Sunday, February 10, 2008

More about hair coverings

Warm greetings to all you ladies! It's wonderful to join you again after a refreshing and relaxing weekend. I'd like to take this opportunity to address some questions about hair coverings that came up after my previous post.

One, let me tell you, it's not like I was thrilled at the prospect of cutting off all my hair! I like my long hair. It's one of the things that make me feel pretty and feminine. Only I thought it would be too much trouble to keep it this long when I have to cover it whenever I go out or whenever we have guests. But now, seeing my chatan's enthusiasm about my hair, I'm more motivated to keep it. Only after we are married, it will be permitted for him to touch my hair, play with it, or caress it. And that's exactly when I would say goodbye to it! He thinks that's a shame… and I agree. So, I'll keep it as it is for now, and try to handle it.

Two, I don't think there's something wrong with wearing wigs. If it covers the hair, and it's modest, it's fine for a hair covering. It's just not my style. Also, I think there's something very neat with being recognized from a distance as a married woman, so I'm going to choose hair coverings that don't resemble real hair.

So, my options remain open. Snoods aren't really my style, so I guess head scarves could be an option. They look hip and actually pretty cool for a young married woman; and if they are made from a light, natural material, they won't add too much heat in the summer. Since my hair isn't very thick, I suppose some styles of hats could be an option too.

The choice of hair coverings here in Israel is wide, due to the unceasing demand from religious Jewish women. I'm sure I'll find something that suits me – and my dear future husband too, of course! After all, it's very important for me to remain attractive in his eyes not only when we are alone and I can let my hair down (literally), but also when we go out. Which means that his tastes, naturally, will be taken into consideration.

34 comments:

Haus Frau said...

pleasing one's husband. swoon!

i'm certain you'll come up with some excellent possibilities, anna. your hair is truly beautiful and i'm thankful you and your future husband want it to remain as it is. :o)

bless you dearly...

C.A. Worcester said...

What a very lovey post Anna. Keeping in mind of how your beloved likes to see your hair.....I agree with Haus Frau....*SWOON*. :-)

I have seen some really pretty scarves too.....on Tsumi....or something like that. I think it is so beautiful the way they wear the scarves in their hair....if I were in Israel, I would do the same, but here in Kansas....I have to say I am not bold enough to do it. Call me weak....go ahead. blah.

Anyhoo, I think anything you wore in your hair would be just beautiful - because YOU are just beautiful.

Hoping you had a lovely and restful Shabbat.....

C.A. Worcester

Lydia said...

Scarves are lovely, and I can see them flattering you.

Hair is such a sensual thing, we've got to be careful with it. I find myself wearing mine back more and more out of preference.

Mrs. Brigham said...

A big smile came to my face as I read that you are keeping your hair. As I am just embarking on my full time headcovering, I have been questioning if I was going to keep my hair as long as it is. Right now, I have waist length hair, and my hair is a bit wavy and not at all thick. Placing my hair in a bun and then covering with a tichel has been working quite well, and does not look odd with my glasses (another plus!). All the styles and prints to choose from has been overhwelming, but the few tichels I have chosen are just beautiful and I am enjoying them. I look forward to hearing more of what headcovering you choose Anna, and maybe even pictures in the future if you would be comfortable sharing. :o)

Tracy said...

I'm so glad that you won't be cutting it! It seems silly to me that some ladies would cut or shave their hair, only to cover it with a wig!

Ways of Zion said...

Snoods aren't really my thing either. A bonus with the long scarves, with 2 very active lil olive plants and another on the way I can say that they can be tied on so securely that you don't have to worry about them falling off or being grabbed off by little hands!!! I found it hard to figure out how to tie them on right so you might want to get someone to walk you through a few options. Just a thought. So exciting to read your latest posts! Take care!

Rebekah S. said...

I'm happy to hear that you won't be losing your beautiful hair! I know that Jews don't adhere to the New Testament, but I have to say that what you said about Jewish culture shocked me. I had no idea that a lot of married Jewish women shaved their heads!! In the NT, the Lord tells us that a woman's long hair is her glory, is given for a covering, and that it is shameful for a woman to have a shaved head. I'm curious about why Jewish women shave their heads, for I had thought that they would want to keep their long, feminine, beautiful hair(for instance, as a covering).

It's so wonderful to hear you and other bloggers comment on wanting to please their husbands, wanting to submit to them, etc. It's just so beautiful, and is a wonderful example of Biblical womanhood! :)

Have a wonderful week!


Rebekah

Rebekah S. said...

To the ladies who were wondering where the Sciptures speak on headcoverings, refer to 1 Corinthians 11. :)

Hope that helped!

Rebekah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

C.A. Worcester,

Let me encourage you to wear headcoverings if you want to even if people thing you're weird for doing so! I know it's really hard to not fear public opinion, but it's something that we often have to do if we're going to follow God!

Sue said...

Anna:

As you said, I'm sure you'll be able to find headcoverings that both you and your fiance will find attractive since you have many options in Israel.


C.A.:

I'm sure you'll find nice headcoverings if/when the Lord leads you to wear one. And maybe you want to wear something less conspicious than a scarf, like starting out with hats and seeing where things go from there.

God bless,

Sue

Anonymous said...

Just wondering do the marjority of jewish women cover their hair once they marry or is it just the more conservitive groups?

Jess

Michelle said...

http://www.tznius.com/ has alot of great headcoverings! I haven't bought any because any type of headcovering that ties around my head, slides back and falls off.

For now, I wear an amish/mennonite style with clippies at the side.

Anyway, tznius also has a few tutorials on all the different ways to tie them too.

Andrea said...

Firstly, Anna, I want you to know that you could go completely bald and yet your sweet, gentle, feminine self would still be inescapably apparent! I just wanted you to know that ;) However, that said, I completely understand the sentiment-- I very much enjoyed having long hair, and still sometimes consider growing it back out, but taking the time to have it professionally "thinned" to relieve me of some of the weight that caused those awful headaches!

It's wonderful you live in an area where the demand for coverings is such that you have a wide range of choices; are you planning to learn to make them for yourself? If so, a whole world of fabric selection is opened to you! I imagine that in a hot climate, just as much as in a colder one such as ours, fabric choice for all garments takes on a special importance as regards health and safety.

I have a special love for hats, so that would possibly be my leaning, in your situation; they also double as great protection from the sun, though obviously on windy days, they aren't so practical! Now, forgive my not being completely up on the logistics, but do you cover every strand of hair? That is, would a kerchief have to be all-encompassing, or would it simply sit on top your head and drape over the majority of your hair? I ask because up until very recently I would have assumed the latter, but when I was on the bus on Friday I saw two young ladies from the university with their hair . . . I'm not sure how to describe it, exactly. They had clearly covered their hair when it was unbound, then gathered up both hair and (sizeable) scarf to twist into a knot at the backs of their necks. The effect was very charming, and all-covering, and I wondered if that sort of coverage is the sort you are after. Just curious!

Hope your week will be a wonderful one!

Anonymous said...

I'm certain you'll settle on something...perhaps it will be "trial & error" for a while, & then one method will stand out from the rest. And it's nice, too, that you're considering your chatan's tastes & preferences. Nothing wrong with appearing attractive to him!

Brenda

Susie said...

Anna,

Your ring from your last post is darling! Congrats on your wedding plans! I'm sure you will find some beautiful headcoverings that will be both modest and attractive for your husband-to-be.

Ok, I have a weird question. Once you are married would you have to take down your pictures on your blog with your hair uncovered? I was just wondering. Thanks! =)

Michele said...

If you wouldn't mind answering a question :) Because hair coverings aren't part of my personal culture... I was curious. Do you just keep your hair covered in front of strangers? Or anyone outside of your husband and children? What are the guidelines?

Manda said...

Anna- I'd love to hear any tips you have on keeping your hair covered with the scarves. I like to cover my hair and have a terrible time getting the scarves to stay in place. I have mastered most of the basic wraps using a large square scarf, but after about 20 minutes or so, the scarf slips off and I have to re-wrap. My hair is very very long and semi thick, and people tell me it's very soft, so I think it's the slickness of my hair that's the problem. Thank you!

Sammybunny said...

Tznius.com has some LOVELY head scarves but I'm sure you already knew that. I think it's wonderful you want to do this to show your married status and please your husband!

maria said...

Anna,
Maybe you can help me understand the logistics of the wig. I completely understand covering your hair. However, the wig I don't understand, because it seems that for people in general one would seem as having hair (so, to me, no real difference there) and to your husband you would have no hair! I'm puzzled!

Seashell / Chelsea said...

Hi Anna,
I'm a Christian headcoverer. I've worn several different styles over the last few years. http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/tying.pl I've always found this site helpful for scarf tying ideas. http://www.headcoverings-by-devorah.com/ This lady makes some beautiful, unique hc's that I really like. And there are lots of others like these:
http://headcoverings.com/
http://prayercoverings.com/

I also have long hair, although mine is kinda thin and pretty easy to handle. I find crocheted bun covers to be really practical and easy to make. Just crochet something circular like a doily a few inches across and add elastic to the edge. I'm sure there are several patterns online. Depends on how covered you want to be. These cover hair but not head really. Also these hairpins are the most wonderful thing. They don't pull, pinch, or break hair. Are substantial enough to handle all kinds of hair. http://www.prayercoverings.com/catalog.php?item=38&catid=5&ret=catalog.php%3Fcategory%3D5

Hope some of this might help. Good luck, Chelsea

beth said...

Hi Anna,
Thanks for sharing this tidbit of Jewish culture with us! Looking forward to hearing about your final decision for headcoverings! And just out of curiousity, could you share with us the meaning of "chatan"? Just wondering if it means "fiance"--is it a specific term used for males? Or maybe it means "beloved" and can be used when refering to either gender? (I just love learning about languages...thanks for indulging me! ;-)

Anna S said...

Answers to some more questions:

- Yes, I plan to cover all of my hair. I don't think the majority of Jewish women do that these days, but it's common in certain communities.

- Jewish Law states a woman must keep her hair covered. That's it. It doesn't say anything about what the covering should look like, or what she should do with her hair. Thus, a wig is a valid option, by Law. However, I personally feel it's better when a hair covering looks like hair covering, and not like hair.

- Other women can see me with my hair uncovered. Same goes for very young children I think (I need to check exactly how young). If I had a father or brother, I suppose I could take off my hair covering in front of them (again, I'm not sure, as I have no father or brother, just my observation of what is normal in hair-covering communities). I don't think I'll hide my photographs from before marriage, but all my new photos will be with hair coverings.

Anna S said...

PS: "chatan" means "bridegroom"

Erin said...

As you are a fibre crafter, have you considered making a headcovering. One thing that might be pretty would be to knit a lace shawl with a lovely cobweb weight, and then line it in a linen fabric in a contrasting colour.

Dawn said...

For headcovering slippage, one can use bobby pins, clippies or do what I do and use velcro. Even on windy days my headcovering doesn't go anywhere...lol.
Velcro might hurt you though, it all depends if you just rip off your covering at night or gently take it off :-) Me, I do both...then pay for it afterwards...lol.

Covered blessings,
Dawn

Ahuva said...

First degree relatives - father, brother, son - can a woman's hair uncovered, just as they can see her dressed less than tzniusly (in pajamas, etc).

I've seen some places that sell caps to fit over your head. The scarf goes over the cap and the friction between the two is said to prevent slippage. I've never tried it. Wearing a hat/scarf/etc. when unmarried is not really a good thing (at least, not if you don't want to confuse people and potentially miss matches), so I never put my hair up outside the house.

Anna, all non-modern married orthodox women in the US cover, although some will let their hair show out of the bottom of a hat. The exception would be much older women, because apparently women in the U.S. didn't cover back in the 50s and 60s.

Maggie said...

I wonder how hair coverings would be viewed in the world of academia? I usually cover my hair when at Church and whenever I am in public I always have a hat, though that's more for warmth in the winter and shade in the summer. I've never considered covering at work but hmmm...intriguing concept. Do any of the other ladies here cover while at work?

Laura H. said...

Greetings all! What an interesting subject to talk about. I must say, that I have gone through the headcovering bit, before.


Well, here are some ideas that I used, when I was younger.I made headcoverings, and wore them for a long time. Once in awhile, I wear them,a kerchief, to keep my hair out of my face. I trimmed my hair, once in a while, when it was uneven. Mostly I put it up in hairpins,hair net, or a braid. I love my hair. My hair did show under the headcovering.

So, why do you have to cut your hair? You can't bind it up, or braid it? I don't know the Jewish Laws. Braiding to me would be easier, that way I wouldn't lose my hair.

Just some thoughts!

Laura H.

ruizbe82 said...

There are so many beautiful ways of wearing those head coverings that it makes a girl want to wear one just for how feminine it looks!

I was looking through the links provided by a few readers and I just love how the crown tie looks. Just love it! Crown, dutch and butterfly were my favs, but the others there were really pretty, too. It looks as though your options for scarves are plenty. :)

Ashley S. said...

I have to admit, Anna, that I looked at tznius.com about a month ago and since then I've been wearing the occasional tichel. People say it makes me look like a gypsy. *shrugs* I find it really keeps me hair up and out of the way - I'm in Kansas and the wind blows!!! I don't bother putting it in a bun first - I just twist it up a bit as if I was going to - then just tie it all up.

My hair is thin so I have to use the 4 thin clips like for an amish covering or it slids. I can't even wear a scarf without them or it will get yanked off my head or slid too easily!

Most of the time my hair is at least UP. About half the time covered. Very rarily down unless it is just the family (husband and two sons). I find my hair pleases my husband too much to cut it! And there is something wonderful about keeping it special for him - he loves to take the clips out of my hair and watch it tumble down . . . it makes me feel like a princess!

The Chatty Housewife- said...

Does every inch of the hair need to be covered? Just wondering. I looked up "snoods" and it looks like parts of the hair still show. I would think a head scarf would cover the top of the head, but not the long flowing part of the hair. So what part has to be covered?

Anna S said...

Yes, all of my hair needs to be covered. With snoods, it depends on how you wear them, they can easily cover everything. I can tie my hair in a bun, wrap a long scarf around it, then wrap the scarf around my head. This way, all of my hair will be covered.

The Chatty Housewife- said...

Thanks for answering my questions. Some of the head coverings are so beautiful.

Rebekah S. said...

Headcoverings, I think, are also a beautiful way for an unmarried daughter to show that she is under authority and protection-the authority and protection of her father.

Karen said...

Perhaps you could sew one? I always thought that would be a kind of fun and neat little project. Too bad I can't sew. :( Well, I can stitch, but everything I stich falls apart...lol.