An unpublished comment (edited by me into a more civilized form):
"Aren't you afraid your husbands, at some point, will get tired of your dependence and lack of personal responsibility?"
Since it might not sound specific enough to understand, I'll add that this was received in reply to a post I published some time ago. It was called 'Yes, I want to be a housewife'.
Having said this, we can translate the question I started with. Obviously, 'dependence and lack of personal responsibility' means 'leaning on your husbands and trusting them to provide for the family needs'. The original question was worded in such an ugly way that I thought I should just delete it and forget about it, but after looking beyond rudeness, I realized this is something important enough to address.
So let's take a thorough look at the following: dependence and personal responsibility, which is intertwined with the forlorn and forgotten value of duty.
Let's begin with dependence. In our culture, this word has a negative meaning and is treated like some sort of disorder. Everyone is urged to get 'independence' from anyone and anything. Yet this is an illusion. If you think you're strong, free and independent, you're fooling yourself. We are all small and weak in front of our Creator. We all depend on Him, whether we like it or not, whether we admit it or deny it. And truer, higher freedom can only come from opening your heart to Him and leaning on Him. In a similar way, a wife's relying on her husband, or a daughter's on her father, is not something restrictive and humiliating, but a source to true freedom and peace of heart.
And then we continue to the second point of this question. A godly man knows it is his God-given duty to provide for his family. Rather than feel this is an annoying load he wants to get off his back, a real man is built up by responsibility. When he knows his wife trusts him to lead, protect and provide for their family, it fills him with joy and pride. It makes him feel like a real man. And just so you don't think I'm living in some sort of fairy tale, allow me to add: yes, there are trials. Yes, there are hard days. Yes, sometimes we feel worn out and tired, and our men might feel tired too. This is precisely when we are measured for what we are. Do we take the easy way out, or do we continue doing what we should be doing?
Similarly, the wife has her own duties. Seeking her husband's counsel and allowing him to lead her does not make her in any way less responsible, mature and intelligent – just like it doesn't make us weaker when we pour our hearts out in prayer before God. She, too, has burdens on her shoulders. She must be a helpmeet and build up her man, in seasons of challenges as well as in easy periods of their life together; she must be available for her husband when he needs her, and take deep and sincere interest in his affairs at work; she must take care of the home and turn it into a sweet, welcoming place for her husband; if she has children, it is her duty to watch over their spiritual lives and their education. It all sounds like a beautiful vision, but this, too, can become tiresome after the tenth load of laundry and the hundredth dirty diaper of the week. And during rough moments, what keeps us going is not the pleasantness of what we must do right now, but knowing this is what we must do, and knowing why it is our duty.
Proverbs 31, a beautiful model for a virtuous woman to follow, doesn't describe some sort of whining weakling either. That woman is strong and valiant – but not what you'd call 'independent'.
We can't become independent, as much as we like to think that. We only choose what we want to depend on: God's ways, our husbands, and everything that will be meaningful for eternity; or superficial, worldly things: our paychecks, our boss, our material possessions, and self-gratification at any cost. Sadly, it seems our culture is leaning towards the second option. I, however, am opting for the first.
Earning money doesn't equal being responsible. If you have personal responsibility, you will not abandon your duties in favor of a glamorous and superficial lifestyle. Your husband's needs will not go unattended, your home will not be neglected and your children will know they have a mother who cares for them and is available for them during many sweet, long hours during the day, for studying and playing, learning and growing.
Again, since this is the real world, not all men are responsible, and some men, especially those 'educated' by the feminist movement, feel that leading, providing and taking care of their families is 'too much' for them. Therefore, we must be very careful about whom we choose to marry, and we must discuss our vision with our future husbands. But many men would be happy and delighted to finally have the opportunity to feel like real, strong men, empowered by their wives' confidence and trust.