of the man, while home and relationship as that of the woman.
And the consequences of the belief that I have less right to be in the public sphere than a man has. Or the belief I should submit to men (even if only my husband).

Though I'm very glad of the options that were brought to me by feminism, I don't believe we've gone far enough yet.

I'm very sorry for the things you perceive to be caused by feminism. I don't think they're part of an ideal feminist world.

There, a father would accept responsibility for an unborn child, even if unwanted, even if his relationship with the mother dissolved. And in that ideal world (I apologise if this is very indelicate), he would not be calling for an abortion because of the availability of anticonception. Both marriage and family would be seen as normal (although so would a carreer for women and cohabitation).

Unfortunately, we don't live in any kind of ideal world - neither Biblical nor feminist. I would like my career to be uninhibited by prejudice from sexists, you would like the right to be at home, and for people to respect you in that role. At the moment, both are impossible.
I wish you good luck in your endevours, and I hope you keep writing!

To the people who quoted "man hating feminists" - most of those statements are indefensible. But almost all movements have dark sides, including Christianity. While I don't know American culture well enough to remember the examples I have heard, in my home country, Poland, there are plenty (eg father Tadeusz Rydzyk, infamous for his jewbaiting).

Of the defensible statments - Andrea Dworkin's assertion that
"Marriage . . . is a legal license to rape." was, in some places is actually true - only recently has rape within marriage been recognised as rape. I could also go into McKinnon's statement about heterosexual intercourse, but the theory behind it involves a lot of unpleasantness (including the sexualization of women present in Western society that both some Christians like LAF and some feminists speak out against). If anyone is curious I can go into detail in email.

Anna S said...

Krystyna,

Thank you for taking the time to write and make your point; I appreciate your respectfulness!

I do, however, encourage you to contact me by email (celena_costello@hotmail.com), because you obviously have some very crucial misconceptions about my position, which I can't discuss in a comment thread. I would have contacted you myself but have no means to do so.

College Gal said...

Great post Anna!!! God bless you!!

Jessica S. said...

Dear Anna,

It's encouraging to read your thoughts and desires concerning homemaking and wanting to serve our future husband/family to the glory of God. Please keep up your wonderful blog. May our wonderful Lord continue to bless you.

Jessica

Martha said...

I just love this post!!!
I have my own (similar) opinions. Basically, I feel that it has just been a force to drive the consumer society we live in. Two incomes so we can have more/more expensive "stuff". And everyone is way too busy and therefore often rude these days. Cheers for traditional roles!!!

Kris said...

Thank you for replying to my post, Anna. Even if our views may not mesh, I really appreciate the time you took to answer the questions, and look forward to good exchanges in the future. I'll keep reading :)

Leigh said...

Hi Anna,

God works in mysterious ways. Your post was exactly what I needed to read! It really helps to lift me up when I read from someone who shares a similar ideal especially on this topic. It is easy to become discourages when we are bombarded by concepts and pictures about why feminism is so great. Which in my opinion, it is anything but great.

Keep up the good work!

God Bless,
Leigh

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I forgot about this thread, but I wanted to just say that I have finally come back and read all the comments in response to my couple of posts. Thank you for all of your responses.

I obviously disagree with a lot of the responses, including some of the quotations that are supposedly "man-hating." I DO agree that a belief in the Bible's literal truth and rightness is incompatible with feminism.

Pendragon 3

UltraCrepidarian said...

I am sorry that your dad wasn't what a man should have been.

I see in Feminism a kind of retaliatory character; Feminism seems to be a broken response to men's broken-ness.

The abdication of men of responsibility in our society is not purely, it might not even be primarily the "fault" of feminism, but neither has feminism done as much good as its advocates would have us believe, and it has done grievous harm. The worst thing it has done is promote abortion, and a contraceptive mentality, and undermined a woman's inherent value, replacing it with something she has to earn; it evaluates her by her position in the world, her scholarly education, and her financial power, and her indepedance from a man, rather than her ability to love, to produce and nurture life, and to be the living center, the heart of family life.

Women ought to have men in their lives they can depend on to be morally upright, unselfish, and basically good. That so many women have learned from bitter experience that they can count on a man for nothing, except to take what he wants and then leave when it suits him, seems at least part of the reason to me, for the rise of Feminism as a movement.

W

Anonymous said...

First of all, I love your blog. However, I must confess I don't fully understand why you should be "against feminism". Broken family units are not to be blamed on feminism. A lot of single mothers have always existed (as a result of abuse or simply occasional encounters or failed relationships) and a lot of men have always neglected their family duties. Maybe that fact was not addressed because there was social taboo surrounding it, but many women had to suffer from lack of acknowledgement and prestige, often none of it being their fault. Feminism talked about it and demanded that these more or less unfortunate women (and all women, in general) were awarded their full human, social and economic rights.

Regarding other aspect of feminism you mention sometimes: not all feminism advocates promiscuity, revealing clothes, etc. There's a whole wave of so-called "anti-sex" (I disagree with that label) feminism that calls for a recognition of different sexual needs between men and women, the banning of pornography and prostitution and the need for women to establish emotional connection and intimacy BEFORE sex. You will probably disagree with many things "anti-sex" feminists say, but there are points in common, too.

Take care and again, your blog is insightful and wonderfully written.

Seraphim said...

I only just found your blog today, but it has made extremely interesting reading for me.

I consider myself to be a feminist, because I believe that we were given free will for a reason; to have choices, and be able to act upon them. Therefore I think that all women have the choice to live their lives how they please. However - despite considering myself to be a feminist - I would say that on most other points, I agree with you. I had choices growing up, but my choice was to be at home as much as I could. I respect the choice of other women to do as they wish also, but I find that many feminists do not respect my decision. Modern feminism seems to be built on a root of radicalism which makes me uncomfortable.
My other main issue with feminism (though as I said, I agree with the priciple of choice), is that in a modern society women are expected to be the same as men, to a degree. I think this is wrong.
We are all equal, certainly - but we are also different; physically, emotionally and spiritually. A woman is NOT the same as a man.
The difference is in the definition of those words - 'equal', and 'the same'.

I apologise for my long babble! It was just very pleasant to find a blog that seemed to have respect for my views rather than belittle them.

Keep blogging!

Santana Vitales (Hey That's Me!) said...

i agree.. Womanhood is a sacred calling and there is nothing wrong with embracing it.
Feminism runied it
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