Thursday, February 7, 2008

Engagement ring


engagement 026, originally uploaded by Anna's musings.

Good evening, ladies! I'm thrilled to show you my engagement ring, which I received yesterday during the meeting between our two families. Now it seems as though everything is going to happen really soon, and I'm positively beside myself with excitement.

In the meantime, I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to take pictures of myself with my hair still uncovered. Soon it will be time to choose hair coverings, something I'll need a lot of help at! My hair is very long (when I say long, I mean I could sit on it if I wanted to), and I always assumed I'd trim it at least by half before I get married, to make it easier to handle. However, my dear chatan would hear none of it, so I suppose I'll need to find another solution. ;)

Now I must fly, because my beloved is about to arrive. I have a lot of ideas swirling around in my head, but I'm not sure I'll have an opportunity to post before Shabbat. So for now, I just want to wish you a lovely day/evening, and tell you all how much I value your friendship, insight, encouragement and support that you ladies have offered so generously in response to my previous posts.

70 comments:

Kelly said...

What a beautiful ring! As far as hair coverings go I can't help, are you permitted to braid your hair so that it will fit under a hair covering?
Just curious since I know nothing of Jewish traditions and observances, do you always have to have your hair covered once you are married?

Kelly

Terry said...

Beautiful ring! I sincerely wish you every happiness imaginable, Anna.

AnneK said...

That is a very pretty ring!

I had one question for you. You don't have to publish it, if you don't want to. I read a book long back in which the Jewish women after marriage were supposed to cut off all their hair (shave even) and wear wigs. Is that true only for a particular sect because what you wrote certainly is not in tune with that.

If you don't want to answer in comments, please email me, would you when you have the time?

Blessings,
Annie

Green Eyes said...

How lovely!

I'm so excited for you! Marriage is truly a joy, especially for those who walk into it with open eyes and a thoughtful heart.

Anna S said...

OK... some clarification about the issue of hair covering: once I'm married, no man but my husband or son will be permitted to see my hair, so I'll need to keep it covered at all times when I'm away from home (unless I'm in a place where only women will see me). The Law is that all hair must be covered. It's true that some religious groups shave off their hair and wear wigs. However, it's just a custom, not Law. I won't wear wigs because they are hot and uncomfortable.

Anna S said...

PS: not to mention that I want my husband to enjoy my hair!! :)

Tracy said...

Congratulations Anna. You must be so excited!

Rebekah S. said...

Oh, it's simply beautiful!!!! Oh, I'm beside myself with giddyness, and I'm not the one getting married soon! lol :) It's so fun how us females get so excited over things like this. I'm so excited and happy for you, and can't wait to see pics! What you said about not cutting your hair because your future husband didn't want you to, was just beautiful. All too many ladies don't please their husbands in these different ways, but they instead just seek their own happiness. But in this post, you showed your selflessness so beautifully! :) Your future husband is going to be so, so blessed by you(as will your future little blessings! ;)).

I loved how you put, "My beloved is about to arrive." That wording was beautiful and so romantic. :) It reminds me of the Song of Solomon. And you two have been so faithful; throughout your engagement, you've "not arroused or awakened love until the time is right."

Praise God for examples such as you!

Rebekah

Laura said...

That is beautiful. You know we are looking forward to seeing your wedding pictures.

Rebekah S. said...

I think that Jewish custom about headcoverings is simply beautiful! What a wonderful thing to do, to show that you're under your husband's loving authority, leadership and protection. That's just beautiful!

Mrs.B said...

Your ring is beautiful! I'm so excited and happy for you both. (o:

Kristy said...

What a lovely ring, Anna. I'm so excited for you! Enjoy your wedding planning and may God bless you in your upcoming marraige! ~Kristy

Ewokgirl said...

Your ring is lovely! Best wishes to you!

Oh, and Annie's question made me laugh because I was going to ask the exact same thing! :-)

I'm glad you won't be cutting it all off. Your hair is much too pretty to hack it off!

Alexandra said...

Beautiful!

I look forward to seeing your choices in hair coverings.

Anonymous said...

What a stunning ring! You must be so happy!

Melissa

Anonymous said...

Anna, I love reading your blog. Do you have a wedding date picked out? I must have missed that post!
I also want to agree on the hair thing. Long, luxurious hair is quite sexy to men. I cut all my hair off for Locks of Love about two years ago, and had very short hair. It has finally grown out to mid-back length again, and I get comments EVERYWHERE I go...from men and women alike. I wear it pulled back whenever I am out, because I am uncomfortable with the attention my hair gets. Can you believe it never occurred to me to cover it? Hmmm....

Blessings,
Sarah in Florida

Apple Cider Mama said...

Anna - What an elegant ring! You must be so thrilled. How fun to choose your hair coverings. I think it's such a beautiful tradition. I always admired our Orthodox rabbi's wife at my college who kept her beautiful, long hair covered. It made me think what a blessing it must have been that her husband would be the only man to see that gorgeous auburn hair!

~Bethany

Jaime said...

I'm curious about the hair covering... does that mean you need to remove from public viewing (even your house) any photos of you with your hair visible? Or if the pictures are from before you are married is that okay?

Not trying to be rude at all.... just curious.

Anonymous said...

Could you explain the scriptural reasoning for a married woman covering her hair? I have never heard of this as far as married women being singled out so I am just wondering.

Haus Frau said...

Your ring is a lovely example of your purity as a bride. Just beautiful, Anna.

As for the hair, could you possibly fashion it into a 'donut' at the base of your neck then add a head covering? I love that you desire to please your fiance in keeping your hair very long.

Bless you dearly, dear friend.

((( hugs & prayer )))

Kaeus said...

your ring is gorgeous! and so dainty. i was petrified my husband was going to pick out some enormous clunky thing.. guess im lucky he couldnt afford a big one!


all the women in my father's community wear wigs, although as far as im aware, none of them have shaved off their own hair, they simply tuck it under. it looks a little odd seeing an elderly woman with stark black 'hair', then noticing a tiny wisp of white poking out the bottom...

have you practiced with your hair, tucking it into a hat/twisting it into a scarf? it always looks so complicated... im glad i can keep my hair loose, i dont think i would have the co-ordination to cover it entirely!

Maggie said...

Anna,

Thanks for explaining the wig issue -- I was wondering the same thing!
Your chatan doesn't want you to cut your hair? Is he not aware of how cumbersome it will be to cover it all? What about a trim at least?

Mrs Amy said...

What a lovely ring! Congratualtions!! May you and your chatan enjoy every happiness at this wonderful time!

maria said...

I'm so happy for you! I wish you all the best in the world!

ruizbe82 said...

The ring is just beautiful!

My hair used to be long enough that it would get caught in my pants... no fun. Maybe he'll let you trim it a few inches just so it doesn't bother?

Why is it that no man can see your hair after marriage? You can email the answer if you don't want to make a comment on it here. :)

ruizbe82[at]yahoo[dot]com

-Beulah (the ex-lurker)

Adlyn said...

beautiful ring Anna! you are such an inspration! Good luck with the wedding! Will you post pictures?

xoxoxoxo,
Adlyn

Kathleen said...

!! I"m so excited for you! :D

Kate said...

From the few pictures of you that you have up, it's easy to imagine you with your hair (all of it!) in a bun under a tiechel. I'm sure you'll find ways to be tsniusdik with modesty and grace as always!

Have a good Shabbat. I'm looking forward to reading more about your wedding preparations when you have a chance.

Cristina (a.k.a. "Stramenda") said...

WOW Anna, amazing news !!! WOW WOW WOW !!

I've got a question too, which scripture talks about the covering of the hair? I didn't know about this and want to look it up.

Best wishes !

magda said...

oh! i am wishing you every happiness and i am so glad that everything is working out. and what a beautiful ring!

A Note From Theresa said...

It takes me so long to get back here that I have to do a lot of catch up reading. I am really happy every thing turned out well for you.

Jeannine said...

The ring is beautiful! I am so happy for you. Have a blessed Shabbat, Anna.
I'm looking forward to the post about headcoverings :).

Lillian the Ponderer said...

What a beautiful ring!

anna said...

What a lovely ring!

Anna, your hair is beautiful. I've been wondering if you use any special treatments/products to keep it so long and shiny, mine is very dry. I'd love some tips from you!

I can't help you with haircoverngs either, but I've looked at the links to modest clothes on your blog (the wrap skirts are lovely!) and I think some of the scarves look really nice.

Can't wait to hear more about your wedding plans... Have a good week-end!

Jimena said...

Congratulations Anna;
May the Lord bless and guide you each step of the way. Blessings

Sammybunny said...

I'm so happy for you Anna! This is such a wonderful time for every woman! Congratulations and God's blessings upon you and your new household!

Dawn said...

Love the ring Anna!

I never had an engagement ring. Never wanted one. I just wanted to be married :-)

My hair is as long as yours. What I do is I braid it, than take the braid and flatten it against my head and just twirl the braid in a circle till it's all complete. Then I secure it will little clippes and put my covering on.

Have you ever been to the website www.tzunis.com ? They have Jewish scarves and they give you hints how to wear the scarf and other great things. I think it would help you.

It will be so nice to see you covered for the glory of God. :-)

I like it too that only be husband sees my hair. He likes that. I think he feels honored by it :-) But he also says I look cute covered, so, well, whatever...lol.

Blessings,
Dawn

erica said...

Anna, I am so happy and excited for you!
I pray the Lord blesses you and your beloved as you continue to prepare for marriage. I have been reading your blog for a while, and know that you will make a wonderful wife!

Kelli said...

What a beautiful ring, Anna! This is such an exciting time for you and your family, thank you for sharing it with us too!
Hugs,
Kelli

Becky said...

Congratulations!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!!! I've been reading your blog for quite some time now.
Wow!!! I wish you all the best and God's blessings!!!

Lady-in-the-Making said...

Anna!!! Congratulations! I am so thrilled for you. What a beautiful young woman you are and such a breathtaking ring! Keep us posted. :)

USAincognito said...

Beautiful ring. :)

Ahuva said...

Mazel Tov!!!!! Well, hats are definitely out with all that hair. :) But your hair looks like you could put it up in a bun and cover it with a snood or tichel. Mine only comes down to my elbows, but I have no problem tucking it up even into a mob cap, so wouldn't one of the longer snoods work for you?

Jacran Cottage said...

What a pretty ring! Mazel tov!!!

Ashlie said...

How pretty! I wish you every happiness, blessing, and joy! Marriage is absolutely wonderful! When is the wedding date, if you don't mind me asking?

Sue said...

Well, from what we can see from your photo on your blog, you are a fine looking young woman, with very nice long hair. I can definitely see why your fiance wouldn't want it all chopped off!

And your engagement ring is beautiful as well.

Hope your wedding preparations go well, too. I also pray that you have the peace of God that passes all understanding during this hectic but memorable time. Don't forget to smell the flowers (figuratively and literately

Best wishes,

Sue

Asia said...

that is a lovly ring. I am so happy for you.

Kelly said...

Thanks for the clarification Anna.

Leanna said...

I recently discovered your blog - I am impressed by your insight and maturity. You are a rare gem in this world! Congratulations on your engagement.

neuropoet3 said...

What a beautiful ring!!!!! Thanks for sharing a picture of it Anna. :)

A year or so after my husband and I were married I began to wear my hair up all the time - usually in a bun. The only person who sees my hair down (it is very long and wavy) is my husband. It's a small thing, but it's just one more thing that's just ours - it's a special part of my femininity - similar to the use of a headcovering I guess. It has come to the point that I feel kind of "naked" if my hair comes down even around family. :) Funny, huh? At times I have wished that I lived in a culture where I could cover my hair without drawing attention to myself - I tried it for awhile, and my husband actually liked it, but we eventually felt that too much attention was being drawn to us. Every once in awhile I'll wear a scarf and wrap it around my bun when I go "out and about" - it's feminine and doesn't seem to draw as much attention - I guess because it looks like a fashion of some kind. I recently bought a lace covering for church, where it is more "normal" or at least not unheard of for a woman to cover to hair. There was a time when all Catholic women covered their hair in Mass - symbolically covering their glory so God's glory would be easier to focus on - and while it isn't common anymore, some women still choose to do it.

I hope you have a wonderful Shabbat!
Peace,
Jenny

Ways of Zion said...

How exciting! There is this wonderful shop called the silver point (Esther Weiss is the lady who runs it) near the pizza cardo in the old city where I found all my favourtie headcoverings! I would recommend it. She also taught me a bunch of different ways to tie them. Personally I put my hair in a braid or bun underneath and that is a lot easier. My hair is also very long!

Blessings

Candy :) said...

Ohhh, it is sooo pretty! Just like you! :)

Jennifer said...

Congratulations Anna...I am so excited for you! I was smiling while I was reading your post. :-) I am very happy for you and how God is blessing you!

andrea said...

aww, you must be so happy! :) I've debated back and forth about hair coverings--for Christians, a lot of people say it is a cultural thing, not a command. I do not know what to think. Only a few kinds of Christian women really cover their hair. I think for Christians, it is more of a conviction or a heart matter. Anyways, I'm happy for you! It must be so exciting!

Anna Naomi said...

Your ring looks beautiful! I'm happy for you! =)

I'm finding it very interesting to hear about your Jewish traditions. My mom has been interested in Jews/Israel for quite a long time, and it's been interesting and informative to hear about your experiences!

Kaye :) said...

Lovely ring Anna. :)

Take care.

Kaye :)

Beth said...

A beautiful ring, Anna...Congratulations!

Liedeke said...

Looks beautiful, Anna. I hope you'll wear it in happiness and spiritual prosperity.

By the way, are there any 'engagement paraphernelia' for the male half of the pair? Nobody I know was ever engaged (talk about a lost ritual!) and I'm just curious.

~Liedeke

Karen said...

What a lovely ring! I am so excited for you and am looking to hear more about your upcoming wedding. And seeing the hair coverings.

Anonymous said...

Anna,

What a beautiful ring. The joy you have been conveying in your posts lately is lovely to read and very inspiring for all of us still waiting. Prayers for you during this special time of preparation.

Peace,
Rachele
http://360.yahoo.com/rnrachele

Serena said...

It's a lovely ring, Anna! I'm so excited for you!

I laughed at your fiancee's reaction to your plan to cut your hair. I could have predicted that! I think that most men prefer their wives to have long hair. I know my husband prefers my hair long, and my brothers are the same way with their wives.

Anonymous said...

I would reccomend you to go www.CoverYourHair.com they have really nice hair coverings!

Andrea said...

The ring is lovely, Anna; so dainty, and quite unique-looking. I understand that most Jewish ladies don't wear their engagement rings after marriage-- can I ask if you'll be having the stones reset into your wedding band? It looks too pretty to simply be shut away in a drawer!

As to the hair-- I can certainly sympathise! My hair once reached down past my backside, and I wore it that way for several years. I have very thick hair, however, and kept getting the most excruciating headaches from the weight of it whenever I put it up (which was quite often-- as I'm sure you know, dragging around three+ feet of unbound hair is hardly an exercise in practicality!) I now generally keep it trimmed somewhere between my shoulders and mid-back (with the occasional fit of "oh, just cut it off to my chin!" in the summer months, lol!) and find the difference in weight is incredible! However, if your hair is not as thick as mine it's likely you won't have the same problem; I second the question of whether you are able to plait it to wind it up under a snood or something similar . . . your summers must be much warmer than ours are here, and I can imagine that wearing a cape of hair, as it were, even wrapped in light cotton, could get a little hot!

I wish I had more practical advice about covering your hair to offer; as far as I know my most observant friends' mothers all wear wigs, not snoods or kerchiefs. I did find one website though (you've probably already seen it!) that might help. You can find it at http://www.headcoverings-by-devorah.com/home.html and some of her work is really very artful; I notice she has a few options for ladies with exceptionally long hair, too, so perhaps you might glean some ideas from there :)

Must run off and arrange for breakfast, now, but I wish you all the best in the preparations, and can't wait to hear further details!

Anna S said...

Well, I'm definitely going to wear this ring after marriage as well! Maybe not every day, but I will wear it. A wedding band cannot have stones in it.

Sheri said...

Oh Anna, I just read your blog today and saw your beautiful ring! Congratulations! May the Lord continue to bless you and your beloved as you prepare to be married!

Rebekah S. said...

I noticed that there were some ladies who were wondering where the Scriptures speak on headcoverings. Go to 1 Corinthians 11 for that chapter. :)

Hope that helped!

Sincerely,
Rebekah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anna,

Just curious as to why wedding bands can't have stones in them? I just love learning more and more about your Jewish culture! :)

Andrea said...

Gack, yes, I even knew that about wedding bands-- I don't know why I typed that! It may just be more a North American Jewish custom, then, to take the engagement ring off after marriage; one Jewish friend was stymied to note that my aunt was wearing her engagement ring on the same finger as her wedding band, as she really didn't realise that it was common practice outside the Jewish community to do so. We got to discussing it, and she explained that her mother stopped wearing her engagement ring after the wedding, but her father had reset the ring stones into a new band for their anniversary; that was what I was referring to when I asked about resetting the stones! I'm so happy you'll still wear it, though-- it really is just lovely!

rhonda jean said...

Hello Anna. Congratulations, on your engagement, my dear. What exciting news! I've been married almost 30 years and it's been one the most difficult things I've even done, but it's also the most wonderful and rewarding.

Please pass on my sincere best wishes to your financee and both families. The ring is lovely.

Devyn Karyn said...

From what I've been taught, only the first 5 books of the Old Testement (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) were used in the Jewish religion. So why is 1 Corinthians 11 the reason for hair coverings? (I'm sure I'm wrong, or at peast very confused, I'm just curious)

Andrea said...

Devyn Karyn,

doubtless Anna could speak more directly to the parts of the Law that require married Jewish women to cover their hair; I am not equipped to do so ;) I can speak re: Corinthians, though!

Rebekah's citation refers to a Scripture that is the basis for a tradition upheld by those Christian women who choose to wear headscarves/coverings. In brief, 1 Corinithians 11 is interpreted by some Christian women as a direct command to all Christian women to cover their hair (Mennonite and Amish ladies are some of the most easily-recognised example of this, though by no means the only ones), whereas others interpret it according to the culture and the specific early Christian church to which it was written, and consider it an area of Christian liberty. Incidentally, I'm one of the latter; I believe Christian women can wear headcoverings if we so choose, but I don't believe it's mandated and I really have no strong opinion on women who do or don't choose to cover their hair-- as I said, I see it as an area of Christian liberty.

Hope that helps a little :)