Wednesday, April 3, 2013
How to make salted olives
1. Pick some olives from your local trees, around Rosh Ha-Shana.
2. Decide you are too busy preparing for the holiday to deal with them now; put the bag of olives in the fridge.
3. For the next couple of weeks, every time you open the fridge, sigh and say to yourself, "I really need to do something with those olives."
4. Forget about the olives.
5. Re-discover them months later, when you are arranging the fridge for Pesach. Tell yourself, "oh, cool, I had green olives and now I have black ones!" Throw away the olives that have spoiled. Congratulate yourself for saving more than half.
6. Decide that now you might as well make the olives kosher for Pesach. Remember you have no kosher for Pesach containers, and come up with the brilliant solution of disposable aluminium baking pans.
7. Soak the olives in water. Put them in your bedroom to make sure the kids don't touch them with chametz-filled hands.
8. Change water every day, to get the bitterness out of the olives. Oops, there's a leak in one of the aluminium pans. Mop up the spill.
9. After two weeks, drain the olives, put coarse salt on them and press them with something heavy. Every other day, dispose of the liquids that come out.
10. Once the olives are properly wrinkled and salty, serve. Smile as you are being told that the pickled olives you made two years ago (those which cost you much less effort) were a lot better tasting.
11. Prepare for the next olive harvest.
Illustration photo from www.briggishome.com