Q: Do you know how I can act to be more feminine and gentle? I know its a broad subject, but has there been anything you've learnt to change in the ways you relate to others? I don't want to repress my personality and be fragile and bland at all, but do want to be sweet and delicate.
I must tell you there have been periods in my life when I felt completely un-feminine. As a child I loved to climb trees and get my knees bruised playing outside, and there's no way you could make me wear a skirt! I act more feminine now, but I assure you, it has nothing to do with being weak or bland.
There is no magical recipe for gentleness and femininity, and I'm certainly far from being an authority figure. But I have discovered that our state of mind is greatly impacted by our surroundings, what we wear, and how we behave. Often, people who are depressed are advised to keep a happy expression on their face, even if it's fake. After some time, they really start feeling happier.
The same is true for being feminine. The more you act femininely, even if at first it doesn't feel natural, the more it becomes a part of you. After all we are women, and even if we weren't taught to behave in a gentle and feminine way, it is somewhere deep inside us - we just need to let it out.
Dress in long, flowing, feminine garments made of delicate fabrics in soft colors. Long dresses and skirts make you feel wonderfully feminine and if you didn't use to wear a lot of skirts, after a few days you will notice how comfortable it gets. You might need to adjust your skirts before you sit down. Make sure you take care of basic grooming, such as combed hair and clean fingernails. It might sound trivial, but the truth is that too many girls neglect their appearance these days.
Surround yourself with prettiness - flowers, pictures, soothing music. Put a pretty tablecloth on the table, with a lovely centerpiece. If you do any kind of needlework, take it out and do it while listening to classical music. Or do something equally soothing and gentle, like making cards or writing a beautiful letter. I know it probably sounds very simplistic, but it does make you feel feminine and with time it becomes second nature.
Watch your step and posture, and walk gracefully. Don't walk too quickly if there is no need of it. Also, watch your voice - is it soft and gentle? Is it unnecessarily loud? Are you being tactful, speaking your opinion when there is real need of it - or are you doing everything possible simply to make yourself heard? I don't equal voiceless with feminine, but I believe pushiness isn't a feminine feature.
Be generous with your smiles, your helpfulness, and your cheerfulness towards those who surround you. Show hospitality and good manners. If a neighbour is walking by and it's a hot day, offer them a glass of lemonade after saying hello, or at least some cold water. Many repairmen and plumbers who visited us over time were pleasantly surprised when we offered them something refreshing to drink after they worked hard for hours.
Most importantly, cultivate a kind, gentle and loving spirit, which is the truest essence of a real lady. It will shine through in your words and your actions, and you will be unmistakeably seen for who you are.