I felt I simply had to say a word or two about this article, which was sent to me by email. It talks about a woman who pretended to be infertile in order to promote her career, despite her husband's desire to have children:
"I started taking folic acid and calcium and stopped drinking alcohol. But secretly I kept taking the pill. I felt terrible but I knew that if I got pregnant now I would lose my job, I figured this was the best way to keep everyone happy.
Today I am 46 and have pretty much missed out on my chance to have children.
No job is that important. If only I'd realised this 10 years ago."
If you follow the link to read the entire article, be careful - it produced a lot of response from readers, much of it unfit for a lady, in my opinion. Many accused this woman of being a monster who ruined her husband's life, and I agree that it's truly a horrible thing to do - lie to one's husband, methodically, month after month and year after year, seeing the disappointment on his face again and again, until finally he gives up hope.
Yet I can't help but feel sorry for her. How much brainwashed and twisted education does it take to make a woman believe pregnancy is a disaster to be avoided at all costs? How terrible it must be, in her perception, that she was ready to lie to her husband, endlessly, depriving herself and her marriage of the beautiful gift the Lord could have given? How many lies must be told for a woman to think she has all the time in the world to have children - while in fact, our bodies won't remain healthy and young forever, and the clock is ticking? What a tragedy for this married couple.
Something else I would like to mention today - to allow us to move to brighter (and probably more interesting) matters later on - in the past weeks I received several notes from ladies who asked me how to control negative comments from anonymous readers who lurk on blogs and spill all their antagonism.
I receive my share of negative comments, and most of the time, I ignore them. At your little corner of the web, you are the one who determines what will be discussed. If you received criticism and feel it challenges you in an interesting and productive way, and you feel inclined to respond, by all means do that. If you feel your time and energy can be put to better use, don't bother. Better not let yourself be bullied into an uncontrolled public debate by argumentative anonymous visitors who say that you are weak and lacking confidence if you don't publish their comment and respond to it.
If someone thinks I'm wasting my life being "just" a wife, while my husband has a fun, exciting and much more rewarding job - they may continue to think so.
I will remain dedicated to my marriage and home (and hopefully, future children, as the Lord sees fit to bless us). And I will keep praising my husband - no, not for doing whatever he wants in the tempting and exciting world out there - but for doing his duty and working hard to provide for us.
If people decide my convictions stem from leading a sheltered and over-protected existence, and from knowing nothing different, I have no time to debate and prove otherwise. I and the regular readers of this blog know that I was exposed to dangerous influences just like any other teen in my generation; worked full time and part time since I was 16, outside and inside the home; got a university degree; sought my path; believe me, I tasted a lot of our culture's temptations - and eventually came to faith in God and to the simple desire to have a good marriage and a strong family and a sweet, peaceful home.
Some may think I'm unsuccessful since I don't seek to have more power and influence in the world than my husband.
But I have no need of that. I would much rather be a joyful helpmeet to my husband, and treat him like a king. In return he treats me like his queen. I give him my all, and he lays his life down at my feet, my knight in shiny armor who goes out every day to the battles of life, and desires nothing more than to return to a safe haven in the evening. Would I throw it all away for a fathom of independence? Not a chance.