As I start another post about modesty, I can almost see in the eyes of my mind a young girl or woman out there, giving a little sigh and saying to herself: 'Yes, I know modesty is good and right; I know it's important. But I'm just getting a little tired of reading about how I should only wear skirts, how tight is too tight, and how I shouldn't draw attention to myself. No fun!'
Well, actually, the message I would like to give today is quite different. Certainly there's nothing wrong with being valued, cherished, and appreciated – and yes, getting attention. Only we need to make sure it's the right kind of attention. If you put on immodest clothes and inappropriate, flirty attitude, you will not be seen as yourself – a precious and important human being – but as a lightheaded, flirtatious woman. Maybe you will even give the impression of superficial cuteness. But it will not give you long-lasting and solid attention and affection.
When I was in high school, the girls who received a lot of attention from the cutest guys were inevitably the most flirtatious ones, dressed in the shortest skirts and wearing the most makeup. Sometimes I would sigh and wish I was like them: pretty and popular.
Now my former classmates are all between 21-23 years old, and more than a few girls got married already. Want to know which girls? The meek and quiet ones, the ones we didn't think would ever find anyone. What about the giggly queen bees in their flashy dresses? They had so many boyfriends, so why aren't they married?
I'm not saying getting married as quickly as possible is the ultimate way to bliss. My point is that getting a lot of attention from men doesn't mean anything about our long-term happiness. We should ask ourselves: what type of attention do we want to get from men? Do we want fun and a few laughs? Or do we want men to see us as potential wives and mothers of their children?
Not long ago, I flipped through some photo albums from my high school days. I used to dress very inappropriately back then. Looking through those photos, I slowly came to realizing how there was virtually no chance to resist the obvious appeal of that young woman. Her bare shoulders, legs, chest, midriff screamed for attention. The wrong kind of attention.
Modesty isn't about hiding forever in the shadow of plainness. On the contrary: modesty allows to uncover the real you, with your special, unique beauty. You aren't your body. You aren't giggles and flirting. You are a sweet woman, cherished woman, with a beautiful heart, mind and soul.
You are also an individual; yes, modesty has nothing to do with cookie-cutter living. We are all called to some basic standards by God, but other than that, there's plenty of room for creativity and expressing your true self. It cannot be seen, however, if you let it be overshadowed by immodesty.