Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Why I love being married

The time that passed since our wedding has been the happiest in my life so far; marriage is nothing like I imagined in my rosy visions as a single woman, though. It's more wonderful, difficult, challenging and rewarding than anything I could possibly think of when I tried to picture myself married.

Mr. T and I are a normal couple. We have our disagreements; while we believe that God brought us together, and while we noticed many similarities between us from the beginning, the fact remains that we are two adults from completely different backgrounds, with our separate habits, lifestyles, hobbies, approaches to various situations – all of this requires adjustment. When you are single, you only have to put up with yourself (this, too, isn't easy at times!). When you make the decision to share your life with another person, you must work towards understanding each other, while each of you gives in to meet the other's needs. This oneness, the feeling that from now on, you are a team, is probably the most beautiful part of marriage.

A day after we were married, I woke up with the most joyous realization: there will be no more dating! No more introductions; no more anguish in waiting; no more searching. Maybe some of you met your spouse without even planning to, and never even felt the pangs of singleness. But those of you who have been single and looking for a long time will understand me. Not that my time of singleness has been unhappy – but I'm so delighted to start on the road of marriage at the same time.

Every day I wake up by the man who placed a ring on my finger and committed in front of God and men to love, honor and protect me. I feel the priceless freedom of security and of knowing that I can open up to my husband, who is now the only man in the world – and for whom I am the only woman in the world. The richness and depth of love in a God-honoring, committed marriage is something that can never be found elsewhere.

As many of you probably know, my husband and I didn't even hold hands until we were married. When you commit yourself to complete physical purity prior to marriage, the rewards reaped afterwards are incredible. The knowledge that all physical pleasure has been saved for marriage makes even simple things like holding hands or cuddling before bedtime especially meaningful.

Marriage means losing certain freedoms and accepting a range of responsibilities. God loves seeing a happy marriage, because it means that both husband and wife are learning the virtues of selflessness, patience, kindness and humility. I am so thankful for being on this journey.

... On a related note, be sure to check out this post by Terry: "We have reduced the concept of a happy marriage to the definition of a soul mate that is no deeper than what you would find in the average Hollywood movie. We forsake all wisdom, parental guidance, and advice, and marry because we are “in love” and then are shocked when the marriage isn’t all we thought it would be..."

19 comments:

Buffy said...

I am so happy that you are happy!

I remember thinking "wow, no more dating, that game is over with, thank goodness" too.

Terry said...

I shared your sentiment after I was married: "Thank goodness, no more dating!" It's a wonderful feeling indeed.

I am so glad that you are experiencing such joy in your married life.

...And I am honored that you linked to my post.

Anonymous said...

I told my husband the same thing after we married, and he agreed passionately. Men risk so much rejection in modern dating- and men who treat women with traditional respect are often derided to the point of abuse. Marriage is a shelter from the corrosive rain of modern culture, enabling us to be the men and women God wants us to be.

yoshi3329 said...

oh I so happy for you!

http://adlynmorrison.blogspot.com/

elena rulli said...

The more I read of you and your life, the more I wish I had a sister like you! We are very different, in some aspects even opposite, but you are very dear to my heart and I wish you all happiness in this world and beyond! On a side note, even a day too late, happy independence, I hope one day you'll rejoice with your Palestinian sisters and brothers!
Love
Elena

Hildegard said...

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Your security and happiness in marriage give me courage to keep living a pure, single life until God brings the right man into my life.

Kelly said...

I'm so happy for you Anna. You are blessed that you entered into marriage with a better understanding, than most, of what a marriage is. Everyone has those little bumps on the road to organizing two lives together, but knowing that this is a normal transition helps a lot!
I too was so happy about the idea of "no more dating" even almost seven years into my marriage I remind myself of my single years, and how unhappy they were and then suddenly any little quirk of my hubby's that is bother me doesn't seem so bad.
Kelly

Rachelle said...

I love your wedding pictures- they are all beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing these sweet thoughts, Anna. I am confident that your feelings for your husband will grow only stronger with the passage of time. You are wise enough to know that each day will not be rosy...but you're looking to share with your husband the "range of responsibilities", as you put it. Surely, God will bless this!

Brenda

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your beautiful reflection on marriage. Your blog is always an inspiration, and I wish you all the best in your new life with your husband. Thank you for writing!

E03 said...

so good to hear this, thank you for the encouragement.

i'm on the single end of things, just realizing how much the Lord will have to provide my spouse if i will ever marry. i want to be trusting enough of Him to now STOP LOOKING. i could never find the right person myself anyway. if he does bring me someone, it will be a miracle. my own red sea parting :)

Mrs. Rabe said...

Happy Independence Day, Mrs Anna!

Congratulations on your happiness! May God continue to bless your lives!

Sheila said...

I love your heart! And I love Israel! Happy Independence day!

I pray for Her peace!

Sheila

Jeannine said...

I'm rejoicing you're so happy and fulfilled!
Our church wedding is finally coming close too. Just six more weeks...

All things bright & beautiful... said...

I love visiting with you. It is so lovely to read about a godly young woman and now of course... a godly young wife!
Marriage is a great blessing and I love to hear about pople who are enjoying being married. In today's world so many people moan about the marriage and humiliate their husbands.
It is refreshing to see the good for a change!

lady jane said...

I'm sitting next to my husband, using his laptop to read a few blogs. We agree with your assessemnt...wholey and completely.

Bless your day, sweet AnnaT. :o)

Kristy said...

So glad you are enjoying marriage- it grows sweeter every year!

I love your new blog header... what a beautiful picture from your wedding day.

~Kristy @ Homemaker's Cottage

Karen said...

You have such a great attitude about marriage! It reminds me how lucky and blessed I am too. I definitely relate to what you said about realizing you were done with dating!! To me it was never the fun, carefree time it was shown to be in movies and on t.v. It was always, "What did I do wrong that this great guy doesn't like me?" or a lot of "How do I break things off and cause the least amount of pain?"

MarkyMark said...

Congrats on no longer having to date! Oh, how I HATE dating! I hate it so much anymore that I no longer choose to do it...