I'm going to make a confession: those of you who have imagined me busily and efficiently working around the house all day long, cooking a delicious three-course dinner for my husband every night, and keeping every item of our clothes or bedding crisply ironed, might just be disappointed by what I'm going to say.
I've been a procrastinator lately. A bad one! Don't get me wrong: the dishes are always done, and most often we've had clean underwear. But it takes me longer to start my day in the mornings, I feel less energetic, less gets done, and in the end, I feel less effective.
Some of it, I'm sure, is about pregnancy. Yes, I'm more tired than usual; I have less energy, and normally need a nap during the day, something I wasn't used to before I became pregnant. And sometimes I just need to put up my feet and rest. Also, some of the general sense of disorientation I've been feeling lately can be attributed to the notorious "baby brain" phenomenon. However, there are also other reasons.
One is rooted in the adjustment I naturally had to make - adapting my routine to my husband's. While I'm most energetic and efficient as an early riser and early sleeper, and normally feel the need to slow down starting from late afternoon, my husband is more active in the late evening and night, and hardly ever falls asleep before midnight. Because it's difficult for me to fall asleep before he does, I stay up late, get up late, and feel that the most productive hours of the morning were lost. Since this is more about my biological clock than anything else, I'm not sure I can do much about it.
Another factor is simply lack of motivation, which in turn has a number of reasons: one, I'm not used to being home alone. When I lived with my mother, there was always someone to tend to - my mother or grandmother - someone to talk to, and usually there was a cat or two at my heels. Having someone else's immediate needs to remember during the day kept me alert and on my toes.
Two, in our old apartment I felt lack of motivation to work hard, simply because it wasn't ours. "What's the point in scrubbing the sink?" - I thought to myself, - "What's the point in removing stains from walls? It's not ours; it's rented; we're moving soon" - and so I let the sinks become disgustingly dirty. Painting the walls was never even a consideration, because we knew we're staying only a few short months. In our new home, I immediately felt a burst of fresh energy.
And finally, I realized that whenever I worked hard, I felt the pull of a good book or the computer, thinking to myself - "We're going to have a baby soon, and I won't have much free time. How sorry I'm going to feel for not taking enough time to rest while I could!" - I still think a pregnant woman shouldn't overtax herself, and I believe it's better to approach the birth of a baby as rested and relaxed as possible, but I have to admit I've been using this as an excuse to slack off.
After much thinking on all of the above, and realizing I can and should do something about it I gradually started feeling a motivational change, which is slowly leading to better use of time. I believe it's very important to establish a good, solid, efficient routine before our little one comes along, because it will be much more difficult to do afterwards. Also, this time I have at home as a new wife with no children yet, is a treasured privilege. I can do special things for my husband. I can complete household projects which will be much more difficult to accomplish in a few months. There's so much to do, including but not ending in preparations for the arrival of a new baby - and like I discovered, the sooner I roll up my sleeves and start working, the more motivated I feel.