Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Leaning on Him

In a comment a few days ago, Rose said that I seem to be a natural when it comes to motherhood. Rose, I do often wish it was so. :o) If motherhood and child-rearing came naturally to me, there'd be a lot less difficulty, and sometimes frustration and even feeling as though I'm at the end of my rope - but also a lot less growth as a person and woman, wife and mother, and a lot less reliance on the Almighty, Who alone has all the answers.

I sometimes hear people say they will not get married until they feel perfectly situated for marriage, or that they choose not to have children because they aren't the "maternal" type. I can only speak for myself, and I can tell that I'm not what you'd call the naturally maternal type. I grew up as a lonely child, without younger siblings or cousins to care for, perhaps this has something to do with it. Also, I'm not a very enthusiastic talker, and verbal communication is so very important when taking care of little ones (talking about the daily activities, telling songs and stories, etc). Those are just two examples of the many reasons why I can't call myself a natural when it comes to motherhood. Child-rearing is not natural for me in the sense of being easy, but it is something I'm working on incorporating into my nature, to grow and change and become the mother G-d intended me to become, by placing children in my arms and instructing me to raise them.

He, the Almighty G-d, places us in situations which are good for us, in the way that they are making us stretch ourselves and grow. Without stretching - which is at times painful - there would be no growth. I believe one can never be fully "prepared" for those enormous changes in our life which come with marriage and motherhood. In a way, we are not ready. It is humbling. It is, at times, frightening. Sometimes we feel inadequate in regard to doing what we are supposed to do.

And that is when we come to our Father. It is a part of His plan, too. If things always went smoothly, we wouldn't learn humility, we wouldn't see how truly needy we are of Him, and how He is the only one who can meet our needs, which are so great. Daily, I ask for help to become the wife and mother my family needs. Daily, I ask Him to teach me, guide me, change me.

And even though I'm sometimes embarrassed at how humble my efforts may seem, how seemingly little might have been accomplished compared to what I planned, I know He is ever and always there, waiting for my tears and my failures and my needs. As of myself, I will never be "successful". But with His help, I make it through every day.

He loves us, and longs for our sincere prayer and for us turning towards Him. I once read a lesson asking the question, why did so many great women of the Bible - like our mothers Sarah and Rachel, and Hannah, mother of Shemuel the prophet - walked for many long years down the bitter path of childlessness? And the answer is, that G-d allowed them to grow in that particular way, and from their grief blossomed the beautiful flowers of sincere tearful prayer to the Lord, and complete reliance on Him, which was what He desired.

Someone said motherhood is the hardest job you'll ever love. It's true. It isn't easy, but I am so blessed to be a mother. I sometimes pinch myself, hardly believing that I was so lucky to be chosen to be the mother of my wonderful children. I'm so excited to think that my journey as a mother is yet just beginning to unfold, that there's a promise of many years ahead to see my children grow. So beautiful. My husband and I are not alone, never - there is a good great Father and King guiding us. In Him we trust.


April said...

Proverbs 25:11-12

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
As an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprofer upon an obedient ear."

Good morning. I just wanted to say Hi, and to encourage you the way you encourage so many with your writing. Or try to, anyway. ^_^ I won't claim my writing or wisdom is where yours are.

I had been reading your posts from the beganning, and just wanted to say Hello at last, and that you have already helped me so much with trying to be a contented and skilled homemaker. I got a long way to go, but thank you for helping me get started in the right direction.
God bless you and your household.

Elle said...

This was a beautiful post! I have been reading your blog for a month or two and I have really been enjoying it! I wish I had had your wisdom that early in my marriage and mothering. I think of all the heart ache my family and i could have been spared had when had your heart towards the Almighty... but you are so right, He gives us what we need when we need it. and I needed to learn many lessons!


Jan Hatchett said...

You are so right that those of us to whom motherhood doesn't come naturally grow with our children as the Heavenly Father sees fit to lead us.

But, the funny thing is that the majority of mothers feel like it didn't come naturally to them either. We all live and grow and learn-that's why we eventually make such amazing grandparents, because we are comfortable in our skills at that point!

Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

I'll have to read this posting through again, but what helps in motherhood, I imagine, is considering the role as raising the next generation of wise men and and providing the upbringing for wise women.

Analytical Adam said...

It is interesting the bible never mentions God as father. God does mention God as a "man of war" but not father. Correct me if I am wrong. Rabbi's made prayers like this (likely imitating other cultures) but the bible does not talk of God in this way.

What is so ironic is that Judaism which claims to speak for the God of Israel the religion today by the Rabbi's today does not care who a child's father is. Isn't that mocking God to call God father when in reality you don't care if a child's father worships the God of Israel or not.

We have the nerve to call God father (which the bible never does) when we do don't care that a Jewish child should have a father that worship the God of Israel and not some foreign god.

Anonymous said...

So well written! Even though I was the oldest of 4 children, and helped a great deal with the siblings, I would not say I was totally prepared to be a mother either. It is a learn as you go experience. And when we have pretty much learned most of it, the children are grown. I wish I had known the TORAH path then, for it would have helped me so much. I knew some, but not near enough. So do not feel you are necessarily shortchanged just because you were an only child. My Mom was an only child and she was no doubt a better Mom than I was.

Mrs. Anna T said...

Adam, I have to disagree with you. The entire relationship between G-d and the people of Israel is described as father-child relationship, in many places in the Torah, though I have no time to provide examples right now.

Rose said...

Analytical Adam: Anna's foreword here is "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" - Proverbs 18:21

Anna is my friend. She and I have a different take on religion and, in this post, she was addressing a comment I made.

Mincing between wording is unworthy of Anna's blog. It also is unworthy of global friendship which is the power of blogging.

I regard my comments here as a privilege especially as Anna and I have different views on religion.

Anonymous said...


Thank you for this post! Sometimes when I read your posts I feel as though they are written specifically for me. :) I started reading your blog in 2007, when both you and I were single young ladies, and then followed your journey to becoming a wife - something I followed in a year ago. Now, as I am anticipating becoming a mother one of these days, here you are again, paving the way and writing posts that deal with my current questions and anxieties about having children. I always leave your site feeling better and more optimistic than when I arrived. Thank you!