Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Abortions and illegitimacy

Last week, a reader sent me a link to a great article that explores the connection between abortion and illegitimacy. It's no secret that the rates of illegitimacy have skyrocketed since abortions became commonly widespread. But have we really stopped to ask ourselves why? If abortion was supposed to solve the problem of inconvenient pregnancies and "unwanted" children, how come we have a whole fatherless generation?

"With abortion seen as a backup, women as well as men became less careful in using contraceptives as well as more likely to have premarital sex. There were more unplanned pregnancies. But legal abortion did not mean every unplanned pregnancy led to abortion. After all, just because abortion is legal, does not mean that the decision is an easy one."

"With legalization and women not forced to go through with an unplanned pregnancy, a man might well expect his partner to have an abortion if a sexual encounter results in an unplanned pregnancy. But what happens if the woman refuses? Maybe she is morally opposed to abortion; or perhaps she thought she could have an abortion, but upon becoming pregnant, she decides that she can't go through with it. What happens then?

Many men, feeling tricked into unwanted fatherhood, will likely wash their hands of the affair altogether, thinking, "I never wanted a baby. It's her choice, so let her raise the baby herself." What is expected of men in this position has changed dramatically in the last four decades. The evidence shows that the greater availability of abortion largely ended "shotgun" marriages, where men felt obligated to marrying the woman."

And the result?

"Children born after liberalized abortion rules have suffered a series of problems, from problems at school to more crime. The saddest fact is that it is the most vulnerable in society, poor blacks, who have suffered the most from these changes.
Liberalized abortion might have made life easier for many, but like sex itself sometimes, it has had many unintended consequences."

Read the entire article here .

32 comments:

Karen said...

That is true, unfortunately. I know of more than one woman has told me the father washed his hands of the baby since she "could've had an abortion." They may have offered to pay for the abortion, but they sure didn't send one cent after the child was born. I'm just not sure if you'd want someone like that in a child's life anyway. I can personally tell you of one father like that who came back into his child's life later on only to be abusive to her and basically rob her of a childhood.

I think men like that should have to pay child support, but not get visitation. They don't deserve it.

Terry said...

Thank you Anna for spreading the truth. And yes, this article is correct. The illegitimacy rate in the urban(Black) community is somewhere between 66 and 70%, depending on whose statistics you believe. Either way, it's appalling! And I thought legalized abortion was supposed to spare unwanted children the horror of being born and raised by people who didn't want them and couldn't provide for them. Another lie exposed, yet our society continues to put its head in the sand. How sad. Thanks for sharing this sobering information.

Adlyn said...

it's true about how african-americans were hit the most with abortions and fatherless children. As an african-american I can testify. Abortion is the number one killer of african-americans and I too have no father (though I know and where he is). Also, about most men expecting the woman to get an abortion my abusive father wanted a abortion with me (after my mom had my sister). Because of my mother religious stance on life she decided not to abort me and here I am 16 years later. Anna you are such an inpiration to me. Though I'm not of marring age, you make me feel a lot better knowing that is also a young woman out their who wants to wants to be a homemaker. (p.s right now I learning to become a homemaker. I've learn how to sew a purse and right now making a 1950's type skirt after that I'll learn how to cook and such. When I'm older I'll take a course in homemaking in community college... you give me strength)

Maggie said...

Anna,

Again I think that this a difference between our cultures. Here in Canada abortions are covered under our Health Care plan, so the notion of paying for one seems just odd to me.

However, that being said, it's not as easy as walking into a doctor's office and requesting one. From what people have told me, where I live, abortions are done only 1 day a week at the same place that women have to go for D&C (the procedure after a miscarriage) and they all wait in a hospital hallway and everyone there knows why you're there. It is not the most pleasant experience and can have scaring emotional affects.

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes....."every child a wanted child". And photos of bent-out-of-shape coat hangers, with the words "never again". Legal abortion was supposed to create such a beautiful existence for any children born, & eradicate the horrors of the back-alley type of abortion. Has it done either?

A dear friend of mine is raising 3 children herself, & is to the point of exhaustion. She thought the father might step up to the plate, so to speak, & marry her but he wants nothing to do with her. I don't know that she ever considered abortion, or if her boyfriend ever pressured her about it. It seems to me he just did not care one way or another, because it was "her choice".

A note of encouragement to Adlyn: it was very touching to read what you wrote. I hope & pray that you will continue to follow God's leading. When I read of young people like you I am filled with such hope for our future. I will ask God to help you stay on a good path, to remain pure until marriage, & that you can influence other girls your age around you to set their sights on a similar goal.

thanks, Anna, for this post-
Brenda

Adlyn said...

Dear Brenda,
Thanks you, those words are very satifying. Moreover, I glad there are people like you that understand me. It's so hard to continue learning how to become a homemaker when society tells (more like screams), at you to have a career and have children at the age of thirty. Unfortunatly for the feminists, I will continue to study how to become a homemaker. Also, thank you for your thoughts and prayers... you too give me strength.

xoxoxo,
Adlyn

tales_from_the_crib said...

my gramma was told by my (biological only) grampa to have an abortion, because then they (him and gramma)could stay in the cheaper married student housing. fortunately she said no, otherwise my mom would never've been born.

Gothelittle Rose said...

Even in the most private and easy-to-obtain areas, an abortion is scary and mentally scarring. If the atmosphere in that Canadian place puts some women off doing it, so much the better! Let the nasty face show clearly, and maybe people will flee before they become entrapped.

I was not aborted, and neither parent ever considered it as an option, although I was born a few years after Roe vs. Wade. My father married my mother in something similar to a shotgun wedding (only nobody had to force him, he did it out of nobility) and they are still together with four more after me.

But I was conceived, as I might have said here before, by a young college-bound woman just out of highschool and a Navy sailor four and a half years her senior.

I love my parents, my family, and my life. No parental abuse, no abandonment, and I know I'm lucky!

Kaeus said...

out of curiousity, is legitimacy still 'a big deal' in the states? are illegitimate children looked upon differently than those in a two-parent family?

despite having divorced my father some years before my birth (they got back together but never remarried), my mother listed on my birth certificate (and my sisters a few years later) that she and my father were married, because she didnt want us to have the stigma of unmarried parents. that was 25 years ago though.. there doesnt seem to be such a stigma now. i guess because its so common.

Anna S said...

Adlyn, here's a message for you from Mrs. Tracy A. Franklin:

"Hello Anna,
I was wondering if you could direct the young lady Adlyn my site or give her my email. I have a heart for our young black women. We get VERY little support in the quest for being a homemaker and I feel a tug towards her that must be God led!

Thank you!
Mrs. Tracy A. Franklin"

http://southernmatron.blogspot.com/

Maggie said...

gothelittle rose:

I think, from what people have told me, is that because they were there for a D&C, which are only done the same day as abortions at our local hospital, that people assumed that they were there for an abortion and not a D&C.

Either way, whether you are there for an abortion or a D&C, having to wait out in the hospital hallway and not even in a private waiting room is wrong. These women, no matter what their situation is, are going through a tough time and need to have some privacy. They don't need their business to be known to every tom dick and harry who passes them in the hallway.

Robin said...

"out of curiousity, is legitimacy still 'a big deal' in the states? are illegitimate children looked upon differently than those in a two-parent family?"


Not really. At least not from my generation down (I'm 41). There's the sort of "plank in the eye" thought about it, I think. We all make mistakes, and children shouldn't take the brunt of adult mistakes.

I was flipping through Bride magazine recently, and there was a section on maternity wedding gowns. I kind of remember a time when you were kind of ashamed to be a pregnant bride, but not anymore. There's a pretty dress for them, too.

That article made me really think about the necessity for abortion. My best friend in high school had one in 1983. She did it because she was ashamed to admit to her parents that she was having sex. I don't think the child, wanted or unwanted, factored into the decision. I tried to talk her into adoption (a great avenue for unwanted children), but she refused. I can attest that her parents would have been disappointed, but she certainly would not have been mistreated in any way. Kind of blows that argument out of the water.

Katie said...

Adlyn,
You said, when you get to community college you'll take a course in homemaking. That makes me register a mental exclamation point on several fronts, not the least of which is that such a thing is available. You'll find plenty of support (and, true, antagonism) online- but go on doing the right thing!

Persuaded said...

Wow...once again words that need to be said! Once the decision of whether to continue in a pregnancy becomes "a woman's right to choose," the male is absolved of all responsibility. Babies are fatherless, women are stretched beyond their capacity. When will our society see the damage that feminism has caused?

And I also want to send out a ((hug)) to Adlyn. I am a single mom and have three young women as my daughters..they all aspire to be homemakers, but it is hard when you don't have the "traditional" family behind you, I know. I will be praying for you sweetie, and if I can support you in any other way at all- let me know!

Zeljka said...

Very good text. Couldn't agree more. Zeljka from Croatia

Buffy said...

Well you have raised an interesting issue: if illegitimacy is no longer considered a terrible thing why do so many women still have abortions?

My grandmother had two sisters who fell pregnant but were not married (this would be in the 1930s). Neither of them had illegan abortions (although I dare say that a lot of women in their situation would have done so). One of them had a 'shotgun marriage' although it was later suspected she had trapped a man who was not the father into marrying her, because presumably the man who was the father was not interested. The marriage was a huge disaster and resulted in terrible emotional and physical damage to the children.

The other sister could not get the man responsible to marry her but chose to raise her daughter with her mother's help. This was obviously, in many ways, a huge burden and a struggle, not least for the little girl who knew early on that she was a 'bastard' (yes, people used those names to children then).

Clearly this situation is not something we want to go back to. And yet we also don't want abortions to become the answer either.

I don't think we should go back to the days of punishing unmarried women with children (and the children too by implication) for making the brave choice of raising their child alone.

We need to find out what is driving those women who are having abortions, and I know this is something you are examining here on your blog, Anna.

Adlyn said...

Thanks for the website anna/Mrs.Tracy I will most certainly visit it.

xoxoxo,
Adlyn

Adlyn said...

Dear Katie,
"That makes me register a mental exclamation point on several fronts" what's that supposed to mean? are you trying to say that I'm unstable for wanting to become a stay-at-home wife/mother, bear children, and submit to my husband? and by the way katie what gives you the right to call someone mentally unstable? another thing katie what is mentally stable to you (like you have the right to tell someone their insane)? partying like paris hilton untill 3:00 am, "hooking up" with random men, dressing like a call-girl, getting abortions, and getting a stupid piece a paper with three letters after my name? and then what do I do? start a career and when I done clocking in at my high-price (but empty) job come home stressed to an empty ampartment in New York with no one to greet me but the cat! and live out my days alone because "I don't need a man?"
Katie, thanks for your two cents, here are mine...with interest.

MrsFranklin said...

Dear Adlyn,

I dont think thats what she meant. I think she was just surprised at the fact that a community college would even offer courses in homemaking.

I dont think its remark directed at your mental state sweetie!

God Bless

Adlyn said...

I don't mean to make excuses but I thought that what she meant (I get called crazy alot along with dumb, stupid, mental, a waste, freak, loser, traitor ect. not to mention the dirty/pity looks and eyerolls) and she sounds like my sister who ironically is named katie. I'm sorry I guess I just snaped.

xoxoxo,
Adlyn

Adlyn said...

Sorry katie I guess I misunderstood your comment.

xoxoxo,
adlyn

MrsFranklin said...

Adlyn,

Please come by and visit my site, I wrote something there for you in mind!

Anonymous said...

Buffy : We need to find out what is driving those women who are having abortions

Please read : Reasons given for having abortions in the United States

Shannon & Richard said...

Here's a thought - what are we in the US teaching our sons? It seems that society has changed to the point where the woman is seen as the center, the pillar of the family. Men can come and go, but women stay and raise the children. Why aren't men ashamed when they leave their kids? Why do men pursue the 'hot' girl and not the 'competent, helpful' girl? Because they aren't interested in a wife, just a sexual partner. It seems to me that men and women don't want to work together anymore to raise a family. Sex is not the sole point of a committed relationship. Yet many young people don't believe this.

Bill Cosby has recently been on a lot of talk shows taking about the responsibility of black men to shoulder fatherhood. I haven't read it yet, but his book "Come on People" looks good. His thoughts on the status of the black family are very provocative, and in line with the discussion here.

Shan

Buffy said...

Thanks for the link Anonymous.

MrsFranklin said...

Its not a black men thing. Its a "man thing". I love Bill Cosby. He speaks about a situation that he knows about. After all, he has a daughter out of wedlock (while married, if I'm not mistaken) BUT lets put the light on the situation correctly. American men in general will tun their backs on their own children for all manner of stupid reasons. My girlfriend is a "*&%" I've already GOT kids and baby mama drama, etc...

When I watched talk shows, I found that it was pretty much an equal balance of ignorant, irresponsible "men" who claimed NOT to be the father of so and so's baby. They were white, black and latino.

What I've noticed is that rich white men are having children out of wedlock but its not broadcasted widely because they can financially support their offspring. HOWEVER, they are STILL producing children out of wedlock.

Personally, I think its the responsibility of BOTH. But ESPECIALLY the woman. WHY? Because she can say no (I'm not talking about rape or molestation, I'm talking being of consenting age AND consenting)

We know whats going on in the world. For the most part, we are not sheltered, we read the papers, magazines and internet, we watch the news, talk shows and movies. We have friends and family. We KNOW what's going on because its obvious. YET we go out and "hook up" and make babies with men who are not our husbands and much more, when the thros of lust wear off, with men who, if we were thinking straight, would have been the LAST man we would have chosen to speak with, much less mate with!

We pass around the neighborhood "dawg" like its cool. I mean, the boy who walked all over your best friend, humiliated her, had sex with her and dogged her, THATS who WE want! No self-resect! Why do we think we can keep a jerk from being a jerk? I'll tell you why, because of our own vanity. We think that by "taking" some other girls "man" we are proving how much more of a "woman" we are! Okay, so we "won" but really, is there a consolation prize?

Why would we want to be in a "relationship" with someone who has not made his intentions secret? Stupid.

Then we have sex, get pregnant, KNOWING that he has 3 other children by THREE other girls and he's not taking care of them AND denying he's the father! "Oh, but I LOOOVVVVEEEE him!"

And here's an even sadder point. Afer we're out of a relationship with him (because he dumped us and found fresh meat), we jump RIGHT BACK INTO STUPID with ANOTHER jerk, only to produce ANOTHER baby!

Ladies, lets be serious, we cant raise men, MEN, REAL men, raise men. We are responsible for what only one woman can teach to another.

Keep your eyes on God, Your heart in your parents hands, your head high and your legs closed.

MrsFranklin said...

I also meant to say that as mothers we have the responsibility of teaching our sons how we are to be treated. If we dont allow back talking, disrespect, indifference, etc, then they wont think twice about showing it to another female. There ARE things we CAN teach them, but the deeper meaning should be taught by a godly man. What we do teach them will be reflected in their relationship with future spouses, and it will be bred into them BUT it stil takes a man to teach a man!

Buffy said...

Sorry, but I have to take exception to this statement:

Personally, I think its the responsibility of BOTH. But ESPECIALLY the woman. WHY? Because she can say no..

And the man can't say no?????? Until both sexes take equal responsiblity for producing children (or not producing children) we are not going to move forward.

Anonymous said...

'Shannon & Richard', MrsFranklin :
Today's young men and women are confused - women may wish to stay home and raise their kids, but the feminists push for independence and careers, and even some men who have bought into feminism want their wives to work; on the other hand, if a man decides to be stand up and be responsible for his wife and children, he is termed oppressive and the wife's submission is mocked.

For young college-goers, there aren't enough positive role models, the feminized public school system is failing the boys, and hence more than 60% of the degree-holders are women. Women are asked to go out and 'hook-up', the media, TV, magazines promote promiscuity as sexual empowerment of women - marriage and family is no longer a priority for men and women.

Regarding marriage and divorce : In this age of no-fault divorce, almost 50% of the marriages end in divorce, with more than 70% of divorces filed by women, and women get custody in majority of the cases - while there are a lot of men who fail to pay support, there are also women who use visitation rights to blackmail the men. And single motherhood by choice is now a valid lifestyle option, with books like this and this, and articles like this, biological fathers are slowly being pushed out of the traditional family.

Why do we think we can keep a jerk from being a jerk?
Because women are addicted to them and think that nice guys are boring, just like some men pursue 'hot' girls and not the 'competent, helpful' girls.

Until both sexes take equal responsibility for producing children (or not producing children) we are not going to move forward.
That is the curse of abortion-rights. Abortion has become the ultimate form of birth control - for men and for women.

MrsFranklin said...

They both can and each are ultimately responsible for their choices. What I'm saying is that in such a "progressive" and promiscuous society as we have, the woman ultimately knows that when she is in a unhealthy relationship, she cant expect him to be what he's suppose to be. Because we KNOW that the baby will be left with the mother (in most cases) she has to take EXTRA responsiblity.

Gothelittle Rose said...

You can take exception to the statement, I won't mind. :) But historically women have used the promise of sex as power to bring responsibility to bear on the man. Historically, the man knew that he must straighten up his life, keep a good job, live cleanly, etc. in order to attract a wife.

A lot of what's gone wrong in this country has to do with enticing women, and that's for a very good reason. Masculinity and femininity call to each other and bring out each other more strongly. Men turn masculine as a response to women's femininity, and women turn feminine as a response to men's masculinity.

I'm going to do as C.S. Lewis and 'think like a devil' for a moment. Men are very strong, and trying to attack their ideals head-on is like smashing your head into a brick wall. Some can be weakened with various tricks, but that doesn't damage nearly enough of the population. The trick is the woman. The man is as strong as the woman is upright. So you entice her out from under cover and attack her instead. You have to be a little more subtle, but a few relatively simple charms work on the majority of women, and you can bring down more of them with less effort.

Once the woman goes down, the man's main support is taken away. The feminine-masculine iron-sharpens-iron beauty that Satan hates so much is interrupted, and you can break up a lot more families.

What's my point? The man can say no, and he will have to face God on his choice to be sure. But a lot of what's wrong with society has more to do with the women abandoning their posts than the men abandoning theirs. Chivalry is still hanging on stubbornly in many places, though strong men protecting women and children have been replaced with bewildered men being screamed at for wanting to protect women and children and doing it anyways. God bless them.

Sober women strengthen the impetus of men to live responsible lives more than any other factor, because that's what femininity is FOR. Keep your modesty as a wall around your garden, and don't let anyone inside who hasn't promised before God and man to be responsible for you for life!

Anonymous said...

Shannon & Richard : Men can come and go, but women stay and raise the children.

Related : Multi-dadding