If you haven't read this excellent post already, go ahead and take a look. Mrs. Parunak describes in a beautiful way the importance of being attractive and seductive for our husbands, just as it is important to express modesty and chastity towards the rest of the world.
I've been married less than two months, and love my husband dearly, but sometimes I'm completely wiped out from daily work. In addition, my husband works very hard and there are days when he comes home so late at night that we both need to struggle to keep ourselves awake and spend some time together - which, we both realize, is a very important habit to form if we want to achieve long-lasting closeness and intimacy.
Our media paints men as hardened and insensitive, but in my opinion, nothing could be further from the truth. A husband takes off all defenses with his wife, and constant rejection or neglect from her part might eventually make him feel bitter and unappreciated.
Life isn't a Hollywood movie, and there are many things that can make you feel anything but sexy. You might be, for example, pregnant and suffering from nausea and a low energy level; distracted by the demands of small children and running a household; simply feeling unwell, physically or emotionally; or all of the above.
I'm not a mother yet, and I realize older and wiser women might have more to say from their experience, but I'm convinced there is a way to keep the fire burning and fall even more deeply in love with our husbands. How come? God intended us to be mothers and homemakers. But He also wants us to be lovers to our husbands ("rejoice with the wife of thy youth") - and since He wants both, and He wouldn't ask us to do the impossible, it means this can be done - only we need to work hard for it.
For me, it means first and foremost keeping focus: my husband is the most important person in my life, and our marriage is the most precious gift the Lord has given me. Anyone or anything that tries to convince me otherwise, or pull my heart in a different direction, is a dangerous influence and must be avoided.
When I come home, one of the first things I do is take off my head covering and let my hair fall free. I might also take off something I'm wearing (I often wear layers), and leave something shorter and/or tighter I would allow outside. I know my husband loves and enjoys it.
A godly marriage shouldn't be boring. It can be exciting, romantic, and filled with joy. There are many women out there, young and beautiful and unburdened with children and keeping a home, yet because they give bits and pieces of themselves to different men, they are unable to fully enjoy intimacy. We have an advantage of the very special freedom in the security of being wives. Let's make the most of it.