In today's post, we will start to examine a question most dedicated daughters in an unsupportive family eventually struggle with: "my parents want me to work. My father doesn't see himself responsible for me. That's unfortunate, but what do I do?"
I think it's very important to understand that in the vast majority of cases, the parents' disagreement with their daughter's home-focused direction isn't rooted in their wanting to make her miserable. Parents generally want the best for their children. But if you are a young lady in your teens or twenties, it means your parents probably belong to a generation which received a strong dose of feminism as a part of their upbringing in the 60's or 70's. This influences how they view the role of a young woman in her unmarried years.
Like I said earlier, I believe it is the father's duty to provide for his daughters until they marry. However, along with many other unfortunate changes in our mindset, a young woman who 'doesn't go out and do her own thing' is considered socially unacceptable. I do want to keep my eyes on the ideals – restoring the Biblical family unit. Right now, however, as we approach the second part of this series, I'd like us to examine together a few practical solutions that can help you on your path.
You can suggest a 'trial period' to your parents. If by now you have made your work a valuable and important part of keeping the household running smoothly, I'm sure it will be missed! Next time you have to eat a microwave dinner, or the floors are dirty, or a certain need of your parents is unattended because the daughter who used to dedicate herself to home is now at work, might just be the time for them to re-evaluate their decision. Now, I'm not suggesting that if you work outside the home, you become a slacker at home on purpose. You should still try and help as much as you can. But there's literally no way you can continue putting in the same amount of work, and if you did your job well, it will be noticed.
However, I feel I should say right away that if after all the reasoning, your parents still insist that you get a job or go to college, I think you should obey their authority. This is actually the most difficult part of the challenge you're facing: you don't want to compromise your convictions – but if you set out in open rebellion against your parents' wishes, you've already done that!
Having said that, let us move - hopefully, next week - on to the next posts, which will contain practical ways how you can be a financial asset, rather than a burden, to your family, and explore a few simple options to earn money from home.