Monday, November 12, 2007

Introduction - Dedicated Daughters series

Dear ladies, daughters, mothers, grandmothers and all you devoted homemakers out there - I'm happy to tell you I just finished working on a series called "Dedicated Daughters - Encouragement for the home-focused young woman in an unsupportive environment"; The series will be posted on my blog over the next weeks (There will still be room for other things as well). The purpose of these posts is to encourage and support those young women with passion for family, home, and femininity; women who desire with all their hearts to dedicate their single years to studying the arts of homemaking - but can't hope to receive understanding and support from those who surround them.

Why did I decide to sit down and write "Dedicated Daughters"?

It just so happened that one day, the amount of thoughts, memories, observations, objections and frustrations, coupled with many emails I received from likeminded young ladies, reached an all-time high and could no longer be ignored.

Today, some forty plus years after the onset of modern feminism, we have a generation of young women who got a good strong doze of reality after experiencing its detrimental effects. We have young ladies, who would love nothing better than to do what countless young women did in the past: prepare for a future of wifehood and motherhood; hone their homemaking skills; learn from older women.

Only it so happens that for most of these young, virtuous women, the task isn't as easy as it was for their grandmothers: many homemaking skills are lost, home management itself is underappreciated, the right man is in no hurry to show up and their peers - and often parents as well - apply moderate and not-so-moderate pressure to reap the bounty of feminism: independence and self-fulfillment (read: self-centeredness and irresponsibility) which can only come, it is claimed, from pursuing a college degree and seeking a competitive, high-paying and time-consuming career. And those older women who are supposed to teach and instruct the young ones? Oh, you mean, their feminist mothers. Well, not much hope there.

No one cares that they yearn for peaceful home life and for accomplishing the vision of womanhood; is it any wonder that they are feeling frustrated and even hopeless?

Here are only a few words from the many young ladies who wrote to me (edited to preserve privacy): "I would love to train in the arts of homemaking, but my parents insist that I go away to college for several years"; "I'm newly married but there was no one to teach me how to cook or manage a household. I wake up every day to a messy home and a frustrated, hungry husband. What do I do?"; "I know I'm called to home, but I'm also called to honor my parents, so how am I supposed to balance that?"; "I have read books and articles dedicated to unmarried adult daughters, but they all describe a situation when a protective father is present. It isn't so for me – so what are my options?"

I don't claim to provide the ultimate answers. What I would like to do, however, is share my own experience as someone who in a few years walked the path from die-hard feminist to home-focused daughter, as well as the priceless advice I gleaned from more experienced ladies I had the privilege to know. From college to home organization and earning money from home, I'll try to touch numerous aspects in the life of a young lady who wishes to dedicate herself to home, but can't hope for much support from her family and friends.

Coming soon: "What's a young, unmarried woman to do at home?"

Stay tuned!

38 comments:

Rebekah S. said...

Oh, you have NO idea how excited I am!!!!!! This is what I've been wanting! lol What a great series this is going to be! Thank you for taking the time to begin it.

As to some of the questions you received, I know it's so hard, but the Bible does speak on the subject of obeying your parents vs. obeying Christ and His commands. We are commanded over and over to obey our parents (in Romans 1, we see that the sin of disobedience is just as bad as the sin of murder). We are to happily obey them even whether they are Christians or not. However: if at any time they tell you to do something that is contrary to God's Word and His clear commands, then you are to obey God above your parents. Acts 5:29 says that we are to obey God rather than men. There are also numerous verses in the gospels that tell us that whoever loves his parents more than Him is not worthy of Him. So, we are to always obey our parents unquestioningly as long as their commands do no contradict His word. Even then, we are to politely and lovingly be honoring to our parents. But we are commanded to obey Christ above our parents if that sad circumstance comes into being.

As to books pertaining to only protected young women, So Much More does answer numerous questions on the subject of daughters with passive fathers, non-Christian fathers, as well as absent fathers. They even supply you with a story of a young lady's courtship who did not have her father in the picture, for her parents were divorced. I highly recommend this book for protected and unprotected young ladies alike.

Ok, this has gotten too long. My apologies, Anna!!!! :)

Terry said...

I can hardly wait to read the rest of this series! I know it's going to be great!!

Emily said...

I know you have so much to share with girls who have chosen to stay at home, being one yourself who is so productive at home and serving her family, so I look forward to reading!

Anonymous said...

This is a great idea, Anna. You are sure to have many, many younger readers eager to glean all they can from your writing this series. Looking forward to the rest of it myself!

Brenda

Lily said...

I am going to recommend this series on my blog. I wish you much success with it and feel that you are a very generous person to post it here for us all to read!

Many blessings will come to you for paving the way for others through your insight. Having the ability to convey those insights with charity and clarity is a rare gift, thank you for sharing it with all of us.

Anna S said...

Brenda, as a matter of fact I had no idea just *how* many young women are out there, desperate for home and family, and pushed by their dear and loved ones to join the feminist camp. It's an enormous conflict our generation has to face, I think. And this prompted me to sit down and start writing!

Anna S said...

Lily, thank you so much. That's very sweet of you!

Mimi said...

Anna,
I look forward to following your study along with you...I feel that there is so much to be said on the subject.
the generation of parents have missed the boat on many instances I'm afraid
good luck with your series...

Anonymous said...

What do you think of young women who do feel called to go to college and/or the work place? Do you think it is possible God calls some to work and some to stay home?

Renee said...

Hello!

I have two daughters that are homeschooled. I hope they decide not to go to college. I would love them to stay home and learn how to be a wife and mother (or just to be able to take care of their selves)

Having a career is not what I believe is the most important thing. I want my daughters to be able to live a happy but simple life. I pray for their future husband's. I only hope that I can teach them how to be a Godly wife's.

I really enjoy your blog!

God Bless,

Renee

Mandy said...

I can't wait to read this series!! I have stayed at home since graduating high school with the support of my parents, but there have been many times when it wasn't easy, just from the continual comments and criticisms from friends or even strangers. Do you mind if I link to your articles?

Sue said...

Anna:

I think you are the perfect person to write on this topic and will certainly help many.

I was wondering if you could address what must be a very real problem for many single women who stay in the family home without taking a full-time position with benefits -- how to obtain health insurance, especially if you have pre-existing conditions that might make it difficult to get individual insurance?

It's certainly an issue for my sister and her second-youngest daughter. My niece is happy at home (but not for the reasons you are), but her parents expect her to make at least her own spending money and to attend community college part-time so she can stay on their health insurance. Sure, she's young and healthy, but just one drunk driver could change all that in an instant.

Thanks,

Sue

deb said...

What a great idea, Anna, but then again I always like your posts. I remember being in the same boat as many of the young women you describe twenty years ago. My single mother had to work and I really had no idea how to make a house a home. It took me a lot of trial and error to learn important skills that I needed to run a home.

Green Eyes said...

I look forward to reading your views on this. :) As I look forward to all of your posts, actually.

Katy-Anne said...

I'm going to recommend this on my Beautiful Maidenhood site.

JoAnn said...

This series sounds very interesting. Though I am a SAHM with a supportive husband, I do look forward to reading them. Thanks for sharing them with us.
JoAnn (formally 2peter318)

Brenda said...

Wow you are so well-planned. Whenever I do a "series" it's b/c I realize I had more to say than I thought and I can't fit it into one post.

This is going to be great, by the way. Can't wait!

Sammybunny said...

This is very exciting Anna!

Sammybunny said...

Anna! This is kinda random, but I was wondering if you could maybe do a post about hair care and how you care for your long long hair?

Anna S said...

Dear ladies,

Thank you for your encouragement. To all who linked, or want to link to this post - thank you! You are most welcome to do that, of course, and I appreciate your interest.

Sue, I haven't touched the subject of health insurance in this series, because I know it's different in every part of the world, so I'm not sure how helpful my advice would be. But maybe I will do a separate post about it later, because several ladies have asked me this question already. In the meantime, those of you who have relevant advice to share, go ahead!

Anonymous,

Do I believe some women are called to work/go to college in their single years? Here's a very brief summary of what I think: most women will, eventually, be called to marriage and motherhood. This requires preparation and practice - and those take a good deal of time and energy. Typically, a young single woman has more time in her single years than a married woman. So she might have other pursuits a married lady won't find the time for. But those need to be carefully examined. Do her other pursuits (college, work, volunteering, home business, other personal projects) help and encourage her on the path to wifehood and motherhood? Or do they steer her heart away? This needs to be prayerfully evaluated.

Then again, I feel this question is at least partly answered in the next posts of "Dedicated Daughters", so stay tuned!

Sammybunny,

Actually I did a similar post not long ago, I think. You can use the "search" window and type "hair care". Or look it under "Frugal Living".

Mrs. June Fuentes said...

As always, looking forward to your thoughts. :) You remind me of a budding Jennie Chancey.

Many blessings...

Anna S said...

Mrs. Fuentes, I take that as a compliment. :) Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for doing this anna I look foward to reading your blog in the near future. as a 16 yr old girl I too and often told by my sister to pursue a career, to go out and party all night, hook-up with random boys like a "normal teenage girl" instead of getting married and bearing children (by the way the because my sister decided to party and hook-up she got pregnet twice and it ruined her dreams to go to colleage. why she telling me to go down her same path I'll never know). I keep telling her (her friends and my father) that the life of Paris Hilton is not what I want (p.s. my mom supports me so that makes me feel a lot better).

Rebekah S. said...

Anonymous,

Hi! Great questions. I've stated before that the Lord never calls anyone to go against His commands. He's perfectly holy, and cannot stand sin, and so would therefore never call someone to sin. A young woman must be preparing herself for a life of motherhood, being a wife, homemaker, and helpmeet. This takes so much preparation, because there are so many duties that this woman must fulfill! :) Let me ask you a question, if I may: what makes more sense? To go to college which prepares you more for a career than for being a homemaker, or does it make more sense to stay at home during your single years in preparation for your life as a wife, mother, homemaker and helpmeet? I'm sure your answer would be the same as mine!! :) However, let me say something to calm some of the fears you may have: I believe wholeheartedly that a woman is to be fully and highly educated. But we must ask ourselves how this is to be Biblically performed? The Biblical way is for a young lady to stay at home under her father's roof and protection until marriage. At this time, after highschool, there are SO many opportunities to further your education. For instance, I'm only in the 10th grade, but am already reading books that are given to students in college. Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin had the equivalent of a college education at the ages of 15 and 17! It definitely can be done! Through Accilerated Distance Learning, you can even earn a degree that could be helpful at home in your future (for instance, if you had a home business). This degree can be earned in as little as 6 months, costing only $5,000 or so. A young lady can also take correspondance courses as well. There really are a wealth of opportunities out there for the girl who wants to live life and get an education God's way, rather than the world's way.

Blessings to you!!


Have a peaceful week,
Rebekah

Anna Naomi said...

I look forward to this series! I have a Godly and supportive family; however, almost all of my siblings think that college is the only way to go, and that I should leave home to learn to "think for myself". I look forward to reading what you have to share of this subject!

Karen said...

How exciting! You should write a book!

Bethany Sue, CFO said...

YAY! What an awesome series!

Dawn said...

Wow...all the support for you Anna is quite over whelming. How awesome!
I support you too writing this article!

Hugs!

SarahBeth said...

Thanks for doing this series, it definitely is appreciated. I am a young lady(graduating next summer) who wants to stay at home. My Mother wants me to attend college. ( my Dad is neutral) I'm going to do a link to this from my blog. I can't wait for the next post! Thanks again, SarahBeth

Leigh said...

Anna,

This is very exciting! I can't wait to read this series! I will link to it on my blog as well :)

Take care,
Leigh

Anonymous said...

In response to those concerned about health insurance in the United States:

1. There are companies offering legitimate work at home options with some benefits including health insurance.

2. Major insurance companies also offer individual policies with rates depending on the policy chosen, your age, where you live, and what health conditions you have and how serious they are.

3. Medical expense-share organizations such as Samaritan's Purse exist as alternative to health insurance.

4. For those willing to venture out
into the workforce, there are companies out there offering some form of health insurance to their part-time employees.

Anonymous said...

Hello! I came across this article on ladiesagainstfeminism.com I am very excited about your series! I am newly "converted" to the idea of daughters at home, and am in desperate need of encouragement and ideas! I have read a few books, but I think some more practical tips would be great. Anyway, thanks so much for taking this on. :)

The Pathfinder said...

As a mother of a preteen daughter I'm very interested in what you have to say. My daughter has already expressed distress at the thought of going off to college one day. I've told her that we have no intention of booting her out of the nest when she is eighteen, but I suppose the culture she is growing up in still causes her to feel this way. She is homeschooled but her friends are not and their opinions about homeschool and other things such as dating, etc. do distress her at times.

Libby said...

Thank you Anna! This is me that you're talking about - I would love to stay at home and not go to college then out to work, but my parents are completely unsupportive of that. I would love to learn homemaking skills off my mother but she works and doesn't have the time or the skills to teach me. I would love to read your thoughts on what you think a girl in my situation should do.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anna, this is the first time I'm commenting but I have been reading your blog for awhile now and really enjoy what you write. Thanks for speaking up on these issues and getting the word out. This world needs more women like you!

I'm especially looking forward to your new series. It sounds like it will be good for me to read what you have to say because I feel completely alone in my viewpoints and lifestyle choices since my family is so against them. They think I'm living in a 'fantasy world' and that the lifestyle I want is impossible to have these days. Even the most conservative people I know think women should work outside the home....

I hope you will address some issues for women who have no choice but to work and support themselves (like me :( ) and who will most likely never get the chance to marry (even though they desperately want to!)

Loyalty said...

Anna,
I am sixteen year old girl trying to figure this all out. I do have the support of my parents mostly, but they are trying to figure this out themselves so it makes it hard. I am excited that i found this site and for your new material. It hopefully will answer questions that i have. It helps to find that i am not alone in the world.

Anonymous said...

I am looking forward to reading further on this topic. My mother stayed home for years, because she ran a daycare out of her home. My father worked outside of the home. I have always wanted to be a homemaker and a wife and mother. My mother, unfortunately, always forced me to work and pay her rent to live at home after I turned 18. She never approved of my desire to do anything else, because she would just label me lazy and irresponsible. I am married now, at 19, and expecting a beautiful baby girl in just 5 days! I cannot wait to learn how to sew and knit and garden. I already know the basics of cooking, baking, and cleaning, but with a child coming, I'm sure there's a lot more to it! I want to be the woman God made me to be! And that woman is meant to work at home, to guard and keep it, just like scripture says. I hope to read more of your blog, soon. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much!

In my house, and with most people I know, college is not an option. Once I told my mom that I would love to stay home after high school and learn things like cooking and cleaning. She told me that if I don't go to college right after I graduate, I need to get a full time jobs and I need to start paying rent.