Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When you have "those days"

Yesterday was one of "those days". You know, the ones that pass in a blur - the baby is crying, the phone is ringing, a thousand of things demand your attention and you can't do anything... by midday, you are ripping your hair out. By the end of the day, you are exhausted and can barely hold up a sane conversation with your husband before you crawl into bed.

When "those days" happen, it's important to remember: it's not everyday, and tomorrow will probably be much better. All you need is some strategies to keep afloat for the next several hours.

Make a plan.
However small, short-term and unambitious it may be, a plan will help you feel you are in charge of the situation. When you say, now I'm going to make beds, and later wash the dishes, and then you go ahead and do it, you feel... hey, I'm still able to think!

Make a list of the things you have accomplished. Often, at the end of a day, it seems as though you did nothing. But when you think about it, you realize that you made the beds, washed the dishes, took out the garbage, cooked dinner, packed your husband's lunch for the next day and swept the floor. It might be less than you wanted to do, but it's not "nothing".

Be inspired. Do you have a book, web site or blog that encourages you on your journey as a wife and mother? Take a peek at it whenever you have time during the day, or even just keep its main ideas in your mind as you work (or race around). Some ladies keep daily homemaking journals or notebooks of inspirational quotes, which is a great idea. If you have a friend who understands and encourages you, and you can steal a few minutes to talk on the phone, that's even better - but it doesn't often happen on "those days".

Welcome your husband. When he comes home from work, remember he probably had a hard day as well. He had been away from home all day, and he has to keep up with the expectations of a boss and/or co-workers and/or clients. Even if the house is a mess and there's no dinner, smile at him. It will make all the difference in the world.

Unwind. It can be a bowl of ice-cream you and your husband share once the children are in bed, or a few pages of a good book, or simply sitting outside for a little while - anything that helps you relax.

The Almighty can get us through anything, so surely He can get us through "those days". Pray to be calm, patient, devoted and loving throughout a difficult day.

And remember, "those days" don't last forever. Someday, maybe even tomorrow, you'll look back and smile. Just be easy on yourself, your husband and your children. It will pass.


Persuaded said...

Very good advice my dear... and not just for the young mama! There are days even now, when I need to take a leaf from your book... make a list, take satisfaction from small accomplishments, *relax!*...

Bless you dear, and may you have a sweet, peaceful and productive day♥

Sara said...

I couldn't agree more! Great reminders for "those days"!

Ways of Zion said...

Thank you for sharing. Yestreday was one of those days. We got terrible news that a very special grandmother type to me died in the morning, and then we had 8, yep eight full out storms. Lightning power outages, the works!

needless to say I am praying today will be a better day

Bethany Hudson said...

Bravo! I agree with everything you've written here. The only thing I would add is that for whose who are a little more laid-back than Anna and I who like to plan things: on "those days", it might profit you to just say, "Forget it!" and head to the park with the kids to just have a good time and let the house be. I'm not saying it's okay to abandon domestic duties on a regular basis, but sometimes enjoying your children and keeping a cheerful atmosphere in the home is simply more important than clean sheets or dishes. Besides, once you get home from the park, you might feel more able to get those things done, anyway.

Slice of life said...

Maybe another one to add, batch cook some meals on good days and freeze them.

When you have a day where everything goes wrong, cut the corner of cooking dinner by having one made in the freezer. take it out, defrost it and bobs your Uncle a home cooked dinner that didnt take any thought that day as you had already prepared it!

Hope you are having a better day!

Gombojav Tribe said...

The other day I surely had one of those days. The baby was teething, but the needs of the other children still had to be met. I had a difficult letter I had to write that made me sort of emotional. And my husband was late coming home in the evening. When he got home I was ready to just cry.

Bless his heart, he let me go to the bookstore/coffee shop. I sat for two hours reading books and sipping a latte. I came home much refreshed and feeling like I was in my own head again.

Thank the Lord for a husband that understood that I just needed a little time to recharge!

Where My Treasure Is said...

I needed to read this today. Thank you so much!!

Anonymous said...

"Do you have a book, web site or blog that encourages you on your journey as a wife and
I sure do! It's this one! You give me encouragement and a new perspective each time I read your posts. Great message today! -Leah

Kari said...

Great post Anna! Thanks for the encouragement! We've had sickness taking over our home for the past week, and we've had a lot of "those days"1 :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Anna....how often I had "one of those days" when my children were younger! They seemed so difficult to get through! Your advice is so good, & I hope, truly, that other mothers, particularly those with little ones to care for, will heed the words you've written.

I enjoyed yesterday's post too. It is true that I have more experience as a wife & mother, but you can be sure that I'm trying all the time to be the best that I can be, & looking for ways to improve my skills in this profession of homemaker.

Who else, if not us, will bless the home the way it needs to be blessed, with a consistent presence? Who else can oversee the details of daily living in the home, & make sure that all the inhabitants grow & thrive the way they should? These are not unimportant tasks, & we are hardly to be pitied!


Anonymous said...

How true! I'm soon to be entering my ninth month of pregnancy and I'm anaemic (so I found out yesterday...explains my exhaustion!), so I often struggle to get all my daily jobs done...especially in the current UK heatwave!

But I find no matter how badly my day might go, no matter how unwell or tired I feel, as soon as my hubby comes through the door at night, I feel instantly better just seeing him. Just a few moments together before dinner to cuddle and say hello makes me forget all the negatives.

I try to remember to thank God daily for this enormous blessing he bestowed on me. That goes a long way to keeping me focussed on what really matters.

Hope today is easier for you Anna, and all your readers :-)

God Bless,

Martha xxx

Sarah said...

Thank you so much Anna.

Today I was feeling so discouraged. I felt that I hadn't accomplished much, but then I did as you suggested and wrote out what I had achieved.

Oh my! It was so much more than I had remembered! It wasn't a "lost" day at all, not at all. I think the hardest part was getting dressed. For me, sometimes that's the part I want to skip. :)

I had cooked a dinner of lentils, millet & garlic-butter chard, carrots, fingerling potatoes & beets. And I had made gingerbread cookies! And I had organized a big box of soup cans to go to the garage, and I had done two loads of laundry, reheated soup, rearranged flowers, and cleaned the floor.

Thank you.

I agree about sometimes just letting a day go by, on purpose, without trying too hard. That can be tremendously rejuvenating, when done purposefully. And that was a great story about the coffee shop. I used to do that when I lived in the city-- just go sit in a coffee shop. :)

Thanks so much.