As we grow, learn, discuss, and interact with other women, I think we must be cautious about two things. One is legalism and applying cookie-cutter standards and norms that have nothing to do with God, faith, morality and anything that matters on a global scale. An example of this is rejecting someone because he or she doesn't dress in exactly the same way you do. Here's a ridiculous but true illustration: I know women who feel they should always wear stockings, even during the summer, and won't let their daughters associate with girls who don't wear stockings (even if they are otherwise modest and good girls overall).
I'm convinced, however, that we should also beware of the other end of the scale: hyper-tolerance, up to the point when we are afraid to form and voice our opinions, in case they might hurt someone. When we seek God in something we need to decide, we must make sure our conviction is rooted in what He commands, and once we do, we can boldly stand up for it.
There are many areas in which ambivalence is acceptable ("I feel more comfortable while wearing stockings during the summer, but this is only my personal decision"). Some things, however, are not up to discussion. How can we say, "I would never have an abortion because I know it's wrong, but I feel I can't impose my morals on anyone"? If I believe abortion is murder, it's very plain and simple, and there's no room for any 'but', 'if' or 'maybe'. If I believe the best thing for a baby is to be raised by his mother at home, and not to be shipped off to daycare, how can you expect me to say something different the next moment? Because it might ruffle someone's feathers?
Please understand that I'm not saying this because I think we should be judgmental towards those who think differently. Even if we know for sure that someone is doing something wrong, it doesn't mean we should point an accusing finger and make them feel bad about themselves. My bottom line is that we shouldn't be afraid to have strong convictions. Otherwise, we might find ourselves in a dangerous grey zone, where everything is allowed, nothing is right, nothing is wrong, and everyone are living their own 'genuine truth'.
I'm not saying there can't be different variations and solutions, for each unique family. We are all different, and as long as we fulfill our basic requirements and duties and God-given roles, there's an entire world for being creative and finding whatever fits us and our families better. The danger comes when we do the opposite: make a plan, and then try to tailor our faith accordingly, discarding anything that doesn't play along, and justifying it by saying that 'this is our own truth'.
The grey zone of indifference is dangerous in its subtle sneakiness. I know I don't want to go there.