Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hello again

Pesach is over, and after a week of eating matzo, tomorrow we'll be making bread again. Yes, after you get used to the deliciousness of homemade bread, commercial breads starts to taste like bits of old sponge.

We spent a lovely time together with family. As an only child, I've always wondered what it feels like to be part of a big family; to have brothers and sisters, to be an auntie. I assumed I would never have that, but then I met and married my husband, who is one of five and already has nieces and nephews - and few sounds are more cheerful than the noise a bunch of children and babies can make, even though at times, you might feel like reaching for a pair of earplugs *smile*.

It was wonderful to have my husband at home for a stretch of time - he even took two days off work before the holiday, when it became clear I'm struggling to complete even half of the goals I marked for myself, to help me with all the cleaning. Together, we scrubbed the house from top to bottom and worked late into the night.

Yes, I know how lucky I am. I really can't thank him enough for all his help. He's a true knight in shining armor, of the order of Mop and Bucket *big smile*.

On another matter - I apologize for just rambling today - it seems that Shira is having a growth spurt. 3 months. Isn't this when babies typically have one? Previously, she seemed content to nurse on one side each time, but now apparently she needs more, so I let her "finish" one breast and then switch her to the other. She also "cluster fed" a lot today.

Speaking of breastfeeding, I just discovered two wonderful articles about breastfeeding on Mrs. Parunak's blog:

Breastmilk, Ice Cream, and Infant Feeding Schedules: How Much Space is on YOUR Counter Top?

and,

When You “Don’t Have Enough Milk”

True gems!

17 comments:

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

I'm glad you had a blessed Pesach. Big families are great, aren't they? And yes, Anna, you are very fortunate.

When I started to fall behind on my Spring cleaning, my dear husband also pitched in a great deal more than I expected- and I didn't even have to ask. This, and he hadn't even taken any time off work!

Bethany Hudson said...

Anna,

Sometimes it seemed in the first year, hardly a week went by withOUT a growth spurt! They have one every couple of months, and yes, 3 months is normal.

As an only child, I can resonate with what you said about the holidays. I do come from a VERY large extended family (my mom is one of 7 and my dad one of 3), so I was used to very busy holidays, but I wanted nieces and nephews so much. I swore I would never even date an only child...and then I married one--one with almost no extended family! Go figure. I guess we'll have to be the ones supplying all the babies :)

~Bethany

jAne said...

Ramble away, dear AnnaT. "Listening" to your you in this way seems as though I'm sitting next to you sharing a cup of tea as we share our hearts.

Blessings,
jAne

http://tickleberryfarm.blogspot.com

Keeping & Seeking said...

I can definitely relate to the bread comment. I could never go back.

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Ah... typical growth spurts -

3 weeks
6 weeks
3 months
6 months

Just sayin'

Julie

Mrs. Rabe said...

Three months was when all of my babies went through a growth spurt and you feel as if they are needing to nurse all day! :) What precious times...

Analytical Adam said...

Well I hope you had a happy Passover Mrs. Anna T. But isn't the women suppose to be the helpmate of the man not the other way around. Does your husband have goals or does he just want to fulfill your goals which while sounding nice on is exactly the opposite of what the torah wants. He wants for you to set all the goals and he will follow but he has no goals and lets you set the goals because many religious men have been told they should be that way and that men are by nature evil and women are better and more spiritual (which is not really true as men and women have different skills but if used properly are each spiritual in their own right) and they therefore have really become the helpmate of the wife and sadly Jewish women like men that don't challenge them in any way and just do whatever they say although this is not a good trait in the work world or for a man to help society or for children to have a weak father and doesn't create a overall enviornment that can lead to marraige on a large scale because many meek men will be unemploed and/or not come from a wealthy family. Your husband should want the house clean as well and not just want it because you want it.

Also, Mrs. Anna I am sure you are aware that many Jewish people in Israeli's dread the holidays because they don't have money to celebrate it properly. At least that is what some group advertising said that this is 1 in 5 Israeli's although obviously they may exaggerate a little for funds. I don't know.

I didn't have such a great passover to be fair. My parents go away every year when I can't go anyway and I have no one to turn to. During Passover Pharoh killed the boys and let the girls live and I'm sure he claimed he was doing it to protect women and I wasn't in the mood to go to a seder where they put down men which is exactly against the whole spirit of passover.

Feminism has become very much a part of the religon and of course for a women to be a helpmate of a man the man has to be open and honest and share his life with his wife as it says he should cling to her which in the religious world they claim men are naturally antisocial which is not true and if true then women should lead men which is why I am pointing it out and many relgious men don't have much of a backbone because of it and feel the women should lead them because they are better then them (which they are wrong) but in their area's which includes work which helps to create things and just helping society using their analytical skills . Of course a G-dless society produces nothing as you know Anna in the Soviet Union that believed in no G-d. There is spirituality in creating things in the outside world as this attests to.
I hope you don't mind I am doing a little of my own rambling. I do hope you and your husband had a very happy passover.

Adam.

MarkyMark said...

Anna,

Keep treating your man right, and he'll be DYING for the chance to help you out more in the future! Good guys are like that; treat 'em right, and they'll treat you even better...

I'm glad you had a nice holiday. That said, welcome back...

MarkyMark

Mrs. Anna T said...

Adam,

If you have any doubt as to who the leader in our family is, you are welcome to visit Israel and spend a day with us. *smile*

My husband is not the kind of man I could nag or manipulate into doing what I want - not that I would even want to try.

Anonymous said...

Mark, You need to go back and read Exodus again. Pharoah did not kill the boys.
Mrs. L.

Maria said...

My baby had a huge growth spurt at 3 months. She became this massively fat little baby, full of rolls of baby dough and laughter. Now at 6 months she is again experiencing a huge growth spurt and I am finding it difficult to pick her up. She has become very tall and muscular. I am a very small woman with short arms and my arms ache a lot from holding her and picking her up. I guess this means it is time to teach her to crawl!
You are very fortunate to be part of a large family. I came from a family of 7 children, and my husband from a family of 8. My husband and I are going down for my brother-in-law's confirmation. My baby is always so happy to be around so many people, getting so much attention!

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

Adam,

Secure, confident men have no problem listening to and yes, helping, their wives. Doesn't mean she's leading.

And this term "helpmate" is a real pet peeve of mine. The Scripture DOES NOT say that. It says that God created a help "meet" for Adam (2 words, not one). Correct me if I'm wrong Anna, but does not the Hebrew translate "meet" to mean suitable? Or someting similar?

Which means, Adam, that Mr. T gets to decide in what ways Anna's help is suitable for him. And he also gets to decide in what ways he wants to express his love and appreciation to and for her. If he wants to help her clean up, that's his choice.

Anonymous said...

You know, I am as much a proponent of breastfeeding as anyone, but I find articles like the one you linked to truly unfortunate. Yes, the author may have good intentions to encourage women to breastfeed, but the implication that women who are unable to are simply imagining their problem (i.e., the rather condescending quotes around "don't have enough milk") or aren't doing their best, or doing enough, is insulting to women who truly struggle with successful breastfeeding. Also, the anti-formula propaganda in that second article is absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible. No, formula is not the ideal, but it is NOT bad for babies, and certainly not to the extent that this fear-mongering author claims. The vast majority of formula-fed babies turn out to be just as healthy and intelligent as breast-fed babies. There are also breast-fed babies who are more sickly and less robust than their formula-fed counterparts.

And for the record -- before people fly into a fuss about how I must be anti-breastfeeding or pro-formula, or assume I'm just defensive because I didn't breastfeed -- I nursed both of my children and was blessed with a great experience both times.

Susan

Anonymous said...

Hey Anna, your blog's wonderful. So many people think that if you choose to take a domestic role in the relationship and leave your husband in charge of the finances, you're some deprived slave begging for spending and completely at his mercy. You're both an amazing example of the team that a couple are supposed to be: roles to be filled but helping each other when needed because you love each other.

Mandi said...

@Analytical Adam - He helped her with the cleaning just before a major holiday. They are both Orthodox so having a Chametz-free household in time for Pesach is just as important to him as to her. Sounds like he was working for his own goals since they were identical with Mrs Anna's. If Mrs Anna isn't a submitted helpmeet of a wife, then no one is.

@Susan I'm with you. I avoided reading the articles (cause I didn't want to get annoyed) until I saw your comment. I wonder if any of the Leche-League adherents know or understand that when modern formula was invented infant mortality dropped 10%.

Also, in the second article the author rhetorically asks: "Don’t you think the Lord would have designed a system that would work a lot more often than the one we seem to have?"

Seriously? Does anyone there remember that we live in a fallen world? Sin has entered and through sin, death. Before the fall, breastfeeding worked perfectly (though it was untested). After the fall? Not so much.

And finally before anyone starts talking about how things have worked "for millenia", or about how women managed before the "evil formula companies started their vile marketing campaigns" or about how "mothers have always done it", please, please remember that infant mortality rates used to be around 50% throughout the world. 50%!!! Not every development is a good thing but for goodness sake, remember that having all your children live into adulthood is a recent blessing!

Analytical Adam said...

Terry,


I have moderate understanding of Hebrew and the Hebrew word Ezer does mean to help from everything I know. The fact that some women have a problem with it well that is what G-d wanted and even religious leaders sadly don't like this part of G-d's word even though in other area's they follow G-d but we can't pick and chose or create G-d in our own image.

Having said that as I said for a woman to help a man the man has to share his life with his wife and get her feedback as good men due. If they are a judge and they have a tough case they use their analytical and sense of justice to make a determination but at the same time would speak to their wife if they see something that they may be missing as women sometimes see something that may be would suggest some leniency.

It ALSO SAY A MAN SHALL CLING TO HIS WIFE. It doesn't say a WOMAN SHOULD CLING TO HER HUSBAND.

Sadly many religious leaders have not set a good example in male-female relations in my opinion and at least in Judaism may be that is one of the reasons we are still haven't had the final redemption or for Christians the second coming.

Analytical Adam said...

Mrs. Anna. Thank you for the invitation. If I get married and visit or decide to live in Israel this would make my trip more enjoyable and I would love to meet your husband.


I have lived my whole life in Orthodox area's both Modern Orthodox and Ultra Orthodox and feminism is a big problem in both area's. I have a cousin who invites me for Shabbat and they have 7 kids but she and her husband when it comes to feminism (my parents used to invite my younger brother) it seems they believe the ideology that girls are always victims and men are always to blame and the girls read Harry Potter and the father doesn't care and neither does the mother although their views may have changed a little but a few weeks ago they invited a career woman who seems to think this idea of women getting married in her mid 30's is ideal. She is divorced also and from what I can see she is not a victim. She was laughing about it. I live in an area now in Northern NJ which is much more ultra Orthodox and they seem to have no problem with the girl scouts even though much has come out about them teaching girls horrible concepts.

I found the most troubling Mrs. Anna by the way the women (and men too) who do have many children who nevertheless seem to not want other women to have children and push them to focus on career first. I guess they don't want competition.