Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Busy and tired, but very happy bride

Dear friends, thank you for the overwhelming response to yesterday's post! It was so lovely to read the wedding testimonies of each and every one of you. Each one was a unique and special story, and I thank you so much for sharing with me and with the readers of this blog.

Thank you for helping me keep focused on the bottom line: whatever happens, however exhausted we might be right now, whatever goes not quite the right way with our wedding plans, however simply we might have to live at first, the only thing I want from the day of our wedding is to get married. Why allow minor details get in the way of our happiness? No way! :-)

And here is another wonderful response, from Lily, who for some reason couldn't log on to Blogger and sent me her comment via email:

"Our wedding was 21 years ago. My husband and I paid for the entire wedding ourselves. We spent $3500 total on the entire thing, including my dress. This is how much my sister spent 1 1/2 years later on her dress alone. We invited 75 people but over 100 showed up because friends told friends that we had lost touch with and they "crashed" our wedding. We didn't mind. We squeezed them in and we all had a blast!

Looking back from two decades I can tell you it isn't the "things" that made that day special. It was the knowledge that this was the first day of our marriage and we were so happy! There weren't any elaborate decorations for the church or reception site, just some beautiful flowers and a few pretty bows, all of which my bridesmaids and I made. The food was simple and our DJ was a friend who gave us his services as his gift. In the end all that matters is that I showed up, he showed up and the people we loved most were there and happy for us.

I'm sure you have heard older married people speak of their poorer days together with fondness. The reason is that you look back and remember that being together was all that mattered. I can say that I know people who have gone into debt for their weddings and a few aren't married anymore (my husband's theory is the wedding and not the marriage was their priority) and others actually regret having spent so much money on things that are momentary. In the end, what truly matters is that you will be married. As long as you are happy with your choice of spouse, everything else is just decoration."

PS: Tomorrow I will attend a wedding for the first time ever! I'm very excited for the chatan and kallah.


Rebekah S. said...

This woman is so right. Really, it's an unwise use of the Lord's money that we're supposed to be good stewards of when we spend thousands upon thousands of dollars for things in the wedding that will only last a few hours!

I love going to weddings! :) Are the bride and groom friends of yours? Be sure to take pictures for us if you can! :)

Many blessings,

Anna S said...

The groom is my future husband's brother... which makes him my future brother-in-law. ;)

Lydia said...

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time!

Ways of Zion said...

I was so glad that from the beginning we focused on our marriage and not the wedding date. Therefore with it not going as we would have wished we still had a wonderful start to a blessed marriage!

Michelle said...

This is so true. The wedding only lasts one day, no matter how beautiful or expensive it is. The marriage should last a lifetime.

KTHunter said...

That is really neat to have your first wedding be for someone "in the family". My brother and I got married 2 months apart. My parents had a fun year that year.

Rebekah S. said...

How neat, Anna! :)

Sammybunny said...

So true. I echo everything the other girls have said! Enjoy the wedding of your dear chatan's brother!

Zeljka said...

I am looking forward to your wedding pictures and your report :))) But I must say - I am eagerly wait for your married musings, I am sure I will enjoy!

May I ask when is your wedding going to be?


ps I am not leaving my blog link because it is written in croatian, and I am not sure would it be any use for readers and for you. Sometimes I am thinking about english version (although my english is not really sofisticated) just to be able to share my thoughts with you and other ladies.
I just wanted you to know :)

BTW I am your faithfull reader, I even dreamed I met you at some party, and we had nice conversation. You never know :)

Do you plan some honey moon?

Becky said...

You look so beautiful !!!
God's blessing with your wedding !!!

Haus Frau said...

I've helped plan a number of weddings over the past few years and have found that the simplest ceremony/reception is by far the most meaningful, for so many reasons. Simple elegance. Not a 'circus'.

When we got married we enjoyed a simple and intimate ceremony with one attendant each (siblings) and immediate family and closest friends (four of them). It was held outside in one friend's courtyard amidst a beautiful fountain and small lush garden. Our reception included friends, extended family and coworkers and consisted of punch and cake. I believe everything came to maybe $500 total. My knight planned our honeymoon which was to Kauai and cost considerably more than the wedding. Bless his hardt. ;o)

Rebekah S. said...

You've been tagged, Anna! :) Come to my blog for details!

A Dose of Joy said...

Anna, it's so clear that your desire to have a beautiful, yet humble wedding will be the start to a wonderful marriage! I'm praying for you and your husband-to-be.

-Dose of Joy

Persuaded said...

my daughter is looking over my shoulder... when we saw your picture come up i said, "she's getting married!!"

"ooooo!" she said, "to whoooo? pictures, pictures, i wanna see pictures!"

what a silly girl she is.... still i'd kinda like to see one too;-)

Leigh said...


I would love to hear about how you met your future husband. Did you tell about it before and I missed it? I am SO enjoying hearing about your plans and thoughts!

Take care,

deb said...

Its been my experience that the amount of money spent on a wedding-or the rings- has nothing to do with the happiness of the couple. I think that a lot of people today forget that the wedding ceremony isn't about the bride but a celebration of the sacrament of marriage.

Kathleen said...

That's so true. It will be the people and the ceremony that make the memories, not the stuff.

I am so excited and joy-filled for you, Anna! Many blessings.

Apple Cider Mama said...

Anna, I'm so glad that you're feeling more centered and at peace with the wedding plans. And, how fun that you'll be going to your future BIL's wedding! I'm jealous. My husband and I are both only children. I swore I'd never marry an only child, but then, we make plans and God laughs, right? Anyway, cherish your extended family. It is such a blessing.

On another note, I didn't get a chance to post on your previous post, though I would have liked to. My daughter was having a fussy day that day, so I didn't really have time to compose a response. However, one point I wanted to add to all the other wonderful advice you received: Remember that your wedding is the first day of your marriage. Whatever you do, use it to illustrate what you want your married life to be like. Do you want to be hospitable? Make sure that you honor and take care of your guests in a way that shows true hospitality, rather than ostentatious showing-off. (One thing my husband and I did was to make little gift baskets with practical things and a little note for out of town guests which we delivered to their hotel rooms when they arrived in town. We also wrote letters to each of our guests and put those at their place rather than ordinary favors.) Choose the kind of decorations, dress, etc. that reflect the sort of home you'd like to have. In your case, I would guess that might be simple, feminine, modest, and lovely. Carve out time and space to have a bit of intimacy with your groom after the ceremony, if that is something you want to cultivate in your marriage. Anyway, you get the idea. If you are concentrating on the core elements of what you want your marriage to be like, then even if you have to compromise on the elements (daisies instead of roses), it won't matter so much, because you'll still have addressed all the things that matter to you most.


Haus Frau said...

A quote I heard a while back...

"Never despise meager beginnings."