Monday, February 4, 2008

The Woman Who Has It All

Mrs. H is rushing home. It's already late in the evening, and she was supposed to leave the office some time ago, but her boss held her back with instructions for tomorrow's conference, so she is in a hurry. She's late, and at home, she is welcomed by a disgruntled babysitter.
- Sorry, - she says. – I'll make it up to you at the end of the month. How are the children?

She is informed that Susie is fine, but 3-year-old Daniel has caught the flu again. He has already fallen asleep. It is unlikely that he will be able to go to kindergarten tomorrow morning. Can you come, then? No, Mrs. H, terribly sorry. Good night.
At that moment, 7-year-old Susie hears Momma's voice and comes out of her room. She runs forward and kisses her mother.

- Can you help me with homework, Mommy? – She asks.
- Not right now, sweetie. – Says Mrs. H. – Mommy's tired. Maybe later.
The door opens and Mr. H comes in. He looks exhausted
- Good evening! – He says, taking off his shoes. – What a day!
- Daniel has the flu again, - tells Mrs. H. – And the babysitter is busy in the morning.
- Oh… again? Could you stay with him tomorrow, dear?
- I have an important meeting tomorrow. – Snaps Mrs. H. – What about you?
- Well, I can't be late tomorrow either, dear… you know how busy it is now in the office…
- I'll call my sister. – She resolves. – She knows many babysitters. Maybe she can suggest someone.

Finally, that problem is settled, and Mr. H says:
- I'm starving. What's for dinner, dear?
Dinner! Mrs. H hasn't quite thought of that. She opens the freezer. Fortunately, it's not quite empty. She quickly pops a frozen pizza into the microwave, and the family sits down to eat.

After Susie goes off to bed, Mrs. H looks around her. Nobody has cleaned for days. Dishes are piled up in the sink; the kitchen floor is covered with sticky, greasy stains; the dirty laundry hamper is overflowing; children's toys, clothes and books are strewn all over the living room floor. Grumpily, Mrs. H loads the dishwasher and the washing machine, mops the floor, and picks up her children's toys. In the meantime, Mr. H tidies up the children's rooms and measures Daniel's temperature. It's nearly midnight when they are finally in their bedroom, ready to go to sleep.

- We need to consider hiring someone to help around the house, - says Mrs. H. – It's too much for us to handle on our own!
Mr. H looks troubled.
- I'm not sure we can afford it… but I'll try to take on another project. Might mean even longer hours in the office. Oh, and dear, a button fell off my shirt today; could you fix it, please?
- I'll take it with me tomorrow when I go to pick up my suits from dry cleaning. I'm sure they can fix it there, - Mrs. H replies sleepily.

Mrs. H's last thoughts before she falls asleep are about the dry cleaning; the babysitter; the new car she needs, because her current one doesn't look respectable enough anymore…
Mr. H, before sleep overcomes him, thinks about the long day he had; the even longer days he is going to have if they need to hire help; the shirt he will have to iron for himself tomorrow before he goes to work…

So, once Mr. and Mrs. H are asleep, let's think what we have here. The general picture is this:

We have children who spend more time with their babysitter than their parents;
A husband who feels he is unappreciated and his needs aren't taken care of;
A wife who is overwhelmed with duties both at home and at the workplace;
An unorganized household, where not much is done and a lot of money is spent.

Let's now have a more careful look at Mrs. H's expenses.

Mrs. H pays a babysitter and is considering hiring someone to help her around the house because she just doesn't have time to clean; she doesn't have time to cook either, so she stuffs her freezer with expensive, unhealthy, commercially prepared foods; she doesn't have time to plan her shopping carefully or compare prices, so every week, she just loads her cart with whatever items she looks upon.

Mrs. H also needs to keep up with a certain image that is expected from her at work. So she simply has to buy expensive shoes and suits that require dry-cleaning, even though that is not quite her style. She also needs a car that looks good, so she changes cars about every three years. Add regular visits to the hairdresser, and you will get an estimation of the sum Mrs. H spends every month just to look like she is expected to.
On top of all that, Mrs. H is feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and unfulfilled. She doesn't spend time with her children, and communication with her husband is close to zero. She is constantly tired and on the run. She has been taught she is supposed to have it all! Why doesn't she seem to be able to do it?!

All her expenses that we listed before have one thing in common: they are work-related.
If it wasn't for her work, Mrs. H wouldn't need a second vehicle or expensive clothes. She wouldn't need hired help. She probably wouldn't need even a dishwasher and a dryer! If Mrs. H stayed home, she could cook from scratch and plan healthy, nutritious, economic meals. And she certainly wouldn't depend on anyone to fix a button on her husband's shirt.

If Mrs. H took the time to be with her children and tend to their needs, she would know about little Susie's dreams, her ambitions, her friends and the influences she is experiencing. And if she found out about the new word Susie learned from one of her girlfriends at school that day, Mrs. H would probably decide to homeschool.
But most of all, if Mrs. H stayed home, she wouldn't constantly feel as though she is running a race that leads nowhere and never stops.

If Mr. and Mrs. H sat down together with a pen and paper and considered the numbers carefully, they would have realized that the "second income", in fact, melts almost into nothingness – or even forms a negative number!

But that, alone, isn't enough. Mr. and Mrs. H belong to a generation that has been taught to think that a woman must find employment and join the workforce ranks, or she is unhappy and unfulfilled; that being a homemaker and a mother is a form of oppression; that children belong in daycare, and not in their mother's arms. Unless they question that unquestionable "truth", they will not realize what a toll it is taking on their family life.

To see it, we just need to take a sober look at the typical day of Mrs. H. The typical day of the Modern Woman Who Has It All.


Sheri said...

Anna, this was fantastic! Thank you for painting such a great picture of a woman who thinks she has it all(normal society in general), but is missing the mark in all areas of her life. Oh how I pray women would find the blessings that come from knowing "the truth" on this topic.

Erin said...

Anna, this was dead on. It reminded me of a book I read a few years ago, marketed as "chick-lit", called "I Don't Know How She Does It", pretty much a story of Mrs. H's life, with the added element of her extensive traveling for business leading to an almost-affair. The book was supposed to be entertaining, and at the end, the message is that you CAN have it all; it's much easier if you can finagle a home-office, though!

I found it to be one of the more depressing books I've ever read, and instead of donating it back to the thrift store, I threw it in the trash.

Terry said...

Great post, Anna. I think so many modern men and women are trapped in these cycles simply because in most cases, neither husband or wife has ever considered that there may in fact be a different, more fulfilling way to live.

Anonymous said...

Once again, you're right on.

I think Focus on the Family did a study years ago about the expense of a working wife/mother. The conclusion was that aside from the obvious financial considerations, the expense to her family and home were huge.

I suppose it could be argued that if a woman has a degree she can make more $ than a typical pink-collar position. Sure. But the expense to one's family is still paramount. The hearts residing in a dwelling need heart & home, not frozen meals and babysitters.

Thank you for posting this, Anna.

Rebekah S. said...

Ok, I have to say it yet again: I'm completely speechless. Well done, Anna!!! You are amazing with your words. You're so right! And we're supposed to think that feminism is pro-woman? HAH!

I just got the idea into my head the other day that on my own blog I would write a true to life story just like this and then contast it with another story about a true life homemaker, and the joys and fulfillment being a homemaker brings. So, I was surprised to see your blog today and see that you had written almost the same thing! :)

Here's something else Mrs. H would have to add to her expenses: Medical expenses due to the fact that she's suffering from poor health because she's so stressed out! :)

Thanks again for another amazing, amazing post, Anna! You truly are talented.

Rebekah S. said...

Hopefully through your oustanding post, more women will be able to have their eyes opened! Many are blinded by feminism these days, but I believe that God will use your post to change womens' lives!

Keep up the great work, Anna, and stay strong! :)

Catherine R. said...

Thank you for this post, Anna. Really, when you think about it, many women spend their entire incomes on paying people to do what God wants them to be at home doing; a nanny, a housekeeper, expensive convenience foods, the list goes on. It's absurd! My cousin just had twins...I went to visit her when they were only a couple months old and she was on her cell phone setting up interviews with nannies because she wanted to goo back to work full time as soon as possible. It made me really sad.

singlemomforgod said...


Once again you are dead on! This sounds like my life without the MR.H, and the new car and other materialistic things. God is working for me thought, this scenario is the main fear in my life, I have this before God and I see him working in my behalf so that in the end I won't end up like this. Wonderful Post. I love your brutal honesty!! Keep it up.

Kathleen said...

Typical! I see it so many families. If only they would stop thinking that "they need the money" from a second income. Well, I guess if they "need" a three-foot TV and two SUVs and a huge house and faddish clothes for the kids...

Sue said...


I see your point here and agree that it is valid in a great number of families.

However, I also know of highly intelligent women who find a way to move off the career fast track while their children are young, and often later. My family practice doctor went to half-time after she had a daughter and she is job-sharing with another female physician mom with two young children. Our pets' vet is a delightful woman who only works 4-5 hours 2x per week while her children in school along with a Friday evening and every other Saturday morning.

My other comment is a little more picky; I think unless you lived in an urban area with good public transportation, it would be pretty difficult for a woman not to have her own car. How can she shop, take her children to the park, library, etc.? And if you lived far into the country and home-schooled you and your children may not see anyone other than your husband (who might have to work very long hours to support the family) for days at a time. If I were in that situation, I'd try very hard to obtain a car, even a clunker!

Just my .02,


neuropoet3 said...

I just don't understand why so many women do this to themselves. How can the "rewards" they get at a job come anywhere near the "rewards" of homemaking?

Thanks for sharing this post with us, Anna.


50shousewife said...

Wonderful post! A dear friend of mine is in this very situation and has the health problems to go along with the stress. We are the same age and she has already had several surgeries and is on several medications including anti-depressants. Women's bodies were not meant to stand up to the "having it all" lifestyle.

Kacie said...

Excellent work. What's the point of "having it all" if you can't enjoy any of it? With time divided so much, it's not likely you'll be able to enjoy any one element to the fullest.

The Digerati Life posted on this topic today. Here's a link:

Mrs. Brigham said...

This post could not have been more timely for me, Anna, as we are experiencing some major fireworks with certain family members right now since Sean will not "make me" go out to get a job and "contribute" to the household. Without even getting into the dreadful non-financial implications on this choice, or even factoring in the thousands of dollars I would have to send for a second car, work clothes, and other expensive just to *start* looking for a job, I would wind up paying over $5000 to work every year! And that is *without* the junky convenience food, disposable diapers, doctors visits from Peapod being in daycare, and other convenience items we would need to purchase so I could run around in circles and "do it all!"

Jenny said...

Excellent point! I'm all for mothers staying home, but I feel that something important is missing from your post:

It might seem like a great idea to justify a Scriptural principle with claims that it's more practical! But just because doing something is right doesn't mean that it's economically efficient.

Don't forget that homemakers can have stressful lives too! It would be silly for a woman to think that taking care of a family, cooking, cleaning, etc. would be a snap after quitting her job.

Also, some women do make more than enough to cover extra expenses. They also arrange their schedule to spend time with their families. Not all working mothers are in the situation presented here. Something else will have to convince them to stay home!

Kelly said...

Very well said Anna! I know many working moms and even they say that they are working to pay for daycare/preschool. If they factoring in the working expenses car, clothes, and travel they would fine that they are losing money. I don't understand these moms who work only to put their children in daycare/preschool.

PhDCow said...


It's not like that for every woman who works. I teach organizational behavior and one of the topics I cover is the myth of work-family balance. It really is a myth because it's never going to be 50-50. Yes, sacrifices need to be made, but that doesn't mean a woman can't be successful in all aspects of her life.

Yes, I work outside of the home. But I still put a hot, home-cooked meal on the table each night. Right now, I'm checking my e-mail and blogs, watching my children play, and smelling the homemade meatballs cooking in the crockpot.

Yes, it takes planning and forethought, but it's possible. We rely on my family for support. I'm blessed to have a job that allows flexibility so the time my children spend with their sitter (who is their surrogate grandmother, btw) is minimized.

Emma's homework is done every night with either my guidance or my husband's guidance. Am I tired? Of course, but that's par for the course and I'm willing to give up a little sleep.

My house isn't spotless, but it's cozy and it's home. It's warm and inviting for all who come here. I go out of my way to make sure it's a home -- a place of comfort and safety for the four of us. And that's what counts for me.

I know I'm not the average working mother because of my career choice, but I had to put in my 2 cents (or more) since you painted such a bleak picture.

I know you were trying to make a point, but I get so frustrated when this issue pops up. As women, we have so much in common that it saddens me when we start taking sides on such a divisive issue. Every woman has to take the path that's right for her and her family whatever that may be. We should be supporting each other rather than pointing our fingers and criticizing each other.


Heather said...

Anna- I have been lurking for some time now. You have a wonderful way with words and what you wrote is just so true. If people sat down and thought things through they might make there lives so much simpler.

I do have one thing to add though as a mom to three boys 5 and under, and wife to a hard working man I wouldn't want to give up my dishwasher or dryer. There are only so many hours in the day to get things done :)

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, it's all too true...a scenario that's happening in real life in literally tens of thousands of homes each day.


Anonymous said...

Anna, are you sure you're not married already? You speak like a woman far wiser than your years.

Jaime said...

While I mostly agree with you, I don't always think that it's the end of the world when a woman does work.

Ultimately, it's about the quality of the time vs. the quantity of time spent with the kids. I may only be home with my kids for a few hours on a weekday, but that time includes dinner as a family and some uninterrupted playtime before baths and bed. Yes, the time is concentrated into one chunk rather than being spread throughout the day, but as long as it's quality time together, does it really matter? Overall, I'd wager that the time spent with the children comes out the same in either case...

In the end, how clean does a house need to be? Most tasks need only be done on a weekly basis, and many chores can be accomplished with a toddler in tow (they can even participate!). Again, we work together as a family - even the youngest can help put away toys at the end of the day.

I do concede that the biggest thing I do not do is cook dinner. In our house, however, my husband actually enjoys this task - and is quite good at it. So I clean the dishes instead - usually while the kids are in the tub.

I think the greatest danger for a working mother is the situation you describe - the point at which the job expects far too much from her, and she willingly provides it.

Goodness, I've already written far more than I meant to, so I'll stop for now!

Shan-Oh said...

Anna, again and as always, well written!

Just wanted you to know that in December, my husband and I sat down and planned my exit from the workforce and entrance to motherhood by the end of this year.

We had both expressed our wish to have a stay-at-home parent in our family during our courtship, and agreed in our marriage vows to put our family first. This is a long awaited dream, but we are ready.

We really did take into account all of the expenses that I currently incur working outside the home, what my income currently is....and even with a good job in the sciences, I would bring in just $1000 more than what I would have spent on daycare. JUST daycare, and not including convenience food, cell phone and vehicle bills, etc. We look at it as 'costing' us only $12,000 for our children to have their mother raising them.

My sister, who is a single parent, has no choice but to work full time to support her two kids. She begged her stay at home neighbor to become her 'at home' daycare provider. In our state you can become a daycare provider for up to eight total children (including your own in your home (and not a center) with some minimal licensing, fees and inspections.

The neighbor agreed, and is now making $1000 per month in income from my sister. My sisters suggestion to me was to become one of these at home daycares, and take on one or two children, and thus make up the difference in income. It's an intriguing idea, and one that bears careful consideration. I would be curious to your thoughts on whether or not this would be a good idea for someone considering making the leap to staying at home. It would certainly help us make the change without feeling too much of a pinch. How could it be good? How could it be bad?

Sammybunny said...

Well stated, Anna. It is a classic picture of the majority of women in that situation. Some are able to make it work, but they are few and far between.

Elizabeth said...

Wow...this is quite a story. I have to admit that my day is a bit different. I wake up at 5:00 and prepare for the day, then nurse my little one. My husband wakes up and feeds her fruit and cereal while I finish preparing for the day. He also dresses and cuddles with her after we talk while I get ready for work. Then, I pack us off to school and work. I leave her with her grandmother while I work not far away at a Montessori school. I eagerly pick her up at the end of the work day and we sing silly songs in the car on the way home. Who can get enough of Veggie Tales, right? :) When we get home she watches Mama prepare dinner and eats as well. After dinner, she and I play in the living room. We have our lesson for the day...colors, shapes, etc. Then, I read to her from her Bible or a storybook, change her into her pajamas, and cuddle her to sleep. I then have some quiet time to recharge before hubby comes home from work. We have our cuddle time before bed...sometimes watching a movie. I guess when you get down to it...families work best when they work together and have each others best interests at heart.

The Chatty Housewife- said...

I am so glad I stay at home! It is so much more of a relaxed atmosphere. Especially right now since we don't have kids yet! :) I can't wait to raise my own children with the values and morals that I believe in. I feel like I am in "practice mode" now, as I am a wife and caretaker in the home.

Gina said...

This post, like all of your posts, really made me stop and think, and then pray. Although I am earnestly seeking to be a Proverbs 31 wife, mother, and homemaker, I fall far short of what I know is the ideal. I work from home and do my utmost to keep my priorities in order - but it is so incredibly hard! I am not a woman seeking to have it all like Mrs. H., but I still see myself in her and I don't want to be.

My heart's desire is to be a full-time wife and mother and make my home my #1 ministry. Thank you for always keeping my eyes and heart focused on home, rather than making a name or reputation for myself in the working world.

Sadly, situations force me to help my husband provide for the family and it takes a fair amount of my time every day - - - Praise God for His grace, strength, and wisdom.

I pray for the day that I can serve God and my family as a 100% full-time worker-in-the-home!

Bless you and your upcoming wedding!

Gina in AZ, USA

USAincognito said...

Been a long week for me...I feel like Mrs. H - just without the husband and kids. hehe! ;)
I will admit that there are times when I wish I was not single and having to work...all I can say is, reading this post made me tired.

Cristina (a.k.a. "Stramenda") said...

I have lived this. I worked 14 years full time in demanding roles, then did it two years with a young child at home. Never again - its just an awful life - exactly as you described. Marriages can lose a lot of love in this scenario too - frustration and anger are always close to the surface. I did it because my husband had a painful back injury and until he recovered I needed to work. (He was not able to help around the home either.) My husband had surgery and was eventually able to resume work, however he decided to retrain in a different line of work as a tradesman, doing an apprenticeship, and earned as much as a 15 year old boy. With a mortgage and a young child, would I continue to work? I told my work friends I'd rather live on beans every night than continue to not be with my daughter. We survived on peanuts, but did it, and will never look back. I'm now a SAHM and have a new baby. I'm surprised to discover that this God given role of homemaker really does feel right. I enjoy being there for my babies, enjoy having an organised home and home cooked meals, and enjoy greeting my husband who loves our new organised and peaceful life. :-)

I don't miss the office, or dressing up, or any of that, at all.

Today I attended my daughter's first day at 4yo kindergarten. If I was working, I would have sent her there with her grandmother whilst I went to work. The kinder was substandard. There was no order, and parents when in and out as they pleased, with the only two teachers not really paying attention. Even when I picked her up the children were not packed up ready to go sitting on a mat, being let out to their parents one by one. I was not impressed. And if I hadn't been there I would never have known - and I've decided she's not going back there.

Sammybunny said...

Brilliant post, Anna. Spot on.

(((((HUGS))))) sandi said...

This is my first visit to your blog, and I am SO HAPPY to find ya and experience your beautiful heart! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

Karen said...

You just described my childhood to a tea. *Shudders*

Except you left out the divorce and constant yelling at the kids.

It's also quite scary to think that she is putting her kids in a situation where they are about to be babysat all day by a complete stranger. Scary but VERY true to life.

Autumn Grace said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I am a wife and homemaker who loves being at home. When we got married almost three years ago, we felt like the Lord was impressing us to have me stay at home. I'm so glad I have because it is clear this is where the Lord wants me. I know many modern eyebrows have been raised that think I should be working, especially, since we don't have children yet. Proverbs 31 brings me encouragement to know that I am following God's plan.

I am praying for you, as you prepare to get married and become the wife God wants you to be. May God's blessings pour over your family of two!

Brenda said...

As someone who has been a Mrs. H to a degree, I was just heartsick reading this. I so remember the thought of "do I really need to call in sick? Is the baby that bad or will she be OK? Could she just go to Grandma's and I will try to come home early? I mean, I'm out of sick days and I don't want to lose a day's pay if she's not all that bad. Could you stay home, honey?" I remember my husband scrounging around in a pile of clean clothes looking for matching socks to wear the next day. No one had time to fold and put them away. I remember after the girls were in bed, pulling out my bag and starting on stuff for work---until bedtime.

Whew! I'm glad I woke up from that nightmare and the Lord delivered me from all of that. I never want to go back. I couldn't.

Dave said...

Oh, yes. This is obviously a typical day in the life of every married couple, who choose to work and not to homeschool.

Anonymous said...

I was Mrs. H until a little over a year ago. As the primary breadwinner in the family I felt that I couldn't possibly give up my contribution to the household. After staying home for a few months my husband and I realized what a lie we believed! Now, we can enjoy quiet evenings to spend time with one another and our two children and have even have another on the way! I challenge the women out there to take a step of faith to submit to our role as wives and mothers. It is so much more fulfilling than climbing up the career ladder.

Anya said...

Anna - Thanks for this post. It's lovely to be affirmed in our choice, and I hope my friends who are struggling with the juggling will be inspired by this post too.

EllaJac said...

Very well written! I will be linking to this from my blog. Thank you!

Faith said...

A-M-E-N! ;)

It works for finances, time AND weight..

'everyone' is stuggling with weight nowadays, because we sit on our butt in the office all day.. then we have machines doing all of our chores *washing, doing dishes, vacuuming*.. and THEN we have to (again!) pay money and time to get the weight off we accumulated by our 'fancy lifestyle'.. meaning we have to go to the gym....

whadyamean wasteful? ;)

Anonymous said...

In response to Jenny at Neuropoet...

This is not entirely a decision made by a woman. Many husbands insist their wives work so the 'toys' can be purchased, a lifestyle sought, a social level attained.

Rebekah S. said...

You know, even if we didn't even pay attention to the numerous commands of our loving, all-wise God Almighty regarding men's and women's roles, it STILL wouldn't make sense for all these women to give their children to the children's grandparents, nanny, etc. so that they can go off to work! Those children are the parents' responsibility-not the governments', etc.

Once again, your wisdom shines forth so, so clearly in this post, Anna! :) You amaze me.

Karen said...

Yes, my husband is one of those men who wants me to work once the kids are in school, who sees no problem with it. But I hope and pray and believe that his mind will change before that happens. I have seen miracles like that before!

Cristina (a.k.a. "Stramenda") said...

Dear Shan-oh

Perhaps stay at home for a while with your children first. Get some routines down pat (I actually had to learn how to house-keep and keep routines - the transition is not instant - this includes a lot of mental and emotional adjustment to being at home too) when all of this is working very smoothly and you are so accustomed to your new life that it comes naturally to you, then consider taking on other people's children. Plus it will make your children feel special that you spent time with them exclusively for a while - and take some time for yourself to do some hobbies and things you've only dreamed of whilst at work.

Looking after other people's children may be something one has to have a gift for (not everyone will bring you nice, well disciplined kids!). It may mean you're stuck in the house more, or you fit out your car and don't mind taking out extra children, which could include taking them to their own separate kinda's and appointments.

Best wishes with all your decisions.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. It was exactly what I needed to read today.
In Him,

Anonymous said...

Very well written Anna.
Yesterday I worked out how many hours a week I/we need to work inside the home to keep it at a maintenance level (and I do mean just maintenance - reasonably tidy, clean enough and healthy food), I worked out for just me and my husband it would be just over 21 hours. We have no little ones yet but I am currently working full time outside the home. He pondered how "other people do it" - I looked at my list and figured that a lot of them must have dishwashers, perhaps a cleaner, and possibly take their shirts to the drycleaners along with their suits and never iron anything else. I also figure that a lot of them don't keep Sabbath. This was without taking into account the time needed for occasional jobs (washing windows, tidying cupboards, cleaning the car etc.)it also didn't take into account the time needed for personal things like spending time with God, showering and even eating. We made a commitment before getting married that I would come home as soon as possible and my dear husband said last night that I really needed to come home as soon as we can. - OK that was a bit of an essay sorry for that - maybe I need to blog this one myself!

Buffy said...

An excellent illustration. It's sad that so many women think they have no choice.

Rebekah S. said...


Anna recently published a wonderful post on the quality time issue. Go check it out, if you're interested! :)


Anna wasn't trying to say that absolutely every working woman(working in the workforce, that is) has a life like Mrs. H.'s. But it's quite true that millions do. Why? Because of feminism, a philosophy that is supposedly pro-woman.

It's really tragic when I hear Christian women talking about how important their careers are, or about the fact that their kids are in daycare or at their grandparents' house so that they can work. This is not the way God created the family to be!! The Lord's ways are always perfect. Titus 2 tells us that if Christian women aren't homemakers, they're allowing God's Word to be blasphemed! That is a serious sin, and something that must not be taken lightly. That's why it's always so sad to hear Christian women say things like those I mentioned above-for those things are so contrary to Scripture, which should be the roadmap for a Christian's life-not the culture, world, etc. Only what God's Word says and commands should be what the Christian follows-not the world's sinful philosophies!

Love to you all through the Lord,

Persuaded said...

Whew.... reading this was like a horrible flashback to last year when I was working outside of the home. You know what? I sat down one day and figured out how much work was really costing me. Of course there was childcare, and gas, but adding in the clothes, and convenience foods, drive0thru dinners and lunches out- it was harding profitable at all! Money is a lot tighter now, but it is soooooooo worth it, so worth it!

Thanks for writing what may be unpopular:-)

Leigh said...


That was brilliant! Very thought provoking!!


Luba said...

Besides being married, this described me a few years ago. The pressures of work affected my health (I am still recovering), and even though I lived in a small apartment with my brother, I could not keep up with laundry, cleaning, or cooking. Before my husband and I got married, we agreed to my working part-time. However, he was not happy with the stress level I had at work and, after we prayed about it and sought counsel, I put in my two-week notice. I have not regretted it one time!

Younger husbands, though, seem to be less inclined to have working wives. I have three cousins who have children and are not working. Several of my married friends, although they do not have children yet, are stay-at-home wives and love it! We don't get bored. :)