Monday, November 17, 2008

An inspiring young lady

I received a very inspiring reply to a post I wrote a while ago, and since it was sent to the comments thread, I hope the young lady who wrote won't mind me publishing it in a separate post to share with you all.

"My name is Machelle, I'm 18 years old and currently (miserably) attend college as an art major. Why? Because, as I'm sure you know, I was told all throughout school that you will fail at life if you don't go to college.

God gave me a contradictory gift; although I'm nearly legally blind, I can draw and paint. He blessed me with the gift to record the world, either the real one or the images He graces through my imagination, realistically and almost effortlessly. And so my friends and family all told me I must go to college, get my Master's in art, and become a world famous artist, and for a while, I liked the idea. My work was (is) selling, I was humbly blessed with honors and awards for my work, and when I earned a full-ride to college for my portfolio, I was overjoyed.

But college life, in a nutshell, is torture. My teachers make me cry, the counselors are unhelpful. My art teacher even went so far as to insist I am "a modern liberated woman!" and didn't need anyones help, despite the fact that I was currently making a fool of myself in front of the whole class by being unable to loosen the bolts on my easle. I'm quitting after the next semester is over, and most of my extended family is devastated. "But you're so talented!" they tell me, and ask what I'm going to do all day, clean?

Sure, happily. And cook, and bring out my sewing again. Learn to make my grandmother's noodles and and glace. All sorts of more useful skills than sitting through a two-hour lecture on the different ways to draw a line (yes, that actually WAS a class!)

My family is sad because they think I'm wasting my talents, but I fear they don't realize that God gave me an even greater blessing; a smart mind with which I made the decision to be homeward bound. He gave me the desire for family, the intelligence to look over the lies of feminism. And he gifted me with the compensation for hindering my eyesight. I can't drive, and could not get a job if, God forbid, my future husband and I ever fell on hard times. If it ever did get to the point where, for whatever reason, we needed a few extra dollars, drawing portraits is something I could do in the evenings, quickly and joyfully, to help my family through life's rough patches. I've always loved art, but I want my finest masterpiece to be my home!"

This dear young girl's testimony isn't only encouraging in its boldness; it's informative. It's a perfect example of today's prevalent attitude. When a young lady exhibits a certain talent, be it in music, arts, science, or anything really, she is told, "How wonderful! You should develop this," - and should I even mention that when talking about developing and promoting a young lady's talents, people rarely mean anything that might also prepare her as a future wife and mother.

(Then there's also, inevitably, the argument of, "but she's so young, who knows, she might never get married at all" - saying this is, in most cases, out of touch with reality, because most women do get married. If a young woman feels she will be inclined to get married at some point in her life, she must prepare to the duties of a wife with all seriousness.)

One must also wonder about college itself. Some people report that they had wonderful college experience, both in terms of education and in the dominating moral environment they found on campus. However, others - after finishing, with relief, a dozen boring years of institutionalized schooling - find themselves yet again in a class where they are spoon-fed mostly useless information. Others soon realize it's pointless to cram your short-term memory with disconnected facts, then spit them out during an examination. And some feel their emotional, spiritual, and even physical well-being is endangered by the so-called "carefree college life".

Of course, if one plans to become an engineer, a doctor, or a researcher in the field of molecular biology, the college path is probably inevitable. But a young lady who is home-drawn, whose primary goals are to become a wife and mother, might eventually realize that she has an option to continue her education and pursue her talents - from home. And it's a shame this option is so rarely mentioned.

Furthermore, not even every young man must have a college education. Some become independent professionals, after an apprenticeship. Others have talents that can be developed not only through sitting in class, listening to lectures, and paying a whole lot of money for it each year. We are just so strongly programmed to think that college equals success, or rather, that no college equals failure; that we cannot be successful professionals, or even accomplished adults, without four years spent on campus and a diploma adorning our wall.

College education is often ridiculously expensive - and takes years, during which we are supposed to put our life on hold, and delay marriage, family, and the real responsibilities that come with it. Many people find themselves later on working in a completely different field, while still carrying the burden of student loans. In my humble opinion, it's time to think outside the box and - no, not dismiss the college option in the first place - but to see whether there are more creative, more effective, more practical and less expensive ways to educate ourselves.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a very articulate young lady! She has such a "can do" attitude, & that's something a lot of college students don't have. Many are motivated, it's true, but I've seen just as many that are simply putting in their time, & either bored silly or tormented by a horrible & unfriendly environment. Good post. :o)

Brenda

Becky said...

I've never thought about it before, but you're right -- most women do get married, yet no modern education prepares a woman for the tasks of domesticity. Of course, most women learn from their mothers, but what if a mother is delinquent in teaching? My mother recalls "home economics" classes in high school, where she learned cooking, knitting, sewing, even decorating skills. I think those types of classes have all but disappeared? The world seems to be training women to be pseudo-men, apparently. We need to have all the skills required by a man to function in the world, so none of us are ever taught and prepared for the job we do end up taking, that of wife and mother! What a crazy world we live in.

Holly said...

It is very encouraging to read stories like this from women close to my age. I'm 20 and with my husband decided not to go to college. You would think that I planned to stop breathing or something! Both of our families are on us about school. It makes me sad that we have gotten so far away from God and his plans. Not that working or college is wrong in itself, but that we force it upon women as if it's the ONLY sane choice. Thanks for posting this. Have a great week!

Teresa said...

I didn't go to college and my husband only went for a year. My husband has his own woodworking business that provides a comfortable income. We aren't "rich but I am blessed to stay at home with my children. i haven't had to work all of my married life and I am glad that I don't. I too have been nagged about going to school "just in case" (it's really irritating). Sometimes all you can do is say that you don't want to and deal with other's disapproval. Besides it's between you, your husband and God.

Scrapqueen said...

Although I went to college and really enjoyed it I have been a stay at home mom since my little girl was born. These days a college education doesn't guarantee one will get a job in their field of study or a job at all. From what I have seen where I live in the States more employers are looking for experience. My husband has a degree as a computer network technician and is even certified. However no one will hire him because he doesn't have experience. But one can't get experience unless they are hired to do the work. See, never ending cycle.

Anonymous said...

Anna,
While I have read your blog and enjoyed, I am a woman who has always had a great talent and enjoyment for academics. I enjoyed my time in college and I enjoy my occupation. I am married and I assure you between my husband and I our house is in decent order and we are both pretty good cooks. I see nothing qrong with a girl/woman who feels she should stay at home, but just as some are inclined to do that, others of us are not.

Mrs.KAOS said...

I think both men and women should have some form of education in how to be domestic partners. Many men and women don't know how to communicate or what is needed to run a family.

Bethany Hudson said...

My husband and I both went to college--both because we wanted to, and because our careers required it. I will actually be returning to get my Master's Degree in a couple of years after my babies are a bit older. But, I love the stories of my husband's family where he is the ONLY college graduate. His father has been mildly successful as a sort of jack of all trades--he's received certification in a number of fields and an Associates Degree but no bachelor's. His uncle has become an extremely wealthy contractor in Montecito with no degree. His aunt is a very profitable hair stylist in Santa Barbara--again, no degree. And all of his cousins are stable and married as EMTs, nurses, and firemen, also in Southern California. Now, not everyone can afford a decent home in Southern California without a degree, but it is possible, if you can still do what you want/are good at without that degree.
~Bethany

Lori said...

"Furthermore, not even every young man must have a college education. Some become independent professionals, after an apprenticeship"

Yes! In many US cities, good plumbers and mechanics can make more than financal advisors, accountants, and even engineers. You wouldn't get the perks, but for what you're making from age 20-ish, you can compensate (there are other sources of ins).

Good for this girl. Wish I'd had as much sense.

Anonymous said...

I will apologize in advance, as I've constructed a long answer and as it remains unedited--it may seem graceless and blunt. I find this young woman's story very sad. Because there is an inkling of desire to excuse life choices to family and those who dearly care, the sense of purposefulness is confounded with ultimate goals in life.

There's more to career in art than portraiture. In this day and age, when women can expect to live long productive lives, there's not use in shooting one's self in the foot because of a 'they don't like me' attitude.

Sure, women can prepare themselves for homemaking, childcare, etc. but it is not an extensive course for quick minds, One doesn't drop out to pursue personal self-education and then immediately expect to find a husband to start a family. In the meantime, no husband shows up and who pays the room and board? Much more reasonable to have a back-up plan for figuring out how to contribute to society if that plum Holly Homemaker role isn't there.

But. there's nothing wrong at all with living on one's own to become engaged in learning necessary life-skills for taking care of one's own household. We call it 'dropping out to find more meaningfulness' not 'deciding that we don't like art school anymore because someone made fun of me, and therefore I can't stay in any college to finish for a degree'.

There's of course no reason to engage in self-punishment, but surely the art school involves more than one aspect of education? Attending class, practicing, engaging in discussion, experimenting with different forms of art, attending or involving oneself in the art experience--one should never have too much time as a student. If so, then there's always the part-time job or volunteering. Patience is also a virtue along with moderate expectations.

A class in drawing lines is only one class, hopefully it was passed the first time so that it doesn't need to be repeated. In any profession there are elements that require discipline and just completion. I recall there was this one 3-hr class twice a week in the curriculum where one part was to learn to make perfect labels on a manual typewriter and there were only four typewriters for our class of 24, as well I had not learned to type. I spent nearly half the class at those silly machines and only didn't fail because I made sure to prepare everything else to a 'T'.

My assumptions may be off-base but with only a year of art school what are the chances of finding a good job to support oneself while learning domestic arts? Hard work at a minimum wage job doesn't leave much time for breadbaking and climbing the work ladder with commensurate payscale until Mr. Right comes along.

Sometimes, it takes a while for people to have enough life experiences to decide what will be their motivation to do the best for themselves and their families.

What about getting into a two-year vocational course to obtain a certifiable skill, or apprenticing a baker, etc. so the job allows both time to earn the income and time to learn the desirable homemaking skills?

Unless independently wealthy, most people have to work somewhere to be able to afford the expenses of life. In the instances of students, they get a break because they're expected to contribute to society some day. One doesn't make the best contribution to society with hidden unique talents by following a non-self-empowering path.

If there is opportunity to take college courses from excellent teachers, now is the best time to throw herself into the learning program instead of quitting school because others are 'making fun'.

As a parent, my goal was to give my children care and motivation so that they would be able to contribute to society in a meaningful way, while standing on their own in their own place; not for them to want to look for ways to live off others, or dishonestly tell themselves lies as to why they couldn't be the best they could be.

Natalie Rose said...

Hi! I recently found your blog and have been reading it with great enjoyment.
This topic is very close to my heart and I am glad to see such an insightful post about it. I am one of those women who have felt pressured by family and society to continue her education even while feeling drawn to being a full time homemaker. I did four years in a phd program, even continuing after my marriage, before being "obliged" to stop by a difficult pregnancy. Now I am home full time with my precious baby, caring for him, my husband, and my home, and I have never been happier. My parents always asks me when I will go back and finish my degree, and I always put them off with vague answers, but the truth is, I never want to go back. I am finally fulfilling my vocation, and it has nothing to do with papers and conferences and lectures.
I talk to a lot of other young women who also feel pressured to continue their education when they really want to be wives and mothers, and they often say that their higher education is an obstacle to starting a family. Many men are intimidated by them and their success and won't look at them as potential mates. While it is wonderful that women have the option of further developing their intellects and careers, it is sad that it is so often seen as a duty that conflicts with what they know deep down is their calling.

Ace said...

Hi Anna,

Hope all is well with you and yours.

I think college is an artfully conceived web by an amazingly masterful spider. Come closer little fly and believe the lie and die tangled in my web.

From the start parents set their children on the path of pursing fame and fortune at all costs. If you look at the end result everyone wants...it is riches. The pursuit of this goal leads almost always to enslavement. Debt, compromise and losing sometimes entire families. Sacrificed in the fire of fortune.

Women leave their homes in droves, put off beyond reason any attempt at making a good marriage and indebt themselves for life so...WHAT? They can then devote themselves to PAYING for the education that was going to be their salvation?

While God has blessed and sheltered me, I shudder to think of all the time and resources I missused. Instead of playing soccer and cheerleading for hours and hours each week, I could have learned to care for children and a household. To PROSPER my future family. Instead of working myself into a near coma to pay for my "road to easy street" (only to get there and immediatly be exposed to the most base things in life without the covering of my parents) I could have cultivated a skill or crafts to benefit me and my family in the future.

I can only pray God will use this to benefit my Daughters. That my waste will become their blessings.

Many Blessings :)
Ace

Anonymous said...

no modern education prepares a woman for the tasks of domesticity, because sadly, our modern feminist society has told young women that being a homemaker is wrong and only for the unintelligent or oppressed and that a woman can't be fulfilled unless she goes to college and has a career. I've been a homemaker and mother for 18 years, my mother taught me that being a wife and mother was my true calling and I am fulfilled and happy. I wouldn't trade my years home with my children for all the money in the world. I am happy that I followed the path God intended me to follow as a woman and i'm happy to say my daughter wants to be a homemaker when she grows up.

Sarah K said...

In the UK an option that many people take up is OU, or Open University. This was set up to enable people unable to attend University at the 'traditional' time (ie straight from school) to gain academic qualifications and to further their study in areas of interest. People study at home, with course books and video lectures, as well as the occasional weekend school or study day. It usually takes much longer than the standard three years, because most people study while working or caring for their children. My cousin's wife has been studying for about eight years while bringing up her children, and I believe is due to graduate soon.

I certainly agree that college/university is not for everyone. I loved my time at University, made fantastic friends, was never pressurised into drugs/sex/drinking. At school we had technology lessons, which covered cooking, textiles, woodwork, metalwork, and basic electronics. All of these have prooved very useful in my home!

Sammi said...

You might want to share with the young lady this link:

http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/Homemaking_and_Other_Practical_Topics_15/All_Things_Are_Possible_24381002438.shtml

It's about a homemaker who is legally blind. Perhaps it will help her.

Emily G. said...

Anna,

Thank you for sharing this young woman's story with us! I feel bad for her and know exactly where she's coming from.
My family has the blessing of tuition remission at a large city university through my father's job. I began to take courses there at the age of sixteen, while finishing my homeschooled high school courses. I was under so much pressure from my parents, and especially my extended family. Some of my relatives even went so far as to tell me they really hoped that I didn't 'waste' the education I was getting by becoming a stay at home mum like my mother did. (She has 6 years of college). I was very unhappy in school. I felt like it was a waste of my time. I wasn't learning much, and what I did learn was so watered down with modern liberal ideas that it was pretty hard to filter through. I desperately wanted to quit. Having the courage to make that decision and carry it out was very hard for me. My relatives were terribly disappointed, accusing, and angry. They said I was wasting my intelligence and my free tuition, probably no one would marry me for years, and no one wants to marry an 'uneducated' woman anyway. At seventeen and a half, I quit school. I spent my time working and saving up my money, and learning skills that would help me be a better wife and mother. I also continued to study on my own, learning things that I consider valuable for future homeschooling instead of things that our modern colleges consider valuable. I never learned anything in college that I wanted to pass on to my children. I married at nineteen, to a man with two bachelors degrees and a master's in progress. He thinks I'm smart, he does not think I'm ill educated. He very much values the comfortable home I keep for him. And all my relatives arent' quite sure what to say.

Anonymous said...

college can be good in some intstances for for me I think I wasted alot of time and ended up with some bad company.

I was a theatre major and unforunately for artists it is one of the worst areas for being told the lies this young lady is being told. But here it the cool thing about an artistic calling...You can do it from home! Most of my best oportunities during college didn't come from college theatre...in fact it caused a big fuss becaus I was working in the community and not adhering to the usual "track"
you can be an artist anywhere and its one of the few professions where noone really cares about the peice of paper. the only good and art degree of any time if you really want a profession as acollege art teacher (and even then most unversities make allowances)

I'm a wife now and I still do theatre, paint and sculpt. When we have kids I'm sure theatre will take a back seat but its something I can do when I want. Later on I hope it something that I can share with my children and help them grow to be creative individuals.

-Erika

Kristy Howard said...

Scrapbook Queen brought out a good point: a college education isn't a garantee that you'll land a great career. My husband's cousin (a guy) graduated with a very good (expensive) college degree and, 3 years later, has still been unable to find a job in his field.

Not everyone ends up jobless after college, but it does go to show ua that a good education isn't a magic solution for a great future (or that it will automatically give us something to "fall back on"). Parents would be wise to pray for their young adult children's decisions regarding college and career, not just hustle them off to university in order to "make something of themselves". We are not all cut out of the same mold; obviously the young lady whose letter you posted is an example of someone whose dreams and talents would be better developed- and put to use- elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

In general, the advantage of college is that it guarantees something to 'fall back on', which is why parents push it so adamantly. It's not for everyone, and I have one child who I will not encourage down that path. But if at all possible, college is good for the extra security. It's probably the easiest way to create a good resume.

Personally, I would be bitterly disappointed if my daughters decided to stay home after high school, to learn homemaking. I don't think I would allow it. I would encourage (and pay for) university if they are academic enough, and if not, college, or learning a vocation.
Why? First, because this is the one big opportunity girls will have to gain those formal skills (before husband and especially kids come along). I think it IS crucial a woman have professional training even if she is planning on staying home after marriage. Especially in such tough times.

Second...to put it bluntly, a girl is far less valued in the marriage market if she has only a high school diploma to show. (I am assuming we are discussing girls who are marriage-minded). All the 'good' men I know are looking for well-educated girls with some professional training.
(Anna, this is especially true in Orthodox circles, where dates are set up). Even if I truly believed a girl should stay home after high school, I would send her off to study something so she wouldn't be at such a harsh disadvantage when searching for a mate.

Third, the basics of homemaking (laundry, simple cooking, basic cleaning) can be learned within a few months. I don't think a woman needs to know how to crochet, make jam, or whip up a 5 star meal before her wedding. I think my daughters' time after high school would be much better served attaining formal training or a degree. A girl can learn how to decorate cakes once she's married; indeed, that's the perfect time to putter around and experiment. In contrast, it's not the perfect time to study till 3 am for your semester finals.
Sorry this is so long....
Tammy

andrea said...

While I enjoyed my college experience overall, I don't blame this young lady for wanting to quit school. No one has to feel like their life will be worthless if they don't go to college.

When my future children are that age, I'm not going to push them to go to college. I'll allow them to make their own decisions, but I'm not going to disapprove of them if they choose not to.

~Emily~ said...

Well said! I agree with all your points, Anna. (I do go to college - microbiology - but agree that it certainly is not for everyone.)

TheRetroHousewife said...

I have to say to this girl, go with your decision. I too was an artist and my family tried to pressure me into attending a college (that I got a scholarship to) and become an artist. When I decided not to go they were so upset and couldnt understand why I didnt want to use my talents, why I was wasting them. What they didnt understand is they pressured me to the point where art was no longer fun, it no longer brought me joy. That was nearly 13 years ago and I am just now starting to find joy in my talents again. Quit and follow your heart, quit before the joy of your talents leaves you completely.

Anonymous said...

What a smart, strong young woman... I wish I was like her! Rather, I will be graduating from college with an English degree, after having dropped out three times. I know that college is not for me, as all I want to be is a wife! I am engaged, and will actually be married a few months before I graduate. After I graduate (my college is paid for, so I have no money worries!) I will be a housewife, and though I know my family will be angered by this, I cannot wait!

-B

Kaeus said...

unfortunately society (at least here in australia) is geared towards university (college) education. despite having worked in her job for longer than nearly anyone else at her company and having all the relevant qualifications, my mother was unable to recieve a pay raise - because she didnt have a degree. so in her 50s she went to university, continuing her education for the first time since she was 15. she worked as a teacher, so did her degree in adult education, but as far as the company was concerned it didnt matter what the degree was - it could have been in underwater basket weaving or molecular bio-mechanics - as long as it was A DEGREE.

fortunately some places are beginning to see how silly this is, and are accepting that perhaps years of working in the field is more valuable than a piece of paper than says you listened well for 3 years, but my husband could still have got a better wage if he had said paper. its a sad sad turn of events.

Mrs. Anna T said...

Tammy, I agree with you that in modern Israeli society, a girl is less valued in the "marriage market" if she has no career ambitions. I know it was this way for me. I wanted to marry a man who is willing to support his family, and there are just very few men like that. However, being clear about what I want also "cleared the area" for the RIGHT man - my husband. My point is, if a woman is domestically inclined, the right man WILL show up - even if otherwise she could get married sooner...

As to being able to learn more "advanced" domestic skills after marriage... personally, I have no idea how I could have done that. Three weeks after our wedding, I was already pregnant, followed by a trimester of mostly lying around on the couch with nausea and fatigue. Then there's adjustment to life as a couple, many young couples (like us) move several times in their first year of marriage, and now... well, as you and all the other ladies here know, we're expecting a baby in less than two months. I'm very, very happy I learned baking, crocheting, knitting, jam-making and other useful skills before marriage - because it doesn't look as though I will have too much spare time anywhere in the near future.

Anonymous said...

I'm not saying crocheting and making jam are not important to learn...I'm just saying that having professional training under one's belt is far more important.

You can learn to make jam or sew stuff as the years go by, while your baby naps, etc. It's much harder to attend university classes during those quiet moments, though.

I agree that homemaking can be a fine art that takes years and years to master. But it can be done after marriage too, as long as you have the basic survival skills of cleaning and cooking. In fact, that's what usually happens....young brides call their moms for advice on how to cook, or how to get a stain out. It truly is a training-on-the-job kind of role.
A few other comments....
College is not the place to go if you want to be an artist. It's like going to college to become a writer. Wrong place. College is where you go for job security...say, to become a drawing teacher in grade school or something. If the girl who wrote you thought college would develop her creativity and make her an artist, she's been misled.

Second....sure, you can be successful if you don't have a degree. But you need to have drive, initiative, street and business smarts, and perhaps a special talent. Otherwise you will be working minimum wage forever. That's why college is so important....it's a great stepping stone for all those who don't have the personality to build a business or whatever.
Tammy

Lori said...

I strongly suspect that what people mean when they say "something to fall back on" is, at least part of the time, is divorce. After all since it happens to 50% of wives, we should be prepared right? So spend four+ years spending money (not saving it), maybe go deep into debt, to be protected. Speaking of gettinga mate, what man would want to marry a woman with $40K or far more of debt? What if she leaves him and sticks him with half (thanks to common property, and debt, laws)? But I digress. Spend $5K or whatever to get an airtight, lock-stock-and-barrel pre-nup, that ensures that if he leaves or does something truly divorce worthy (the sort of thing that brought capital punishment under the mosaic law) she gets full custody of the children, all assets, child support and alimony, etc. There's protection for you. But what if he dies? Well, I got $500K of (term) life ins from a big company for less than $200 per year. That should help. There are ways of protecting form finantial ruin in the case of job loss as well. They are almost all cheaper than university, if that's the only or main reason a young lady is attending.

Anonymous said...

While I'm delighted that this young woman has both a gift and a loving home environment in which to nurture it, I'm very sorry that she is so dismissive of the chance for post-secondary education that many, many people with handicaps long for--and that is still closed to many of them. And as much as many of us Christians, and faithful Jews and others from other religions, want so much to will bad circumstances from our lives due to our faith, the fact is that a woman having a trade or profession, certification, education, etc. IS a sensible hedge against any number of things, many beyond one's control, that may befall a woman in life, including women with children.

I wish this young woman all the best--but I also hope that neither she nor anyone else reading this fine blog will forget that when we present our own views, we do, whether we acknowledge it or not, threaten to condemn those with different views. Post-secondary education of women is and can be a very fine thing; it needn't stop us from doing the more traditional things, IF we feel called to do them. People with disabilities need to be especially mindful of this--many people fought (and are fighting) very, very hard for them.

Anonymous said...

I read this with interest. I went to college (no regrets...it never occurred to me not to go), as my parents (neither one college grads at the time) thought it very important that all of their children go to college. My mother was a homemaker growing up and she went back to school when my youngest sister started school. My mom now has her masters degree and enjoys her work. So, while some, such as yourself may enjoy being a homemaker, I have a hard time believing that it is best for every woman for her entire life.

Linda said...

Ohh, I had those same teachers while I was in teacher-school.... One of them would boldly say how sorry she was if she'd see 'a girl take her diploma, work for just a few years, get married, have kids, and then stay home'....

As if being a teacher of other people's kids was indefinately more important that being a teacher of your own kids.. sigh.

greetings from the netherlands!

Machelle said...

er...wow. I wasn't expecting this when I logged on :) I'm not offended at all that you published this. In fact, I'm humbly flattered. I'm glad that some other people could get something out of this story...
I'm fortunate in the fact that I live in a small Kansas community, where degrees and diplomas are considered "extra's" as in, most people around here don't have them, and if they do, they're just pretty decorations on the wall. My father didn't go to a day of college, but he taught himself to weld, and now he's heading an oil company building rigs.
I've read over all the comments, and I'm so touched. I know there's always going to be those who'll look down on my choice, but they've made theirs, and I'm very happy with mine!

Thank you so much Anna,

God Bless,
Machelle

Bailey said...

Mrs. T, I know I am terribly late in responding to this post. :) But I had a few thoughts.

It seems a bit silly that just because one has talent means he has to become famous for it. Or even accomplished in it. It would greatly flatter my ego if I developed exceptional talent without the help of college. ;)

**
I was asked by a well-meaning Sunday School teacher, after I had said I was not going to college, what I would do if I got a divorce. She suggested that it would be much better to have a degree to fall back on just in case.

What happened to faith? The last time I checked with Him, God said He was stronger than my circumstances or what might happen. Perhaps my husband will die and leave me a widow with several children. Christ said He will never leave me nor forsake me. He said He looks after the sparrows to make sure they are fed and cared for; and surely, He will look after me. If only we women would stop looking at what might happen! There are so many things that might happen that there isn't enough time, degrees or money to prepare for them all. If I was widowed, I know for certain that I would not starve, if I trusted in God and followed His calling for women. There are ways to earn money at home while caring for children, if it came to that. Of course it will not be easy. Nobody ever said following God was.

Where is our faith? If God calls us, we have nothing to do but answer. We are in His hands. This talk about something to fall back on and the Ifs in life may speak of prudence, but strikes me as uncommonly fearful. God created women to be keepers at home, and He did not make any creatures on earth without some sort of defense.

God bless you! And God bless this young lady!

Bailey

Anonymous said...

ALL people deserve to have their intellectual capacities developed to the extent of a college education. To say that college is a waste for a woman who is "just going to stay home," undercuts the dignity of homemakers. College is never a waste. College provides an opportunity to hone your critical thinking skills that is impossible to replicate elsewhere. Where else are women -- especially aspiring homemakers -- going to find an environment in which their assumptions are challenged in such depth, and in which they are forced to defend or revise their interpretations of the world around them and the information they learn in books?

I guess what I am saying is that the life of the mind (and the spiritual life) is what makes us human. I don't like the idea that one class of people (i.e. women who want to stay home) have less need to develop that aspect of themselves to the fullest extent available.

-- Pendragon

Anonymous said...

I also agree with Tammy that the practical skills of homemaking do not require lifelong preparation. The practical aspects of homemaking can be learned on the job.

I am NOT denigrating homemaking when I say this. It is like any other profession or job. Lawyers don't learn the day-to-day skills of lawyering until they are out of school doing it. Our college and law school degrees simply enhance our inner life and/or our philosophical/theoretical approach to the law, but before we actually start working, we generally haven't the foggiest idea how to file a motion or write a will. Similarly, a future homemaker should nurture her intellect first. She can learn how to make dinner any time.

-- Pendragon

Analytical Adam said...

Mrs. Anna I have a Bachelor's degree in Accounting and CPA but I will say only a limited amount that I leared college was useful although I do work in an accounting area but what I learned in college wasn't that important and did not PREPARE ME IN ANY WAY FOR THE WORK WORLD IN ANY WAY and I actually didn't get my first accounting job until 4 years after I graduated. My degree didn't prepare me for much of anything. It is sad though so much college is needed today and so much of the stuff is liberal propoganda that is not true in the real world and overall people are dumber then they were 100 years ago when most people DID NOT go to college.


I also have to say the Orthodox world discriminates against men who don't really go along with this feminist ideology in the Orthodox world and are MORE concerned with a woman's charachter and wanting to be a good mother and wife rather then her job. Yes, I want a women that is intelligent but just having a degree doesn't make you smart.

Men though that don't support the feminist ideology in many Orthodox circles they refuse to help them get married. Furthermore, many Jewish women are using inappropriate behavior to keep jobs (although it may not also work) I have heard women and men seem to think a women to get back at someone can just make claims of sexual harrasement and men who support this are helped more then the men who find this disgusting for a women because of being let go from a job will claim harrasement to get back at the employer for leting her go which a job is not AN ENTITLEMENT but SOME ORTHODOX WOMEN THINK IT IS.

Anonymous said...

Just another thought. Judaism traditionally is a very pragmatic religion, and certainly doesn't balk at being prudent and making sure you're covered 'just in case'. For at least two thousand years, Jewish grooms sign a ketuba at the time of marriage. It's like a prenup, a pledge to pay the bride a set sum of money in case of divorce or death. (Today the sum is more symbolic, usually, and such cases are settled in court).

Divorce, disaster or simply tough financial times don't disappear if you pretend they don't exist. It's best to be prepared, and in today's world, one of the best preparations is for a woman to be able to earn a living should the need arise.

By the way, one of the basic motifs in Judaism is 'hishtadlut'- making an effort. The attitude is one should trust God to provide (or find a match, etc)....but meanwhile it is up to the individual to make all efforts possible to succeed. In other words, God helps those who help themselves.
Tammy