Here's a statement that tickled me, in a discussion about wives submitting to their husbands and entrusting our husbands with our life and well-being:
Unequal distribution of power in any group, including the family, is inherently abusive.
That's very interesting. Does it mean that to prevent abuse, we must ensure absolute and total equality of power? Power, by its natural way, isn't distributed equally. We all have our authorities, whether it is God in heaven or men on earth - and the goal of achieving absolute equality might just result in the worst of thyrannies, like it happened in the country where I was born.
The implication of this phrase is basically that every woman must sustain herself and be in control, to prevent being abused. Now, I know some men are abusers and women will benefit from the ability to stay away from them. But most men don't abuse their wives, never did and never will! I have a wonderful husband, but suppose in theory there's a chance he will abuse me, or walk out on me. Should I invest in career and earn my own income, and be proudly self-supportive? Maybe in a few years indeed some terrible tragedy will happen in our family and I will say, oh, good that at least I have my career to fall back on. However I think it's more probable I'll wake up in twenty years and realize I have given up on my dream of giving my all to my family and living a peaceful life at home - for no good reason...
By the way, I'm sincerely puzzled by the claim that men have "everything" in the thrilling and exciting world out there, while women have "nothing" in the boring and limiting confines of their kitchens. My husband is a normal man with an ordinary job. He doesn't walk out of the door every morning to a day of excitement, partying, and adrenaline. His job is much more confined to a set routine, and includes much less variety, than my work here at home. My husband works hard to provide for us, and doesn't complain because his job isn't the highlight of his dreams. The situation is the same for most men.
Also, while I believe each woman should take her job as a wife and homemaker seriously, I also think a woman is geared for a different type of work than a man. God created us physically weaker than men, and while not all women will have many children, or any children at all, our bodies and spirits are programmed for motherhood - carrying a child, giving birth, nursing, nurturing... this doesn't mean women are incapable of working, but our hormonal changes make us prone to swings in our mood and physical well-being as well. It creates a certain weakness which may be vehemently denied, but which exists nonetheless. Often, a woman will need the freedom and flexibility in her schedule that enable her to rest when she needs it. Home environment will allow it, but most places of employment won't, causing women to ignore their natural weakness and harm their health.
You can tell your husband of your nausea or fatigue, and if he is a good man, most likely he will tell you to take care of yourself and rest. You can tell your children Mommy is not feeling her best today, and they won't bear a grudge against you for occupying them with quiet and restful activities. But the chances that your boss will be that considerate are slim.
I should get going - this day, in all its loveliness, is promising to be very busy. Beside the usual cleaning and organizing routine, I plan to make an elaborate (and hopefully yummy) cake for my husband's birthday - Mr. T will be 28 in a couple of days; that means the cake will be a tad early, but since tomorrow we're leaving to spend Shabbat with my mother, and after that we'll spend Shavuot with my in-laws, the only opportunity I have is today and I decided to seize it. It's a new recipe so I can only hope it's successful... and if it is, I will try to share pictures with you!
Due to Shabbat immediately followed by holiday, I will be gone for a few days, and hope to return sometime in the middle of next week. I hope the following days are beautiful and wonderful to all of you, and I wish a happy Shavuot to all my Jewish readers!