Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I am so blessed

Today, I received a phone call from a friend. She knew I was pregnant, so I expected an inquiry about whether the little one has made her appearance. Instead, I got a... job offer, and a few questions of a different kind.

Didn't I work at all after completing my studies? No, I have been a happy stay-at-home wife. I knew that in a few months, a baby will arrive, and so I took advantage of the time I had. Settling into the role of a wife, and learning how to run a household all on my own, definitely requires some adjustment – and while I'm nowhere near perfect yet, those first months at home were priceless.

I had the time to take care of my health, eat well, sleep and exercise during pregnancy. I didn't have to worry about explaining why some days, I'm less productive, or why I have to use the bathroom more often, or why I have to take time off for various check-ups and visits to my doctor.

Am I finally going to wise up and start using birth control, so I can get my life on track and promote my career? No, I would dearly love to have more babies. Not to mention that I find such inquiries improper. If, when, and how many children each married couple has, is between husband, wife and the Almighty.

After the conversation was over, I realized yet again how very, very fortunate I am. I am blessed beyond measure – beyond anything I deserve.

At twenty-three years old, I am married to my dearest, beloved husband, and we have a home of our own and a sweet baby girl. My husband appreciates the traditional womanly role, and supports me infinitely in my vocation as a wife and mother. There is no need to get my life "on track" – I am already right where I'm needed most, taking care of my family and home, and there's nowhere else I would rather be.

I can spend my days doing productive work at home, instead of running to and from a boring, stressful job. I don't need to think about sending my baby away to daycare in a few short weeks. Nothing threatens to limit the hours during which I can nurse, hold and cuddle my baby. I can enjoy the creativity of home. My husband works long hours, and by being home, I ensure that whenever he can take time off, I'm here.

I have my own realm, where I am truly making a difference, shaping lives, and working towards the future. The Almighty generously blessed me with the gifts of marriage and motherhood, and I praise Him from the depth of my soul and the very essence of my being.

50 comments:

Lara Gisela said...

Dear Anna,
Wonderful post! I was thinking about posting something similar today because I got a job offer this morning and I keep getting them, though everyone knows that I'm not looking for a job and that I am a happy wife, mother and homemaker.
I'm very happy for you and your family. I've been reading your blog for some time so I feel like you are part of my family. I don't always comment but I love to read your blog. Your baby is beautiful and I like her name.
Blessings
Lara

Elizabeth Sue said...

What a lovely post. I am also so greatful that I am a stay at home wife and mom. I have a sweet little two year old. I was praising God too yesterday during a snow storm, my little one and I were eating breakfast and enjoying each other, not fighting the traffic to make it to day care on time. It breaks my heart that my sister in law who had my precious newphew in December is putting him in day care next month. Enjoy your beautiful life dear one.

Elizabeth Sue said...

P.S. I love your daughters name! How beautiful!

~ Denise ~ said...

Dear Anna,
Congratulations to you and your beloved on the birth of your precious daughter (I realize I'm overdue in saying this, as a "silent" reader of your blog).

And a hearty "amein" to your post today. Todah for sharing your heart as you did. It is such a beautiful thing to see a young woman such as yourself, fully delighting in her role as wife and mother. May the Almighty continue to bless you as He has already.

Cherish these days. They go by so very, very fast.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Denise Opper

TheRetroHousewife said...

I'm right there with you Anna. Although I would like to find some kind of work I could do from home like making crafts and selling them. It would be nice to have a bit more income from something I enjoy doing and would normally do anyway.

Thats another reason I want to home school. Soon enough she will be an adult and on her own, I want as much time as possible with her!

Joanna J. said...

Beautiful post, Anna. As always. There is immeasureable joy at home.

Marianne said...

Amen. You are blessed. I think about this so often as I am a work outside the home mom, who recently came to faith. Pretty much everyone in my life, including my husband, believes that a woman not only SHOULD work outside of the home, but MUST work outside of the home. Yet, it's an honorable job to be a daycare worker, cook, or a custodian. Just not when you're doing those things in your home, for your family, and because you believe they're your calling. That's just lazy, unmotivated, conservative (said as a perjorative), or backward.

Blessings to you and your lovely family, Mrs. T.

Dirtdartwife said...

What a beautiful and uplifting post. Makes a woman feel good to feel this confident that she's right where she wants to be.

I have to be frank though... I wish I had the conviction of being a wife/mom like you. I was raised in a home where girls were expected to go to college, then work, then around the age of 35, maybe get married and have only 2 babies. So I'm having a hard time because I feel so pulled. I'm a stay at home mom to four and have been off Active Duty (Army) for 7 years now but I still get people that ask "Why don't you work?"

While I feel comfortable with being a stay at home mom it's more because I hate the stress of having to be accountable to someone else. I don't feel "complete" because I've been so ingrained with "You won't be happy unless you are a working mom." that I honestly struggle with being happy for myself. I honestly feel guilty when I'm enjoying being a stay at home mom.

So what do you say to those women that strive to be a happy stay at home mom, does find satisfaction in her children but not all the time because of so many people riding her to go back to work? My husband is of the type that goes "I'll support you no matter what you choose." but doesn't give any real indication of his true thoughts.

Gah... sorry... you're so busy with your beautiful baby girl that you don't need to be reading through this blather. Please forgive me.

Suzanne said...

You are very wise to realize this at 23, Anna. Your husband and daughter are blessed to have you at home!
I, too, did not work after becoming pregnant. I enjoyed having time to myself before the baby came. I ended up having some difficulties that, had I been working, would have been threatening to the pregnancy (due to my line of work). You made the right decision! :) You will never regret time spent with your husband and child.

lady jane said...

Beautiful post and answers to the always nosy questions. :o)

It's really not so different once children are grown. I've been asked over and again if I'll finally do something with my life now that my daughter is grown. hehe. While I have an outside job that's completed primarily from home, I look forward to passing it on to the next person...perhaps very soon. Very soon. I have an intense desire to nest, to care for my husband, daughter and home without distraction.

Anonymous said...

I am delighted that you are happy. But I must say such a life would drive me spare. I thank God for my job, which I enjoy and find important, and feel absolutely happy in my conviction (which I've had since I was a teenager) that God wanted me to remain childless.

I am happy with a world that allows both views. My prayer is that others will be thus content as well.

Tracy said...

AMEN!!! You are so blessed enjoy Shira! They grow so quickly. I can't believe my boy is 12 years old already. At home is the best place to be pouring your life into what matters most family. I don't regret one minute of it.

Kristin-Homemaker@Heart said...

You are very blessed. I wish I could stay home with my daughter!

Someone actually asked you if you were FINALLY going to go on birth control? How rude?!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Anna,

I have a question for you, and understand that it might be awhile until you to answer it, since you are so happily situated with your precious baby girl.

What is your advice for a young woman who has come of age, finished any education she was enrolled in (whether it be high school or college), is part of many groups/activities where a young man could notice and pursue her in a God-glorifying manner, but has not received any interest from any young man?

In that case, wouldn't it be appropriate to get a job that you enjoy instead of sitting in your parents' or your own apartment?

I have several friends that are beautiful women of God, and are nearing their thirties. None of them have received any offers of courtship/dating, much less marriage. It makes me so happy to see young women married at young ages, but I'm wondering if you can say a word to those who are serving in the place they believe God wants them, and still do not have a boyfriend, fiancee, or husband, and none on the radar or near future.

Thank you! God bless, B

His Wife and Their Mommy said...

how rude of her..
don't worry about it. I am glad there are other SAHM moms like me..women like her are just jealous they can't do it or greedy and want more money then their hubby can take care of them with..
GRRR..people like this just get under my skin..LOL

may said...

Irrespective of whether you want to work outside the home, and I can not believe that knowing you as she does, she can have failed to notice that you don't; what rude questions! Even if she really wanted to know (and after all, it's none of her business), there are ways to ask without being so aggressive.

Gombojav Tribe said...

"Get on track"....what a strange perception that a woman at home is not "on track." It's just assumed that she doesn't want to be there. When many women are exactly where they want to be and where they planned to be.

Good thoughts, Anna!

Slice of life said...

On form again today Mrs Anna! Loved this post, as always!

Becky said...

It is the biggest blessing, in my own experience, to know with 100% clarity and surety that you are where God wants you to be. Revel in that! It's a gift and meant to be enjoyed, just like you are doing. And without apologies to the world who wants to cookie-cutter women according to a 20th/21st century interpretation of roles! Congratulations and good for you!!!

Bethany Hudson said...

Anna, I have gotten many comments like this from friends. In fact, I only know a handful other stay-at-home moms (none of whom stayed home before having their own children, as I did). The amazing thing is those who continually ask, "So, when are you going to go back to work?" time and time again. You have the right perspective on things, and I'm glad you are at peace and not getting your feathers ruffled by such comments, as I often do.
~Bethany

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

My daughter gets that all the time.

She was a Dean Scholar at University and has a degree in Interior Design (which is a four year pre -architecture degree).

She loves being at home with her four children and now that her "baby" is walking, she's ready for another.

She lives in an area of the USA where most families only have two children and Mom often returns to work.

Thuis en onderweg said...

A hearty amen to that, Anna! I have been off track (or as others will say: on track) for about seven years and it is hard to get back en route (though not impossible with the help of God). But your blog is highly encouraging. Thank you for sharing your convictions and for writing them down!

As I may comment on Dirtdartwife: I recognize what you say and it greatly helps me to say to myself, instead of those daunting thoughts like 'you ought to do something with your life!': I do this for God, husband and children and that's why I love it :-). After being indoctrinated with a feminist way of thinking, it will take some time to have your mind renewed (Romans 12:2).

Elizabeth said...

Beautiful. Thank you, my friend. YES - you are blessed! :) How happy I am for you, in your happiness. Now ... go and cuddle Shira again!

Deanna said...

ANNA,
CONGRATS TO YOU ON THE BLESSINGS OF BEING A WIFE, YOUR DAUGHTER'S BIRTH, A MOTHER AND BEING A KEEPER OF THE HOME!

I'm having such fun with blogging. Really enjoy your's. Recently I started a blog and wrote a little about
"HOMEMAKER WITH HEELS ON"

I have yet to learn how to put pictures on my blog.
All in good time.

Hope you'll check my site out.
www.homehavenminisrty.blogspot.com
Deanna from the Kansas Flinthills

Anonymous said...

it is such a blessing to hear a young woman say her life is on track being a homemaker and mommy. It is such an honor and privilege to be a wife and a mother, i've been both for 19 years. The Lord has truly blessed you and thank you for following your high calling as a mother.

Rebekah S. said...

Amen, Amen, Amen! How truly blessed indeed. There are not words to express how blessed and valuable the stay-at-home wife and mother is. She truly does impact the society around her in amazing ways!! What a beautiful and peaceful post! :)

Miss Rose Virginia said...

You truly are blessed, Anna! I can only pray to find a man who supports my goal to be a housewife and stay-at-home mom. I'm confident that I will, in God's timing.

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

Beautifully written sentiments, Anna. So glad to hear that you and Little Shira are doing well.

Jenna said...

What a blessing, indeed; one that is very much within the grasp of any daughter, wife and/or mother who desires this way of life (God's intended way)!

Yes, praise belongs to the Almighty who abundantly bestows His grace and love upon us with these gifts. How beautiful it is when we are at home, the environment in which we are best able to flourish.

Thank you for sharing. May your published words continue to encourage others along this same path!

Tracey McBride said...

Beautifully said Mrs. Anna. You are in charge of creating and keeping your realm...what a blessing. How lovely that you recognize and appreciate this gift.

Holly said...

You seem to have such a handle on staying at home and only 23! When I was 23 I was galivanting around acting like the world was mine. Now,at 31, I am staying home with my girls. From reading your blog, I am trying harder to make my home a place of rest for my family. I enjoy reading your blog to refocus. By the way, I'll be interested to see how you keep things peaceful and beautiful with children. Sometimes it can be quite a daunting task. Especially when they're sick! :) God Bless,
Holly

Penny McK said...

Amen to all you have said! (It really did almost sound like a prayer.) I'm amazed that just 40 years ago almost all women were able to expect this type of lifestyle when they were bearing and rearing their children. So much has changed in so little time. Not all changes have been for the betterment of society or families. I am so very grateful I was able to be a stay at home mom for the whole time I raised my 5 children. Blessings to you and your little one.

Neuropoet said...

As I sit here listening the my boys play in the other room I know exactly what you mean about feeling so generously blessed - I did nothing to deserve such a wonderful life. I am so grateful...

~Jenny

Lady-in-the-Making said...

As a reluctant working mother (my husband desires that I work) - your post nearly brought tears to my eyes. It's too late for me to have those times with my nearly grown children.

God bless you, Anna. Congratulations on your beautiful new baby. I am very, very happy for you!

Becky said...

Love it!

I'm still finding the courage to go from full time work to part time work before children come. The economy in the US is making it a tough transition to make. I very much desire to be at home, though. Work is so fruitless.

pearlsoftruth said...

The cheek of your friend! Some people floor me with their presumptious advice. Yes, she asked questions, but very leading ones...

Good on you for shining your light in the darkness of this world. I wouldn't trade places with anyone, either, if I were you. My children are near adulthood, (Son 18 and daughter 16), and I still don't work... I enjoy my life and SAHM.

Your values are not the same as your friends.... THANK the Lord for that!

Cuddle your precious baby for me :)

Katy said...

You are truly blessed. Many women wish that they were the ones home with their babies...I know I do.

S. Belle said...

I enjoyed reading this post. It's great that you can confidently proclaim that you are happy to be a stay at home wife and mother. It made me feel good to read this post.

To Dirtdartwife, if your husband tells you that he supports you no matter what, then you should try to enjoy that he supports that you want to stay at home. I say look over the naysayers, because people will ALWAYS have something to say no matter what you do.

I hope that you focus your energies on enjoying your children, home and husband. Try to remember that you are blessed to be in the position that you are in, and many women envy what you have.

Just my two cents.

Whitney said...

What an incredible young woman you are to realize at such a young age all you have for which to be thankful. Enjoy your baby, enjoy your home. You deserve it. The world would be a better place if every child had a mama like you who realizes the blessing of children and home.

Garden Veggies said...

I am so glad you are enjoying being at home. I remember being asked many of the same questions and I was so happy that I chose to stay home with my wonderful babies that are now children:)

Renee

simplebeauty said...

And you are setting a wonderful example for other young ladies who wish to do the same, however keep running into the road blocks of society! :O)

MarkyMark said...

Anna,

That's a wonderful post! I like how you use the word, 'vocation'. The way you used it connotes its lesser known meaning of a higher calling. For example, a man would have a VOCATION to become a rabbi; it means a calling from God.

When you raise your children, you WILL Make a difference. You may not have heard of Susannah Wesley, but you probably have heard of her sons; you've DEFINITELY heard of their works! One of the Wesley brothers founded the Methodist church, while another of the brothers wrote many of our Christian hymns. You ask anyone who knows anything about Christian church history, they'll point out that the boys' mother, Susannah Wesley, played a key role in raising them; because of her, two continents were impacted in a huge way, and that impact is felt even today, two centuries later. If that's not long lasting influence & power, I don't know what is! It certainly blows away the power you'd have at a job...

I have to go. My laundry is finished, so I have to hang it up. After that, it's off to bed. Good night.
MarkyMark

Bonnie said...

May God bless you in your role as a wife and mother for it is, I believe the most important role in humanity. The Lord has blessed us women with the chance to nurture and form not only our children, but our families. I am happy that you understand the beauty of the role you were given and have resisted the secularist's attempt at making you feel guilty. Let your dear husband know how very proud of him your readers are for being the supportive and grateful husband that he is.

Angel said...

Dear Anna,
As a woman who has been a housewife for many years, let me just tell you that you will never regret staying home. Sometimes the days will be difficult, but the years will fly by and you will have precious memories to cherish. You will be there for your darling gilr's first steps, first words, first everything. Your husband will have the comfort of a warm and loving home. My oldest is now a teenager and I am so glad that I am still the one she confides in and turns to with her concerns.
Congratulations on following your true calling.

Sasha said...

I think your post is beautiful. But - I really think your friend,who I probably know,is just worried about you. She doesn't read your blog and doesn't know your way of life,which is so uncommon today. Even if I didn't read your blog,I wouldn't talk to you like her,but just because of politeness matters and because it's just not my business. Everyone has his/her opinion,but I prefer to keep mine to myself and just be happy for you,because I can see you are happy.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could stay at home full time. Alas, it is not to be...I've found very few families in Israel can afford it long-term.

I'm curious, are there many stay at home moms where you live? I assume it's probably difficult for mothers there to work because of the distance from places of employment. Also, housing must be much cheaper, so there is no pressure to work to pay off a huge mortgage.

On the other hand, I assume it's a religious settlement, and the women there have many children; I would be curious to know if there are lots of large families there making it on only one income.

I must respectfully disagree with Marianne above, who stated: 'it's an honorable job to be a daycare worker, cook, or a custodian. Just not when you're doing those things in your home'.
On the contrary, those jobs are the least respected vocations, with the lowest status. Partially because they require little education, partially because they involve a lot of menial labour. Indeed, these jobs are among the lowest paid positions for women.

I would not say that society awards the daycare worker any respect at all; and perhaps because of this, the work of stay at home mothers is also undervalued.
Tammy

Linda said...

"Am I finally going to wise up and start using birth control"

*lol* Finally..... you've had about, what, a year - of which nine months were spent pregnant... which leaves.... 3 months of not using it?

That word 'finally' is very unappropriate ;)

Greetings from the netherlands!

Coffee Catholic said...

"Am I finally going to wise up and start using birth control..."

HOW RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope that my pelvis has healed by the time six months has passed so I can try and get pregnant again!! We are not trying only because I'm half-crippled and it's killing me to not get preggo again!

Millie said...

I'm shaking my head in disbelief at the impolite behavior of your friend. At the same time, I am awed by your determination, hope, clarity, and enthusiasm for your life.

While I was growing up, I knew I would be doing the same thing you are doing now, and like you, I was surrounded by people who pressured me to choose a different path. I am grateful I have stayed true to my convictions, small and quiet though they were.

Thank you for this post - I see myself in your words, only much, much braver than I was at your age.

CappuccinoLife said...

I can't believe someone would pester you about the birth control issue after just one baby! Oh my!

You are right. We who are having lovely babies and being home with them and living our lives this way are sooooo blessed!