Thursday, November 22, 2007

Dedicated Daughters: you are not alone

Dear dedicated daughter, this was written entirely for encouraging and supporting you. I know how lonely it can get sometimes. Maybe you are the only young woman in your community who has similar convictions, but I assure you: you are not alone. Every week, I receive emails from many young ladies who know where their hearts are, but nevertheless are pressured by their parents and peers to conform, to give up on their godly vision of becoming future homemakers, to go against what they believe is good and right.

And I can tell you something: there is hope, no matter what your current situation is. Whether you are fifteen or thirty-five, at home or far away in college, working outside the home or not, courted by a godly man or without any perspective of marriage right now – it is still in your hands to be strengthened and live out your convictions.

I believe our generation is starting a new revolution, completely different from that which overthrew the authority, family, and Bible. We stand up and refuse to rebel against God, against family values, against everything our foremothers held dear for so many generations. But it isn't always easy, especially for those of us who aren't supported by their families. I would like to share with you a part of a letter I received – just one of many, many like it:

"Dear Anna,
I'm eighteen years old, a fresh homeschool graduate; my dream and desire is trust the Lord as He leads me on the path to becoming a godly homemaker, if it is His will. My parents were divorced when I was little, and I feel discouraged because I could never 'live up' to all those wonderful daughters whose parents support their decision to stay at home until they marry…"

Looks familiar? I remember the rejoicing I felt when I first found there are still young, home-focused women out there, seeking the support and protection of their fathers, the guidance and training of their mothers; when I first read about how those young ladies train to be future wives, helpmeets, mothers and homemakers, how they give their hearts over to their parents and focus on their family's needs, I told myself – that's exactly how things should be. This is just what I want for my daughters. If your parents are absent, unsupportive, or in firm opposition to these ideas, your situation is more complicated, and it's often easy to feel frustrated and say, "Well, I just don't fit in! There's no room for me in this neat little picture!"

Believe me, I know what it's like when you feel you are the only woman in the world who feels such an irresistible pull towards everything that - as we have been convinced – we should consider unworthy of our time and effort: home; family; glorious, godly womanhood. In such circumstances, finding likeminded ladies can be anything but an easy task.

If this is your situation, I encourage you to resort to one of my favorite principles in this matter, and in general: think outside the box. Maybe the only ones who can understand you are older ladies in your community – try to get closer to them; true fellowship has no age limits! And now, the internet opened endless possibilities for us: blogs, forums, message boards… try to find young women in your area who share your convictions, and suggest that you meet; or, if it isn't possible, even long-distance friendship can be a great encouragement, a wonderful way to confirm that you are not alone, and that you are, regardless what anyone else might say, perfectly normal.

10 comments:

Persuaded said...

As a single mom, I am often unable to provide my children with all the choices and benefits I wish I could. A protective and supportive father is one of those things. But I thank the Lord for folks like you who are willing to say these unpopular and even culturally heretical things. Many young people today are "rebelling against rebellion", and, as you say, refusing to rebel against God. I am praying for you sweetheart!

Oh, and thanks so very much for your kind comment on my blog:-)
Diane

Bonnie said...

Thank you for the encouragement, Anna! It is indeed hard to stand up for convictions when the world says to do otherwise, and provides no encouragement in this area.

It will always be harder to stand up for what's right than for what is wrong, but ultimately the reward is greater :)

Rhonda Jean said...

Hello Anna

What a wonderfully thoughtful and supportive post. It is indeed a lonely place for some who feel they alone walk their path.

I think you will make a wonderful wife and mother.

Take care dear.

Coffee Catholic said...

A thought struck me the other day: I think that there are many more women and girls out there with similar convictions but...we just don't know about each other because we are not in the media. I can't help but think that God is using blogging to help us connect! I think we feel isolated but the truth is...we are EVERYWHERE! We just don't know one another yet!

Terry said...

Beautifully said, Anna. I pray many young women are encouraged by this series. Our children need Godly mothers who are interested in keeping home and actually raising the children they give birth to. We can no longer afford to follow the dictates of this culture. I wish that more Christian parents would encourage their daughters to embrace Bilical womanhood and thier sons to be loving, responsible, Biblical husbands and fathers, willing to provide for their families so that their wives can be keepers at home.

Karen said...

I'm so glad you are out there with this encouraging message! I remember for a while when I was single, really disillusioned and miserable and lonely what with working and going to school and feeling like it was all just a curse on my life...and I had the nerve to tell a co-worker "What I really want is to get married, have lots of babies, and take care of them all." This co-worker looked at me like I had just said something totally shocking and bizarre. But then said, well I am sure there is some guy out there who will say that's the one for me and put a ring on your finger. LOL. And so there was!

USAincognito said...

Anna S,
Thanks for your thoughts & prayers as I was gone. Really appreciate it.

Brenda said...

I agree about the internet! I NEVER knew there were so many women just like myself who thought about the same things I did and wondered about the same things as me...until I entered blogland. I am so glad I did too! I have found encouragment, been given food for thought, and so much more!

Anonymous said...

V-e-r-y interesting post, Anna.
I have read your blog several times
and I find it very inspiring, although not always in the intent
you probably have.
I came from a family where my father was very abusive, and I was able to sustain a marriage for 13 years and raise two children; a son and daughter alone while instilling godly values to both of them throughout their lives.
I can't underestimate the damage inflicted by abusive fathers on the lives and psyches of girls, children in general.
My older sister, in her mid-50s', is still suffering residual effects
from what occurred 30-40 years ago.
She lacked the inner reserves and perseverance needed to create a
better life after reaching adulthood.
I know you are college-educated, and seem to know much about motherhood, but you will truly not know it firsthand until you are a mother yourself, and with whom (hopefully, a decent husband) you
share that child with. So many unseen variables to consider, even
for those who feel they "have it figured out".

Hannah said...

Thank you. :)