Monday, November 15, 2010

Potty training

Remember I told we've embarked on the adventurous journey of potty training? Well, here's a little update on that. To give some perspective to my newer readers, our older daughter Shira is now 22 months old.

From refusing entirely to go in the potty, Shira moved to consenting to pee in the potty, when offered at the right moment. She does not ask for potty and does not seem to mind a wet or dirty diaper. So, I expect the road will be long yet (although you never know), and from parents who went through the potty training saga not long ago, I've heard the most important thing is not to lose heart and remember that all children will, at some point, be potty trained.

It does not help, however, (and here you'll have to excuse me for a little rant) to get remarks from certain family members (in particular from the older generation), about how I should have started a long time ago, how they potty trained their children much earlier, and how "disgusting" it is to see a 2-year-old still in diapers.

I can't deny that about a generation ago (when I was a baby, for example) potty training took place much earlier, closer to the age of 1 than 2 (or even 3). It's a fact that I was potty trained at around 1 year old, with little accidents. I think it's great if someone succeeded to potty train their children early. Some, I know, are even doing Elimination Communication with their babies starting soon after birth (though I'd love to know how they are doing it if their babies, like mine, "go potty" not soon after, but during nursing - as a general pattern).

I do believe that potty training is a vastly different experience at an earlier age, and my guess is that it is based rather more on conditioning than on cognitive learning. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I think early potty training is great, as long as baby and parents are happy! But when you already have a 2-year-old who is not potty trained yet, you can sit her on the potty but you can't make her go if she doesn't want to, same as you can sit her in her high chair but you can't make her eat, same as you can put her to bed but you can't force her to sleep. I believe you can practice certain things which can be helpful, but eventually, she has autonomy over her body, little as she is.

Perhaps I could have started earlier, and windows of opportunity were missed (for example during the time I was pregnant and did not feel the sufficient energy to squat by a potty many times a day). Perhaps it is a shame. I'm not sure. Either way, I doubt that it will make much difference in the long run.

What I wish I could do is eliminate the competition element for parents about such basic milestones which will be reached anyway. All children will be potty trained eventually, and those who potty train later for various reasons are not bad parents and should not be made to feel like they are.

46 comments:

Kacie said...

My son is nearing 23 months and we talk about potty things and I think he understands the general concept -- but he won't go on the potty. I'm due with our second child next month so I am NOT pushing the issue, because I doubt that I will be able to keep up with any training progress in the newborn's early weeks.

But my husband's grandmother was surprised that he wasn't potty-trained yet, and made me feel sort of bad about it. I chose to just let it roll off my back because she is from a different generation, and it's not actually affecting her any.

All kids will be potty-trained at some point! We need to give ourselves grace, especially when we have an infant in the house too!

Serena said...

I potty-trained my older daughter while pregnant with my younger, and it was a difficult experience. She did fine, but with morning sickness, illness, tiredness, and that pregnancy-induced heightened sense of smell, it was extremely hard for me. I would not recommend anyone trying to potty-train during pregnancy, if they can help it (though, of course, having to clean up dirty diapers might be just as bad). I know I want to get my younger daughter potty-trained before I get pregnant again!

Mary R. said...

Every generation of mothers seems to do thing like potty-training differently. When I was little, it was a shame for a 2 year old not to be potty trained. My mother-in-law had a potty seat with a strap on it to hold the child in the seat until he or she "went." These days...well, I don't want to say what that would be considered these days! But, she still swears by it.

When I had my children, more than a generation later, children who were not potty trained by age 2 were common (mine was not trained until he was about 2 1/2) as we were told it was too early and traumatized the child.

This is why it is sometimes difficult for older women to teach younger women. Things like this change from generation to generation. Basic things never change, though.

Serenity Now said...

Funny, we are going through this at our house and my son is 2 1/2! I hate when people pass judgement and make a generalization about a parenting situation. Every kid is different, and every mom just has to do what works for that specific kid. Good luck to you!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about it. (Easier said than done when dealing with dirty diapers, I know.) Children potty train when they are ready for it, and the worst thing ever is to turn it into a power struggle. She'll learn, she'll move forward and fall back, and eventually she'll get it.

As for mommy shaming, try to ignore that. I know, everybody has a wunderkind who learned to read early, potty trained at 8 months and will change the world with their brilliance by that age of 6, I'm sure, but the only important thing is you and your child's relationship and happiness.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe people think you should have started earlier! In America, everyone would be telling you that you're too early now- typically, kids here are trained between 2 and 3, and it's not uncommon for a 3 year old to be basically trained but still having accidents from time to time. I am skeptical of any claims that a child was trained before 1.5 years- you mean to tell me that kids who have barely learned to walk can tell when they need to go and get themselves to the potty? Sorry, I'm not buying it. I think those people are older and it only feels like potty training happened that early, but never actually did. You're doing a fine job. 22 months is definitely not too late, and is even a little early by American standards.

Elena said...

Anna, when Shira turns 15, no one will know (nor care!) whether she was potty-trained when she was 1, 2 or 3 years old. It´s easy to say to someone how things "should" be done, but in the end you are the mother, so you choose :-)Enjoy your time with Shira (she will never be 22 months old again!) and relax.

Rightthinker-Andrea said...

I think one of the worst things we can do is be highly critical of other mama's. Now, there are parents who are clueless and checked out, and that's not a good thing. However, being a mindful and plugged in parent is a very difficult job.

I recently had our 6th child, and what I have learned is that they are individuals, as much as any adult! We are the best experts on our own children-but not the children of others! While something may come quickly and easily for one child, may be a struggle for the next-ALL with the same level of routine, guidance, love, patience, instruction and discipline.

Out of my six, all have reached developmental milestones at different ages..most of which you can't change anymore than you can when they get their teeth.

Of course, if it's your "mission" to complete potty training by a certain age, then you will likely succeed with that..but at what cost? What may have been ignored or missed along the way just to have achieved a benchmark for bragging rights.

As far as potty training, I think we have become pretty laxed if we are not working at it as a routine by the time the child is 2...I don't think 3-4 year old's should be in diapers..but that's a PERSONAL choice for us, and I have enough work raising my own kids!

Anonymous said...

I am in Australia and just going into the warmer months now...last week due to most days with no clothes on, jumping in and out of the paddling pool etc, I pulled the potty out of the cupboard and my son (31 months) started using it and now 1 week later is only in a nappy for his nap and at night....I'm glad I waited as now it has taken no time at all...Also I'm in the second trimester of pregnancy now and have much more energy to help him...I'm most happy that by his third birthday (baby is due 2 weeks after) he should be completely out of nappies!!

I love your blog by the way,

Thanks for all your great information and insight,

From Shara

Lady Anne said...

I think disposable diapers make it much more difficult to train a child because they don't feel wet or uncomfortable. As soon as my girls were following me into the bathroom, I put out the potty chair and encouraged them to sit while I sat. I also (and maybe this sounds dreadful) moved the potty into the (tiled) family room and left off their diapers. A lot of times little ones don't feel the urge to "go" until they have to GO, BY GUM! This way they could just sit whenever the need arose, without trying to deal with diapers or training pants. They were all trained well before their second birthdays, but I don't think that's the norm any more. It'll come eventually. Don't worry about it. And good luck!

Angel Wings and Apron Strings said...

Amen Anna!! Motherhood is a holy vocation, not a race to achieve 'milestones' to be compared or scrutinised by others. Time sorts out many things. Relax and enjoy your little one :-) blessings..Trish

Nothing shocks me anymore... said...

I truly believe in times past children were potty trained younger out of necessity( parents needed the diapers for the next child already) and routine( the parents were trained to the childs routine not the child trained to know to always go)... That said your child is not yet two and if she can go that is great. You just added a new distraction to the home and that disrupts things a bit. She will be trained soon, no doubt about that. You cannot control everything.
I was also in the same situation. I *could of should of* trained my older son.. but I was heavily pregnant with twins and had NO DESIRE to deal with it.. so I had a 2.5y/o and twin infants in diapers for a while.. a long while.. We survived! He was potty trained before 3.5y old...

Anonymous said...

As they say in the US, "don't let the turkeys get you down." I had one who loved learning to potty (at 2) and was eager to sit on the potty chair at 1.

Then my 2nd daughter would have nothing to do with the potty chair. I was advised to "make her stay" on it and so forth, but I couldn't see the point in making learning to potty into a conflictual (especially not punitive) endeavor. She used the potty on her own when she felt confident enough to use the big potty. It's as if she knew that the little potty chair was not The Real Thing and was sub-standard.

THEN, while stranded overnight in an airport, one of those automatic-flushing toilets flushed with me holding her on it and it scared the daylights out of her. It's a good thing she was having enough accidents that I carried Pull Ups because she refused to go potty for a couple months - and then only in our potty at home. Poor thing was traumatized!

So, when people commented about my 3 year old in diapers, if I felt like they were interested and it was their business, I'd tell them that we had a set-back. If not, I just smiled at them.

- Sally

Matushka Anna said...

Ours (5) potty trained anywhere from 22 months to 3 yrs, 2 months. But I will say, NONE of them are in diapers now!

(and yes, it is aggravating to have to listen to the remarks...)

Linda said...

Dear Anna,
I think sometimes that people have a "nursing and changing diapers is meaningless activity, let's get to solid food and potty training so I won't have to waste my time with this and get on to something meaningful." And so we hurry our children into more 'meaningful things,' whatever those would be. Potty training is mostly a matter of conditioning meeting recognition and physical maturity. What you and your daughter are waiting for is the development of a consistent signal between her bladder and colon to her brain. It isn't a not here today and here tomorrow process. She has to recognize the signal when it does become consistent. Most adults have forgotten what that was like--to learn a new skill and the co-ordination between hand and eye or body position that let them perform that skill consistently to their standards of expectation. Just make it a point to get her to sit on the potty chair as soon as she wakes and shortly after she eats. Turn on the faucet a little and her recognition and her body functions will come into sync on their own. There's no point in fretting about it or punishing her for being 'lazy' and much anxiety is likely caused by doing so that quite frankly I believe is a lot of the origin of bed-wetting. Let her look at a sturdy little picture book reserved for the bathroom (you don't want take the book into other parts of the house)to pass the time. When people criticize you smile and say, "That's only a concern for my husband and myself," smile and simply refuse to discuss it further. Do not let either yourself or her be bullied into feeling shame. I know that Jewish people don't consider dogs as indoor pets but teaching a puppy to eliminate outdoors is best taught by consistency of taking him outdoors to the same place at frequent intervals and praise but you have to wait for the appropriate stage of development and it works just the same for children. Patience and kindness along with firmness of mind accomplish much more than shaming. This is also how most of hope that the Holy One would deal with us so we need to be that way in return.
Linda

Anonymous said...

I think as suggested, it takes the right moment, for positive reinforcement factor. Not from a psychologist's background, but from attempting to understand my child from his point of view. With the older son, potty-training was matter-of-fact, something that needed to be done and no nonsense since he needed to be able to go to nursery school. So, we looked for times to present the potty and reward the appropriate action, but for the second son 11 years later, it was a different matter.

Life was vastly different with the second son. He was presented with many enriching activities and some of them required that he provide immediate response in order to advance to the next step, and his father preferred that he always have a properly clean bottom so he was not so interested in developing early elimination skills for himself, and as he was not going to preschool, matters could be handled easily at home.

Unfortunately, his grandfather died when he was nearly 3.5 years old and he had to accompany his parents on a long flight. His granny was not particularly judgmental, but she did mention that her children had been properly trained much earlier. When he got back home it was made a priority and not very easy, as he is very, very sensitive to anxieties in his parents and they concerned about the matter in an urgent manner so it served as a point of contention between the parents; i.e. 'what if he's never potty-trained' it's all your fault.

Anonymous said...

Anna,

In our potty training endeavors, it helped to realize that the goal wasn't actually for her to use the toilet when I told her to, but to keep her panties dry. We gave lots of praise for using the toilet, but rewards were reserved for clean dry panties at the end of the day. It took a week for one child, and six months for another - they're all different!

Lily said...

Don't worry =) Your little darling will get it when she wants to. My son (who is turning 4 in a few weeks) didn't begin potty training until 2 and a half. During our first day he was running to pee every time! Then...well...to go poo took him until just a few months ago =P He didn't want to be separated from that because in his own, wonderful opinion, it smelled good and was warm =P Now that he is just shy of 4 he wears "big boy" underwear all the time even during the night with no accidents. Once they get it, in their time, is fine =)

Heather said...

Honestly I wouldn't worry about it. I got comments from family about my two older boys and now with my youngest. They just aren't interested and the more I ask and push the longer it takes. My littlest will be three in february and it would be great if he were trained by then, but I'm not going to get upset if he isn't. I went through the game twice and this time we are taking it easy. Good luck!!

Jamie said...

I agree. Competition is not helpful.

My daughter toilet trained early. Days at 22mo and nights at 2y 3m. But we had accidents during the day for many years.
My son toilet trained during the day around 4 years of age and still isn't dry at night at almost six years of age, but it has been a much easier experience, with far fewer day accidents.
Our second son suddenly decided of his own accord to day train at 2y 4m. He was fine for months and then started having accidents regularly. I really believe 'accidents' are partly because it is something they can control.

I can understand why so many parents these days wait until ther children are older. I found it so much easier to have my first son wear nappies until 4 and then have no day accidents, rather than my other two to 'trained' younger, but had accidents for years.

Otter Mom said...

She'l get there when she's ready. They are all different, my daughter was probably 2 1/2 when we attempted it and she got the wet part of it down fast. But it took her what seemed like forever to get the rest of it. Then she went through a spell later on of wetting her panties. Some kids learn it earlier, some later. But they all get there!

justme27 said...

We did EC with my daughter- it can be hard if they're a potty while eating kind of person. :)

If you ever decide to give it a try, usually after waking (naps or morning) is a sure thing, even for older kids. Just getting one or two potty catches a day can be a welcome break from a wet diaper and can give a little one the idea that the potty isn't quite so foreign. :)

Silvillealui said...

Thanks for that post :)

My daughter is nearly 28 months, and here is our story:

We started introducing the potty at around 18 months since our daughter showed interest in it. We never forced her, but explained and let her sit on it if she wanted. Around 20 months she started to be bothered by wet nappies, at 21 months she tried to or even mastered to take them off herself, so we thought that would be the perfect timing for starting potty-training. So we did, with moderate success but we didn't wanna rush her either. When she was 22 months a friend told us that she worked with stickers as reward for going potty... so we thought that this was a smart idea and I drew a nice "potty chart" with help of our daughter and we started to put stickers on it for every "success". After about a week she mastered to collect up to 15 stickers a day, apparently she could control her flow, so she could earn as many stickers as possibel :( after a second week - around the same time her baby sister was born she lost interest and preferred to go back into diapers - or caused A LOT OF accidents when without diaper... So we put her back into nappies "full time" - but still talk about the potty and offer her to use it. Some days she would, on other days she just wouldn't. There is a lot of change in her life at the moment, she is adjusting to being a big sister now, the whole family is moving "quite often" - and i hear that "change" is not the very best support for PT.

Of course I really would love to have her potty trained already - but on the other side, I'm not worried yet - we all were trained at one point. And as you suggested, it would be a lot easier if it wouldn't be that much of an "competition-element"...

Upper West Side Mom said...

For infants that go during nursing you can just put them on a tiny baby potty or have them go on a diaper while you cue them. A big part of EC is making sure that a baby does not lose touch with the sensation of going. It's also about keeping the baby dry and clean.

I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that your baby does not need to make in the potty every time they need to go. Even if you do it once or twice a day when you know they have to go will keep them in touch with that feeling of going in the potty. The coolest thing about EC for me was that I never had to teach a toddler to go on the potty because my toddler had been doing it her whole life. I did the more traditional potty training with my older 3 and EC was much more pleasant than training a 2 year old!

If you have any interest in learning more you should try to read The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh. It really makes EC seem manageable. You also might want to check out diaperfreebaby.com.

mom_of_4 said...

Sometimes I wonder if those who remember their children being potty trained much earlier than 2 are actually remembering accurately. But I think you're absolutely right in your comment that whether your child is potty trained at 1 1/2 or 3 1/2 (like mine) it really doesn't matter in the long run. My daughter didn't care either and didn't mind being wet, so it happened when we were both ready. Do what works for your family :o)

Marganit said...

It's not a shame. Enjoy your children! These things do not matter in the long-run. Mine self potty trained at around age 3 and is now 18 and healthy.

Anonymous said...

Please Anna, don´t fret over this completely natural behaviour from your little one. Pottytraining a newborn is just not ridicoulus, but cruel. Be greateful that no one tricked you in to try that. In the countries I have expierence from, Germany and Sweden, two years is concidered the average time to start pottytraining. The fact that many children has been trained from a much younger age has often depended on the fact that daycare demanded "dry" children. At what emotional cost from the children i hard to tell. Please, take care of yourself and your little ones, everything else is of no importence.

Maria

Muriel said...

My little girl, now four years old, was the last on at her gan to be potty trained. Every time we tried she just didn't get it en she wouldn't mind at all to play with wet underwear on. We just kept trying and finally, a month after her 3rd birthday, she got it. And she never had any accidents and stayed dry at night too. The key really is to give your kids opportunities but to also give them the time they need and not push them when they are not ready yet.

What I notice here is that a lot of parent, shortly after their kids 2nd birthday, just decide that their kid is ready and stop sending diapers to daycare. Than it is just up to the caregivers to take care of it and most of the time it takes months with lots and lots of accidents. It sure saves money on diapers but I don't think it is nice for the kid.

Jaime said...

I suspect that the older generation has a different view of potty trained. Granted, I am in America, but when folks speak of having their kids potty trained before 2 years old, it usually means that the parents have been trained to notice the signs & get the kid to the toilet on time.

I let both of my kids take the lead on PT... my dd wanted to start at 29 months, and I had many months of wet underwear because she simply didn't get it yet. My ds started a couple months younger (because he had her for inspiration) and was done in a week.

Joie said...

From what I have seen, if we start PT when the child wants it, the ordeal is over quicker. If we push the child, it may take many months and many accidents. I can't speak for girls but in the US, the average age for boys is a little after 3. So, be patient with Shira, with yourself and don't worry about what anyone else says, including me.

Anonymous said...

You can relax :-)
I know it's hard when well-meaning relatives don't understand and think they are "helping". But you are the one responsible for your children, and I can assure you that your daughter won't be wearing diapers when she's five....
Everyone told me it was easier to train girls than boys, but my daughter was 3 and my son was 2 when each was completely potty trained, and I don't see how it could have been done earlier in either case.

Anna said...

You're right- by age five, nobody really cares when a kid was potty-trained. For a while, my family had two kids being potty trained at the same time (a 2-year-old and an 8-month-old). The 2(now 3)-year old can pretty much take himself without our help, but the baby still has to be taken to the pot, and if we forget there is a dirty diaper to change. EC is pretty cool, but it's not perfect and there are four adults in our household so Mom had plenty of help.

That brings me to a kind of unrelated question- perhaps you don't have time to answer this, and if so, that's fine.

As a new(er) mother, what is it you need help with the most? I'm 19, have some extra time on my hands, and would like to help swamped moms. How should we go about offering help?

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

... and then there are "supermoms" who are entirely too obsessed with their children.

Involved and attentive is good. Enmeshed is not.

The age at which your child potty trains has no bearing on your dedication as a mother (though there are some who enjoy implying that it is).

Sally

Audrey said...

Rest assured, she will be potty trained eventually! We put off potty training our daughter because we were due with our second child, and then we had a big move coming up (we moved away from our families), followed by another smaller move a couple months later (across town). With all those transitions, we didn't push it with her. A week shy of her 3rd birthday (yes, 3rd! Even though she went on the potty for the first time around 15 months, she wasn't ready to give up diapers until she was almost 3), she potty trained herself. I didn't have to even do anything, she just told me she was done with diapers and wanted big girl panties, and that was it! I never even had to remind her to go in the potty, she just voluntarily went. And when she was potty trained, she was POTTY TRAINED.... she didn't even go in her little potty, she went in the same toilet her Daddy and I use. Now she's 3.5 and has only had 2 accidents since she gave up diapers, and one of them was my husband's fault for making her laugh too hard! :)

Some are just not ready until later. But it's something that all kids do eventually, and I'm personally a big advocate for waiting until they're old enough that you don't have to do a lot of work. If them being potty trained is a lot of work, then they're not the ones who are potty trained, YOU'RE the one that's trained. In my opinion, of course! :)

Harper said...

How odd the comments you receive! We lived in Israel last year and returned to the US in September. While we were there, my son (who is the same age as Shira) started showing intense interest in the potty. So we bought him a little potty chair and started introducing him to the basic principles (it goes in the bathroom, for example). When we told Israeli friends about it (both secular and Orthodox), we were met with shock and disapproval that we would "damage" our son by introducing him to the potty so young! The consensus seemed to be that it would some how result in a lifelong psychological trauma. He was about 15 months old when we started, and we didn't tell anyone for a little while after that.

Lena said...

I started to potty train after my kids turned 2years old. Some took longer, while others faster. Some still need help at night, while others are just fine on their own. Its all in how the child is. When she is ready- she will do it.

Dianne said...

Our parents and grandparents generation, at least in America, were told that a child should start potty training at 1 year old, should not be held too much, should never be picked up when they cried, and should start eating pureed meats at 3 WEEKS of age. Breastfeeding was strongly discouraged. All the parenting advice from the "experts" of the day seemed to be aimed at DETACHMENT and at ignoring natural developmental milestones.

Although I always listened respectfully to advice, much of it I chose not to take to heart because it was critical.

Everything I read about potty training and child development said that training is most effective when a child is able to recognize s/he is wet or dirty; is able to help remove his/her pants; and is able to communicate the need to go.

And as my grandmother (who disagreed with the detachment conventions of her age, and who produced enough extra breastmilk to donate to sick babies in the hospital) told me: "Any parent who tells you their child was potty trained at one year old, only trained themselves [to respond to the child's cues], not the baby." ;)

Anonymous said...

All 4 of my kids trained quickly around age 3. In fact, my youngest never was really trained, he just started using the toilet all on his own. Potty training was honestly a breeze (and that is one aspect of parenting I always dreaded) because I simply waited until they were ready and old enough to understand.

Potty training a younger child to me always seemed like it would be much more work and effort than just changing diapers!

Mrs. Anna T said...

In response to several comments: the average age of potty training in Israel today is, I believe, the same as in the US, that is, sometime between 2 and 3 years of age. Shira has several little friends here on the street, around her age or slightly older, and none of them is potty trained yet.

However, in the older generation it was common to train children earlier, both here and in USSR where I was born. In USSR maternity leave was 1 year long, and mothers were expected to make their best efforts to potty train by that time since daycares, as someone rightfully noted, demanded potty-trained children.

To which extent the *child* can actually be potty trained at 1 year old, I don't know. They can hardly get themselves to potty, take their pants off and go. However, perhaps the child learns to signal he/she needs to go, and the *parent* is the one that is trained to catch that signal and sit the child on the potty on time. As long as the child doesn't actually mind sitting on the potty, that's not a bad thing and it does help to save money on nappies and is more hygienic as the contact of child's skin with eliminated wastes is minimized. Obviously, potty training doesn't really save work, until the child can actually do it all by himself.

Mrs. Anna T said...

One of the relatives who is giving us grief over Shira not being potty trained yet, is taking care of her 1-year-old granddaughter on a daily basis. She is currently trying to potty train the child. I see how she does it. Basically she offers the potty shortly after the baby had something to eat or drink, and the baby sits on the potty for a long, long, long time while things are being offered to her to occupy her attention and prevent her from crawling off the potty (she doesn't walk yet). I wouldn't say it's bad for the child in any way, but the effectiveness is doubtful at best. The relative claims she is successful since the child goes in the potty several times a day; however, since this isn't the result of actual learning, but more of a lucky catch (unless the child is resistant to potty, you're bound to catch some wees and poos if you sit her on potty for hours at a day) I wouldn't call it success. For me, success is when the child is out of diapers, consistently and with little accidents. We'll see when that happens. If it's only a year (or 2) down the road yet it's claimed the child was "almost trained" at the age of 1, I'll be able to point out how things actually were. :o)

Beka said...

Here are some links I thought are pertinent to this issue:

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/2008/october/14/baby-potty-training/
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/1996/june/07/potty-training-answered/
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/1996/february/07/one-more-time/

Sarah said...

Regarding the links posted in the Nov. 18 comment, you should know that No Greater Joy is an organization that recommends disciplining children by hitting them with PVC pipe, among other things. You might want to find other sources for child rearing guidance...

Anonymous said...

I didn't read through your comments, so I don't know if anyone else already mentioned this, but when I trained my own 4 children and recently assisted in training our grandson, we found that it was best to take off the diapers completely and not offer a diaper. Instead, we put them in "big boy" pants or "big girl" panties. Yes, you do end up with a few accidents and may have a couple of embarrassing moments when your child is standing in a puddle, but trust me, it doesn't take long for them to figure it out--that coupled with you remembering to take them (no choice offered--just say, "it's time to go potty now")every 20-30 minutes, and they are soon diaper-free. :-)
Our grandson was trained shortly after age 2 and was completely (even over night) diaper-free within a month.
One thing I would caution about though is to be sure that your little girl has good bladder control. When I trained our oldest daughter, she was not quite 2 but she lacked good bladder control and I probably should have given her a few more months----just a thought.
But as you said already--don't lose heart, she will be trained eventually-no matter what method or the timing you choose.
:-)

Beka said...

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive/2001/may/01/in-defense-of-biblical-chastisement-part-1/

Hi! In reply to the comment,

I found the No Greater Joy ministries to be very biblically based, and have never come across any "PVC" pipe recommendation...hahaha ... perhaps there is, but when you really understand what they teach, its really more about instilling obedience godliness, self-control, and godly character than abusing and stunting a child.

Of course, the Bible advocates the "rod". Another area humanism has distorted the Biblical way of family life, besides feminism, is the neglect good old discipline.

But hey... I don't want to start an argument here. Shalom Aleichem.

Also, my mom potty trained us with story books. It was very positive. After awhile, she would set us on the potty with a storybook and we would happily do our business while amusing ourselves, and we never had a negative repulsion to the potty or anything. It was quite natural, growing up. We also grew up to love books :)

Jan Hatchett said...

Anna,
Just because another mother did something differently than we choose to do it, doesn't make it a better way to do it. I think it is absolutely obnoxious of anyone (relative or not) to imply that it would be.

When my kiddos were little, the advice I appreciated the most came in the form of, "when it was time to ___________, I found ____________ to be really helpful." That offered support and technique without being judgemental.

Every mom and child are different, and made in God's perfect plan.

sundrywonders said...

My mom always says there are three things your child has control of: Eliminating, eating, and sleeping.
Whaddaya know, Mom's right again! ;)